News:

Don't forget to submit your daily replacement!

Main Menu

Fantastic Ike's Aquatic Update Sheets

Started by Fantastic Ike, June 21, 2024, 06:51:07 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Kricketune54

Deep Sea Bass (Coral Riff)
• m2, 6, and m10 the Bn's in the LH on beat 4 look a little better visually as Cb's
• m16, m18, m20 I'd recommend putting the 2nd voice rests up to the standard rest height, just lines up a bit better in this case with the rest of the note in the voice (as opposed to just having consistent rest height for the whole arrangement).
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]

And in closing, just a few more adjustments to the spacing on page one.
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]

Koopa Troopa Beach
• "Square Enix" in the copyright can be written with just first letters capitalized
Quote• m24 and m32 RH you could move the 1st voice half rest down so it lines up like this:
I don't think this got addressed
• m24 and m32 you could move that 2nd voice, first 8th rest up a little more
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]
•m53-56 you could move the cresc. down a little to ligne up more with the sfz at m56

All minor visual stuff though that can be done before next reviewer, Koopa Troopa Beach has my approval


Fantastic Ike

QuoteI don't think this got addressed
• m24 and m32 you could move that 2nd voice, first 8th rest up a little more

Whoops, I thought I fixed it but I read the original post wrong.

Both should be updated now.

Kricketune54

Okay great. I will now approve Deep Sea Bass, just also make sure before next review to fix m16 and m20 RH 2nd voice. At least on my end the half rest is not hidden and is clipping through the 8th note stems of the first voice.

Fantastic Ike

Oh, now I see it. Tricky to notice, all updated. Thanks!

Latios212

Koopa Troopa Beach

This is looking much nicer than when I initially looked at it. Nice work you and Kricketune for getting this into real good shape! Here's my feedback:
- Double barline at the end of m. 4
- Melody in m. 12 should be a half note
- For m. 12/28, you could remove the E in the offbeat triads to keep it consistent dyads like in the other measures.
- For m. 18/34, how about writing the LH similar to how you have it in m. 12 with the descending bass?
- Beat 2 is flipped down incorrectly in m. 39 RH
- Beat 4.5 RH of m. 44 should also be a third (B underneath instead of A)
- m. 44 is a G chord, and similar comment as above with the triads, so I'd suggest something like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
- Is there a reason you drop the offbeat dyads in the last section?
- In m. 52 I'd suggest restriking the whole chord for a fuller sound, the C up top sounds kind of empty all by itself
- I think the lowest note in the chord in m. 53 should be F instead of E

Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 31, 2024, 07:27:35 AMm48 both hands this section is in the key of Gn. As such, it looks a tad bit cleaner to have sharp accidentals (Db -> C#, Gb -> F#). Let me know if you need a further explanation here
I disagree with this, the descending chromatic movement in the bass would be easier written with flats. The right hand does have a C# that resolves to a Cn in the next bar; writing this as a Db would be weird with the En but this is a case where I'd personally be okay not spelling them the same way in the LH/RH. I think what you have now though is fine if you prefer. Whatever you end up doing though, make sure it's consistent between m. 40-41 and 48-49 since it's the same progression in both places.

Wait, Masayoshi Soken is a composer for this? That's not a name I expected to see for this game lol
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Fantastic Ike

Quote- Is there a reason you drop the offbeat dyads in the last section?

I left them out because...I don't really hear them lol. I could try to add in some implied harmony but I went for accuracy to the song over consistency if that makes sense.

Everything else is updated.

Latios212

Quote from: Fantastic Ike on August 26, 2024, 09:00:32 AMI left them out because...I don't really hear them lol. I could try to add in some implied harmony but I went for accuracy to the song over consistency if that makes sense.
Hm that makes sense, but I feel like the accompaniment texture as a whole is still similar in that last section. I think it would make sense to keep it consistent throughout the piece especially since the piece is building to a climax at the end. How would you feel about that?

All the other changes look good!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Fantastic Ike

QuoteHm that makes sense, but I feel like the accompaniment texture as a whole is still similar in that last section. I think it would make sense to keep it consistent throughout the piece especially since the piece is building to a climax at the end. How would you feel about that?

Sure! I still can't really hear any actual offbeat harmony in that segment, but made some educated guesses for the bassline. Let me know how it looks!

Updated.

Latios212

Looks great! The last thing I have to say is that the left hand of m. 51 should outline A minor instead of F major (e.g. how measure 5 is written).
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Fantastic Ike


Latios212

Fantastic! Koopa Troopa Beach is now accepted!

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Bloop

Deep Sea Bass (Coral Riff)
-m1: Maybe instead of "2x" you could write "2nd time", as 2x implies "2 times". You could also just put "2nd time only" above the note and add parentheses around the notehead.
-m6: L.H. beat 2.5 should have its stem flipped (make sure the accent stays below though)
-m15 and 19: I hear Dn instead of Db in the R.H. Also, in m19, maybe you could add a courtesy accidental (maybe without parentheses) to the Bb, so the player's sure we have a Bn and Bb in one chord here.
-m23 and 27: I hear Bb instead of Bn in the R.H.

Fantastic Ike


Bloop