[NDS] Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version - "Eterna City (Night)" by FireArrow

Started by Zeta, July 07, 2016, 04:17:09 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Eterna City (Night)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: FireArrow

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FireArrow


btw huge shoutout to latios for many helps
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

daj

ikr latios is amazing <3

Ahem! Anyway.



Hahaha! So much yes. I love this piece, and your arrangement definitely does it justice. :) The notes are accurate as far as my memory serves me, and - thank you so much for this, by the way - you realised the 6/8 time.

A little bit on 6/8 time - when I first listened to the track I immediately thought "2/4 swing", but then I thought about the accuracy of notation and all the flourishes that could only be scored in compound time. And you nailed that part, so that's great :)

I'll just run through your score and lay down some first impressions:

Mm, I don't completely agree with the way you score the left hand in the first section from b. 1-17. I'm talking about the fifths on the offbeats. The original uses only single notes. Erm, I guess scoring it this way is good for harmonic support, but my concern is that it naturally stresses the offbeats more than the downbeats. Which isn't too tasteful in a track like Eterna. I promise cutting most of the off-beat lower notes will make it sound smoother; in fact, I'll see if I can do a quick video to better illustrate this.

b. 11 got me raising an eyebrow at first, but I realised how that was the best way to notate it such that it would be closest to the original. It's good!~

In b. 21-25 I think you don't need to use your right hand for the lower stave chords. Yes, it crosses over, buuuut I would probably still use my left hand anyway. After all, it's better for melodic continuity. :) Think we can get rid of the RH markings here~

Would cut the lower notes in the offbeats in b. 24 bt 2! See the first point~

b. 27 is a little messy. Think it would make a little more sense to use a 8vb in the LH instead of a crossover~

For b. 30 bt 2 try to cut some notes, because the accents aren't in the right place :p

Note tail in b. 31! Haha.

I think b. 39 is an exact transcription, which is good! But it might not get the effect you want. Consider bringing the C on the third quaver beat an octave higher or changing it to an E just so the lower part can be sustained.

b. 40 is brilliant <3

b. 47-56 are also brilliant <3

Bassline of b. 57 to the ending: refer to my first point! ^^

Also, on b. 61 the "a tempo" is conventionally placed above the system~



And that's all the comments I have for now! I will almost definitely be learning this once it's submitted, it's too amazing to pass up. You've done a good job with the transcription and you have some good arrangement decisions! ^^ Just wanted to point out a bunch of pianistic elements and minor organisation fixes, otherwise we're good to go :)

FireArrow

Wow you're amazing, this is some sexy feedback. Updated with most of your changes (anything I didn't respond to I complied without question ;3.)

Quote from: dajwxp on July 09, 2016, 01:22:30 AMMm, I don't completely agree with the way you score the left hand in the first section from b. 1-17. I'm talking about the fifths on the offbeats. The original uses only single notes. Erm, I guess scoring it this way is good for harmonic support, but my concern is that it naturally stresses the offbeats more than the downbeats. Which isn't too tasteful in a track like Eterna. I promise cutting most of the off-beat lower notes will make it sound smoother; in fact, I'll see if I can do a quick video to better illustrate this.

Totally with you on this. Those notes were a last minute addition becuase I noticed them when I was listening through to original one more time, but I kinda regretted putting them in. I took out the majority of the 5ths but I left it em in a few places where I think they work well.

QuoteWould cut the lower notes in the offbeats in b. 24 bt 2! See the first point~

Eh, I disagree. Though I'll change it if more people agree with you.

QuoteFor b. 30 bt 2 try to cut some notes, because the accents aren't in the right place :p

I cut some notes but it was so hard to decide ;-; I felt like all the notes were important harmonically but that thick heavy chord just sounded off.

QuoteI think b. 39 is an exact transcription, which is good! But it might not get the effect you want. Consider bringing the C on the third quaver beat an octave higher or changing it to an E just so the lower part can be sustained.

I just brought the two voices into one voice and dropped the sustained note. Imo: accuracy of tonality > accuracy of note length.
Quoteb. 40 is brilliant <3

b. 47-56 are also brilliant <3

That part took me forever I'm so glad you like it <3
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

daj

Quote from: FireArrow on July 09, 2016, 02:50:26 PMWow you're amazing

and so are you :3

Quote(first 17 bars)
Totally with you on this. Those notes were a last minute addition becuase I noticed them when I was listening through to original one more time, but I kinda regretted putting them in. I took out the majority of the 5ths but I left it em in a few places where I think they work well.

Nice! That cleans it up a lot :)

...though, I think I'd like to try to convince you to cut more. I'm thinking real minimal - cutting until only the strong beats are truly accented (and harmonically supported), so that more of the harmonic sustain is done using pedal (kinda like the original?). Check your inbox for some videos in around seven hours, hehe :)

Quote(b. 24 bt 2)
Eh, I disagree. Though I'll change it if more people agree with you.

Erm, I'll play through this prt in the video too! If anything, it can help both of us make a better choice ^^

Quote(b. 30 bt 2)
I cut some notes but it was so hard to decide ;-; I felt like all the notes were important harmonically but that thick heavy chord just sounded off.

Bwahahaa that's what you get for spamming texture in the first place bwahahahahahahaaaa never do it againnnn
(nah, this doesnt apply all the time)

Think it should be okay now! :)

Quote(b. 39)
I just brought the two voices into one voice and dropped the sustained note. Imo: accuracy of tonality > accuracy of note length.

Ooh, now that might get a little controversial. Hehe.

Now that you've written it this way, the phrasing is a little off. It seems (to performers) that the phrase goes all the way up to the high E, when it really ends on the second quaver beat. So if you intend to keep accuracy of your notes over, basically, making it more ~pianistic~, then I think you could go back to the original way you notated it. ^^ I don't completely agree with it buuuut you don't have to completely agree with me! And rght now since no one really agrees wth this we could just revert back to the original haha~

Quote(last section)
That part took me forever I'm so glad you like it <3

and i'm glad it took you forever (:< *cue evil laugh*

Haha, effort shows. ^^ Why'd you think I chose to give so much juice into this arrangement anyway? ^^ A good arrangement is one that you put in lots of hard work and thought for, and a good arrangement deserves all the support it demands :)

edit: errrm gimme some extra time for the vids please ^^;. might have forgotten bout them.

FireArrow

Discussed over skype. Changes withheld for super sneeky reasons.
Changed m. 39 back tho.
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department


Maelstrom


FireArrow

submitted before arrangment project started and I'd rather get this on site asap rather than wait for an entire project to finish
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Pianist Da Sootopolis

Any particular reason for having the dotted quarter value restated at M. 65?
what is shitpost

FireArrow

Oh, before I put a fermatta in there there was a tempo mark. Lemme go fix that.
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Maelstrom

Quote from: FireArrow on July 18, 2016, 07:47:24 PMsubmitted before arrangment project started and I'd rather get this on site asap rather than wait for an entire project to finish
No problem then.

JDMEK5

"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Zeta