[DELETED] [GBA] Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version - "Oldale Town" (Replacement) by dajwxp

Started by Zeta, August 13, 2017, 12:09:20 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Oldale Town
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: dajwxp


Replacement Information:

Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)


Sebastian

A couple things I noticed right away. The PDF of the first page is somewhat cut off at the bottom. Also, you don't have a second page title.



daj

Quote from: Sebastian on August 13, 2017, 05:40:14 AMA couple things I noticed right away. The PDF of the first page is somewhat cut off at the bottom. Also, you don't have a second page title.

...well then. This is embarassing. xD

So that's what they meant with that whole "print size is different" thing. My bad, my bad ^^;

I'll fix it in a bit! ^^

Olimar12345

-I'm not a fan of how this grew to two pages. The on-site one is proof that it can be done on one page. (I'm also not too big of a fan of the added ending if it means it must have two pages...)
-What's with the "sing" in the first measure? Do you really want performers to sing the melody instead of play it on the piano? If you're using that as a means to indicate a stylistic thing, I'd recommend changing it to "song-like" or something clearer.
-Your first system needs to be indented to accommodate the "piano" text.
-There is no copyright info present.
-Like said above, there is no second page title present.
-Measure 8 has a staccato in the RH that is flipped for no reason.
-Due to the scaling of your sheet, all of the text looks way too small. I would recommend leveling out your staff size with your page size so that it looks more balanced.
Visit my site: VGM Sheet Music by Olimar12345 ~ Quality VGM sheet music available for free!

JDMEK5

Quote from: Olimar12345 on August 31, 2017, 12:09:22 PM-What's with the "sing" in the first measure? Do you really want performers to sing the melody instead of play it on the piano? If you're using that as a means to indicate a stylistic thing, I'd recommend changing it to "song-like" or something clearer.
"Cantabile". ftfy
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
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Olimar12345

Visit my site: VGM Sheet Music by Olimar12345 ~ Quality VGM sheet music available for free!

Maelstrom


Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Maelstrom


Olimar12345

Visit my site: VGM Sheet Music by Olimar12345 ~ Quality VGM sheet music available for free!