2019? Wow. Anyway, I came here to post an updated version of the Russian train joke (so I can bookmark it for future reference tbh), which is probably my favorite joke of all time.
Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, and Gorbachev are traveling by train across the Soviet Union, from Siberia to Moscow. Suddenly, halfway along the route, the train stops dead in its tracks.
"Let me go and see what the problem is," Lenin assures the others. So Lenin goes to the cab and lectures the engineer on the wonders of Marxism and the importance of duty to one's country. After he is finished, he goes back and sits down with the others.
Still, the train is not moving.
"I will handle this," Stalin announces suddenly. He goes to the cab and shoots the engineer, who falls to the ground. After he is finished, he goes back and sits down with the others.
Still, the train is not moving.
Khrushchev says to the others, "Violence is not the only solution; let's give the engineer another chance," and goes to the cab, where he props the body of the engineer at the controls. Then, he goes back to the others.
Still, the train is not moving.
Brezhnev suggests that they close the curtains and pretend that the train is moving; after doing this, he remarks how quiet the train is.
Still, the train is not moving.
Finally, fed up with the others, Gorbachev climbs out the window, goes on top of the train, and proclaims to the passengers: "Everybody! The train is not moving!" The passengers are thrilled by his honesty.
However, the train, still, is not moving.
