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[DELETED] [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore

Started by Zeta, September 06, 2016, 12:47:01 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Air Fortress
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Evacuation
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: JacopoTore

WaluigiTime64

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WaluigiTime64

Nice, you were quick on that. A few things though:
 - Octave clefs aren't allowed on NinSheetMusic. I think it's because those are usually used for other instruments, not piano. Use an ottava (8va) instead.
 - This might be in a different time signature, considering the amount of triplets. Possibly 12/8, doubling the note values and the tempo (because 75bpm is a bit slow).
 - The measures are quite far away from the title (and other text at the top). They should be moved up.
 - In "X18", it should be the same font and size as the other dynamic markings, and (this is a bit personal) maybe it should be a lowercase X (x18).
 - Also if the volume is going to increase, maybe it shouldn't start with forte.

I can't check for notes right now, but I think they're all good! You should be able to get this done quick.
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Yug_Guy

Quote from: WaluigiTime64 on September 06, 2016, 02:13:12 PM- In "X18", it should be the same font and size as the other dynamic markings, and (this is a bit personal) maybe it should be a lowercase X (x18).
I don't think the "X18" is even necessary at all. It sounds like that particular phrase just repeats over and over, without a set number of loops. I'd recommend just setting the number of repeats to the default, maybe add a "repeat ad infinitum" if you really want to drive the point home. Of course, I haven't played this game, so it could be a set number of loops for all I know. 

Quote from: WaluigiTime64 on September 06, 2016, 02:13:12 PM- This might be in a different time signature, considering the amount of triplets. Possibly 12/8, doubling the note values and the tempo (because 75bpm is a bit slow).
Yeah, it sounds like it should be in 12/8 to me as well.

WaluigiTime64

Quote from: Yug_Guy on September 06, 2016, 02:53:42 PMI don't think the "X18" is even necessary at all. It sounds like that particular phrase just repeats over and over, without a set number of loops. I'd recommend just setting the number of repeats to the default, maybe add a "repeat ad infinitum" if you really want to drive the point home. Of course, I haven't played this game, so it could be a set number of loops for all I know.
Yeah, I guess "repeat ad infinitum" is more appropriate.
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JacopoTore

Replaced.

Quote from: Yug_Guy on September 06, 2016, 02:53:42 PMIt sounds like that particular phrase just repeats over and over

No, the level must be completed after 18 repetitions.

Quote from: WaluigiTime64 on September 06, 2016, 02:13:12 PM- Also if the volume is going to increase, maybe it shouldn't start with forte.

Not exactly, the volume does not increase, only the noise increase.

WaluigiTime64

Looks much better now! The only problem I'm seeing (which is a big problem, by the way) is that the Tempo Marking is missing. I assume the tempo marking should be "Dotted Quarter Note = 150", but I might be wrong.
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JacopoTore

Right. I miss 8va marks to, I think I replace in 2 or 3 hours.

WaluigiTime64

Ok, just two things:
 - The tempo marking doesn't seem to be working.
 - It's "Arrangement by ..." or "Arranged by ...", not transcription.
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JDMEK5

To add my thoughts:

-Measures 1,3; Left Hand: Olimar and I have a pet peeve against having two (or more) augmentation dots performing opposite functions on the same note. I refer here to having the augmentation dot in effect on a note that is indicated to be played staccato. These have counterproductive effects on each other and is very strange. I'm assuming the note isn't supposed to be as long as a standard dotted quarter, so I would suggest either (a) get rid of the augmentation dot thus lowering the note value to either a quarter or an eighth, keeping the staccato; or (b) do shorten the note value as aforementioned but also eliminate the staccato. Depends on how long you want that note to be.
-Systems 2-3, Right Hand: Rather than use two separate 8va markings (one for each line), lay down the one on system two, click anywhere else on the page, then drag the end of the 8va first to the end of the system then down to the next system without letting go of the mouse button. The result should be an 8va on both systems with the second line of it being in parentheses, and thus a continuation of the original.
-Measure 5: Rather than "gradually increase the noise", I would put "crescendo slightly with each repetition". This is most likely just a translation thing.
-Measure 5, Left Hand: The dotted half rest should be split into two dotted quarter rests.

Finally, regarding the "x18", if I understand the scenario properly, then in the game the player has only the temporal equivalent to 18 track repetitions to beat the level before they run out of time. If that's the case, I would suggest taking it out altogether because that reasoning could also be applied to Super Mario Bros. where there's a set time limit (and thus a set number of repetitions). But you aren't arranging the game's sounds. You're arranging a piece of music that was used for the game. The piece of music itself is probably very capable of continuing on past the game's time limit. Of course, if I'm wrong, then we'll have to do something different.
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Latios212

Quote from: JDMEK5 on September 14, 2016, 10:49:20 AM-Measures 1,3; Left Hand: Olimar and I have a pet peeve against having two (or more) augmentation dots performing opposite functions on the same note. (...)
Staccato'd dotted notes bug me to no end. Here you should leave it as a regular eighth, seeing as it's the same as the other eighths you have in the LH.

Quote from: JDMEK5 on September 14, 2016, 10:49:20 AM-Measure 5: Rather than "gradually increase the noise", I would put "crescendo slightly with each repetition". This is most likely just a translation thing.
If I understand the text correctly it's referring to the rumbling noise in the background, in which case I'd recommend just taking it out since it's not part of the music.

I second everything else mentioned above.
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
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turtle

JacopoTore

Quote from: JDMEK5 on September 14, 2016, 10:49:20 AMTo add my thoughts:

-Measures 1,3; Left Hand: Olimar and I have a pet peeve against having two (or more) augmentation dots performing opposite functions on the same note. I refer here to having the augmentation dot in effect on a note that is indicated to be played staccato. These have counterproductive effects on each other and is very strange. I'm assuming the note isn't supposed to be as long as a standard dotted quarter, so I would suggest either (a) get rid of the augmentation dot thus lowering the note value to either a quarter or an eighth, keeping the staccato; or (b) do shorten the note value as aforementioned but also eliminate the staccato. Depends on how long you want that note to be.
-Systems 2-3, Right Hand: Rather than use two separate 8va markings (one for each line), lay down the one on system two, click anywhere else on the page, then drag the end of the 8va first to the end of the system then down to the next system without letting go of the mouse button. The result should be an 8va on both systems with the second line of it being in parentheses, and thus a continuation of the original.
-Measure 5: Rather than "gradually increase the noise", I would put "crescendo slightly with each repetition". This is most likely just a translation thing.
-Measure 5, Left Hand: The dotted half rest should be split into two dotted quarter rests.

Finally, regarding the "x18", if I understand the scenario properly, then in the game the player has only the temporal equivalent to 18 track repetitions to beat the level before they run out of time. If that's the case, I would suggest taking it out altogether because that reasoning could also be applied to Super Mario Bros. where there's a set time limit (and thus a set number of repetitions). But you aren't arranging the game's sounds. You're arranging a piece of music that was used for the game. The piece of music itself is probably very capable of continuing on past the game's time limit. Of course, if I'm wrong, then we'll have to do something different.

Of course everything is clear and I changed everything I could, but I repeat that only grows the noise not the music ... unfortunately the noise is part of the music ... so something grows during the time ... Super Mario Bros does not increase climaxes in music, in that case, if I remember correctly increases the speed of the song, and thus have used two different tracks. Instead, in this case the noise is always different and increases in random manner or in any case is part of the same music. Of course, if I'm wrong, then we'll have to do something different.
Thank you for everything!

(Btw say that the noise is not part of the music is a nineteenth century phrase: P )

Latios212

Alright if you want to get technical, what I meant to say is that the background noise is not a part of the music that you have adapted to the piano (read: not written as notes in the staff). So, what is that direction supposed to indicate to the performer? Play the notes louder to increase tension (even though that's not what happens in the original)? Make random noises by vocalizing?

I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at here; a performer should easily figure out what to do given just the sheet.
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

JacopoTore

Quote from: Latios212 on September 14, 2016, 03:48:58 PMAlright if you want to get technical, what I meant to say is that the background noise is not a part of the music that you have adapted to the piano (read: not written as notes in the staff). So, what is that direction supposed to indicate to the performer? Play the notes louder to increase tension (even though that's not what happens in the original)? Make random noises by vocalizing?

I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at here; a performer should easily figure out what to do given just the sheet.

The performer is a job much more difficult than the arranger