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Author Topic: [DELETED] [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264  (Read 1671 times)

Zeta

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[DELETED] [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« on: December 10, 2015, 05:15:10 AM »

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Undertale
Console: PC
Title: Snowdin Town
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: braixen1264
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braix

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Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

Zeila

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2015, 06:53:15 AM »

Feedback:
  • Some of the 8vas are overlapping with the staff. Since the entire 1st staff has 8va over it, you should just change the clef to an 8va treble clef (it has an 8 on the top)
  • Some slurs would be nice (particularly where the 32nd note pattern is)
  • Some notes were wrong. For example, m14 where you have the left hand playing octaves, the bottom note on the 2nd off beat should be a C (same with the other occurences). In m16, the bottom notes should be Ab-C-E-C / Bb-D-F-D
  • Some harmonies are missing. m5 has a Gb in it as well I believe. m9, 13, 17, 22-end have a few missing notes/harmonies. For the last two measures, they're present in the left hand (well technically you could play them with the right hand too, but it makes more sense to place it in the 2nd staff)
  • Maybe put a D.C. at the end. Your choice
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mastersuperfan

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2015, 09:05:07 PM »

Some of the 8vas are overlapping with the staff. Since the entire 1st staff has 8va over it, you should just change the clef to an 8va treble clef (it has an 8 on the top)

Not permitted.
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

braix

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2015, 01:46:37 AM »

Feedback:
  • In m16, the bottom notes should be Ab-C-E-C / Bb-D-F-D
  • Some harmonies are missing. m5 has a Gb in it as well I believe.
I tried these notes, but it doesn't really sound...right.

  • Some notes were wrong. For example, m14 where you have the left hand playing octaves, the bottom note on the 2nd off beat should be a C (same with the other occurences).
Also I can't hear this in the original but it's probably just my ears. I'd like someone else with good ears to confirm it for me before I change it.
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Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

mastersuperfan

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2015, 05:47:30 AM »

I tried these notes, but it doesn't really sound...right.
Also I can't hear this in the original but it's probably just my ears. I'd like someone else with good ears to confirm it for me before I change it.

Zeila's correct in all three of those.

I think the 32nd-note pattern should be a mordent instead.

The tempo is closer to 102 than 103.

In m2, use a bracket to indicate that it's the 2nd-layer notes being played by the right hand, and then put r.h. on the left side of the bracket. I'm sure there are some examples on the site, but I don't know any off the top of my head.

Change the two eighth rests in m2 to a quarter rest.

Flip the stem of the notes in layer 1, beat 3 in m2.

...Why is the half rest missing in m7?

Everything at the top is conflicting; move the staves down to give the top more space. 1st ending and tempo marking are conflicting with the 8va.

Where's the 2nd ending in m5?

I think it might actually be a better idea simply to write out m1-3 again instead of using the repeat with the two endings; it's only 3 measures, the repeat and endings create extra formatting complexity, and it allows you to use a repeat at the end of the piece.

URL is incorrect; should have a www in there as well.

The 8va in the last line is conflicting with the notes; increase the spacing between the staves.

In m4 and m5, the quarter note and half notes on the 2nd offbeat should be eighth notes tied to an eighth/half note.

Left hand rhythms in m22-m27 should be rewritten as (dotted quarter) - (eighth tied to quarter) - (quarter).

Clef is conflicting with notes in m21 left hand; to get rid of this, just click on a note in that measure in Finale 2014, and it should automatically respace itself.

Dynamic marking in m22 is conflicting with note; move it down.

As Zeila said, there are missing harmonies in the aforementioned measures; try to find those.

Not sure if this is some personal preference or anything, but I don't really like seeing forward repeat bars on m1. It's redundant and doesn't look very appealing to me. Sheets have been accepted with it, though, so I guess it's technically not incorrect.

I didn't check much of the musical transcription itself, just what Zeila pointed out.
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

braix

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2015, 09:23:12 PM »

Zeila's correct in all three of those.

I think the 32nd-note pattern should be a mordent instead.

The tempo is closer to 102 than 103.

In m2, use a bracket to indicate that it's the 2nd-layer notes being played by the right hand, and then put r.h. on the left side of the bracket. I'm sure there are some examples on the site, but I don't know any off the top of my head.

Change the two eighth rests in m2 to a quarter rest.

Flip the stem of the notes in layer 1, beat 3 in m2.

...Why is the half rest missing in m7?

Everything at the top is conflicting; move the staves down to give the top more space. 1st ending and tempo marking are conflicting with the 8va.

Where's the 2nd ending in m5?

I think it might actually be a better idea simply to write out m1-3 again instead of using the repeat with the two endings; it's only 3 measures, the repeat and endings create extra formatting complexity, and it allows you to use a repeat at the end of the piece.

URL is incorrect; should have a www in there as well.

The 8va in the last line is conflicting with the notes; increase the spacing between the staves.

In m4 and m5, the quarter note and half notes on the 2nd offbeat should be eighth notes tied to an eighth/half note.

Left hand rhythms in m22-m27 should be rewritten as (dotted quarter) - (eighth tied to quarter) - (quarter).

Clef is conflicting with notes in m21 left hand; to get rid of this, just click on a note in that measure in Finale 2014, and it should automatically respace itself.

Dynamic marking in m22 is conflicting with note; move it down.

As Zeila said, there are missing harmonies in the aforementioned measures; try to find those.

Not sure if this is some personal preference or anything, but I don't really like seeing forward repeat bars on m1. It's redundant and doesn't look very appealing to me. Sheets have been accepted with it, though, so I guess it's technically not incorrect.


I didn't check much of the musical transcription itself, just what Zeila pointed out.
Feedback:
  • Some of the 8vas are overlapping with the staff. Since the entire 1st staff has 8va over it, you should just change the clef to an 8va treble clef (it has an 8 on the top)
  • Some slurs would be nice (particularly where the 32nd note pattern is)
  • Some notes were wrong. For example, m14 where you have the left hand playing octaves, the bottom note on the 2nd off beat should be a C (same with the other occurences). In m16, the bottom notes should be Ab-C-E-C / Bb-D-F-D
  • Some harmonies are missing. m5 has a Gb in it as well I believe. m9, 13, 17, 22-end have a few missing notes/harmonies. For the last two measures, they're present in the left hand (well technically you could play them with the right hand too, but it makes more sense to place it in the 2nd staff)
  • Maybe put a D.C. at the end. Your choice
Striking these through as I go, to keep myself organized
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Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2015, 01:13:16 AM »

Btw; generally speaking, don't use odd numbered BPMs. The reason being, the role of BPM is to give you the speed; you get this by finding how long of a minute each measure takes (a decimal of some sort).
Since, in this case, 102=1m, you use algebra to find overall speed of the song....
or something like that.
Tl;dr- Use evenly numbered BPM because it makes the speed smoother
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what is shitpost

mastersuperfan

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2015, 01:36:30 AM »

Also, put a rit. in m4.

There are some missing sixteenth-note rhythms in the left hand of m9 and m17.

Additionally, I was mistaken--the eighth rests in m2 should probably be kept as such.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2015, 01:39:15 AM by mastersuperfan »
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Olimar12345

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Re: [PC] Undertale - "Snowdin Town" by braixen1264
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2015, 05:30:56 AM »

With this now being an official project, EVERYONE REMOVE YOUR UNDERTALE SUBMISSIONS AND INSTEAD POST THEM HERE.

Free up your submissions for other pieces and get your Undertale arrangements all in one spot here:

http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?topic=7974.0
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