BattleTanx
War for Children of All Ages!
This little gem of a game was designed by 3DO, you know, after the whole 3DO thing, for the Nintendo 69. Notable for not having 69 jammed in the title somewhere. +2 points. So, what's the story?
It's the year 1999, so it's set in the future, obviously. There's a plague that kills all women, except for, like, 10, in the whole world. Yeah, it's already off to a great start. You play as some guy named Griffin, whose girlfriend was taken by the Gov'ment for having a vagina. So he goes off to save her from Big Brother. How?
Tanks!
He plows his way across the US, from New York to San Francisco, to get laid, finding some friends along the way.
There are three tanks:
Mototank: Small, fast, hits for very little, and can be crushed. Most fun.
M1A1 Abrams: Medium, moderate, hits for average, and is the starter tank. The Mario of the game.
Goliath: Big, slow, hits for a lot, and can crush the Mototank. Use only if you're a baby who can't video game.
But, there's much more to this game. There are Items! They range from health packs, ammo refills to secondary weapons:
Missles: Fires 3 missles at once. You can have them curve to the left or right.
Guided Missles: One missle to you can pilot to a target. Leaves the tank uncontrolled and unarmed while in the air.
Laser: A Laser
Mines: Mines
Radar: Negates cloaking, gives you a radar screen.
Grenade: Grenade!
Cloak: Cloaks you, hides you from radar screen
Gun Buddies: Shooting gun box.
Nuke: The "Fuck It" Button.
Rated T, for Kids. Bring the whole family along! It's never to early to learn how to enjoy blowing shit up!
Score: Nuke Deployed
