Story I came up with while babysitting (starring Nebbles, BDS and Maestro)

Started by Hero of Trains, May 04, 2015, 08:37:55 AM

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Should I change the ending?

No, keep it the way it is.
Yes, change it so that Latios doesn't die and Braxien and Noc get more of a role.
Yes, change it into an NSM battle royale for the ages.

Hero of Trains

More? Yes! This time a full length one!
     Nebbles continued through the forest, keeping Latios close by her side. She didn't yet trust the fairies, even though Latios was fine with them. They were so loud and chatty that she wanted to put them in a bottle, but Latios wouldn't let her. He really had a soft spot for the two little balls of light.
     Eventually, they reached the edge of the forest. Nebbles stopped Latios as the fairies rushed ahead. "Hooray! Finally free!" "No more chores for us!"
     "Wait. This was about chores? Really? Okay..."
     Braxien and Noc said in unison "Now we can help you! Do you have any puzzles? We're especially good at crosswords!"
     "Actually yes, we do! We need to get lava from the top of Mount Doom. Do you have any ideas?"
     After blinking silently for a while, they appeared to come up with something. "Just bring some water, you'll be golden."
     They grabbed their waterproof bags and turned them inside out, filling them with water. Then, they started walking to the mountain with the fairies in tow.
     Eventually, they reached the mountain. It was high and craggy, with sharp spires piercing the sky. The granite base was cut by rivers of obsidian, shining darkly as it invited them to climb to their doom. (Yes, I really did say that to a 5 year old)
     Latios and Nebbles started climbing. The winding path up was steep and slippery, and the fairies flitting around their heads taunting them did nothing to help the arduous climb. Coming to a ledge, they looked out on the world. Nebbles gazed upon the sea of trees, surprised at how tiny her home city was. Though she had lived there all her life, she could never know all its streets and secrets. How was she to know anything about this huge new world?
    A deep rumble broke her thoughts. Was the mountain erupting? "Yes! Perfect timing!" Braxien and Noc were overjoyed. Nebbles and Latios couldn't imagine why. "Hurry. See that large, bowl-shaped depression in the rock? Yes, that one. Fill it with as much water as it can hold."
 Latios had an idea of what the fairies were trying to do. "What about that one instead? It looks like lava fell there just recently in another eruption." To their surprise, the fairies started picking up bags of water as well.
"Sorry, we forgot we could hold stuff while walking up." Noc was trying to hold in his laughter as Latios fumed.
    However, everyone turned to look when a piece of molten rock crashed into the water. The fairies picked it up easily and said "We will return this to your father before it cools. Then our favor will be done and we can be free!"
   Latios and Nebbles slowly picked their way down the mountain. They traveled around the forest this time, so as not to disturb any other residents. Back at the castle, they found the king enjoying some soup in a black stone bowl.
   "Wait is that..." "Seriously, that's what you're using it for?" "Why didn't you just heat up one of our other bowls?"
The king talked through a full mouth "Thanks, you can have the sword. Have fun!"

This is the part where I completely stopped limiting my vocabulary just because they were 6 and 4.
 
Quote from: Dudeman on May 22, 2015, 06:24:42 PM
See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braix

Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

mikey

unmotivated

Nebbles

Quote from: Dudeman on April 13, 2016, 04:54:04 PM
- Nebbles, the beauty with the heart of frozen steel

Hero of Trains

Have a horrible headache today, so can't put down any more. Sorry. My stats exam gave me an aneurysm or something.

Anyways, vote! Do you want me to keep the ending as it was, basically Nebbles facing off against BDS, change it so that Latios doesn't die and Braxien and Noc don't leave (most likely option if I'm not feeling better tomorrow), or do you want me to change it into a huge battle with as many people as possible included? (This one will only be if I'm feeling in a writer-y mood tomorrow)

I may not pick the one that gets the most votes, but if one wins by a landslide I will most definitely do it.  :)
Quote from: Dudeman on May 22, 2015, 06:24:42 PM
See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braix

Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

Nebbles

That's my role, I'm the sword-wielding, dragon slaying princess here.
Quote from: Dudeman on April 13, 2016, 04:54:04 PM
- Nebbles, the beauty with the heart of frozen steel

mikey

You're the one who's going to turn to the dark side

*intense twinkling intensifies*
unmotivated

Hero of Trains

First, you two should work out which one is Tatl and which is Tael.
Quote from: Dudeman on May 22, 2015, 06:24:42 PM
See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braix

I've never completed Majora's Mask so idk.
I'll just be whoever Noc wants to be.
Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

mikey

unmotivated

Hero of Trains

Okay Noc, that makes it much easier. Good choice!
Braxien, go look at Noc's gif from a while ago. Tatl is on the left, the cream colored one. Tael is the purple one on the right.  :)
Quote from: Dudeman on May 22, 2015, 06:24:42 PM
See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braix

Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

BlackDragonSlayer

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on May 05, 2015, 05:21:09 PMWell since I'm NocturneOfShadow I'm more likely to be Tael
Quote from: braixen1264 on May 05, 2015, 05:27:38 PMOk then I'll be Tael I guess
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

I propose an ending! I eat everybody, and they form a city in my stomach, and everything goes well until they start being digested! Mwahahaha! Erh... hrm... hrm... I suppose that wouldn't work out quite so well...
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

MaestroUGC

Try to do everything; you're bound to succeed with at least one.