[NDS] Pokémon Black Version 2 & Pokémon White Version 2 - "Aspertia City" by Trasdegi

Started by Zeta, September 02, 2017, 12:06:33 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Black Version 2 & Pokémon White Version 2
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Aspertia City
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Trasdegi

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Latios212

Good choice of song. One of my favorites from the gen 5 era.

First things first:
- Large chords in the middle of page 2 have to go. Maybe bump the bottom note up an octave so it's between the others.
- Watch your articulation in a lot of places. Putting staccatos on two tied sixteenth notes doesn't make any sense.
- If you want the LH to be in treble clef at the beginning, then do so at the end as well for consistency.
- The dynamic can just go in between the staves at the beginning.

More to come later.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
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turtle

Trasdegi

Updated the files with above changes, except the last one: finale notepad can't do that and it disappears somewhere in the musicxml conversion

FireArrow

You're missing a lot of counterpoint and harmonies D:

You can always make the choice to leave it out but I'd really reccomend trying to get some of that in there.
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Trasdegi

Well, I've got a two pianos version of this one in my PAT, could you tell me if the counterpoint and harmonies are all in this one, or if you're thinking of something else? I think I will try to add more in the solo version, but I don't want to make it unplayable, the two pianos version is here for that purpose :P

daj

Quote from: FireArrow on September 08, 2017, 02:02:10 PMYou're missing a lot of counterpoint and harmonies D:

You can always make the choice to leave it out but I'd really reccomend trying to get some of that in there.

I'd argue against adding any more stuff! :p The difficulty of arranging this track is that it's got a very simple melody, very simple harmonies, but ultra-intricate rhythmic layering. I wouldn't say there's counterpoint in this: rather, there's lots of melodic flourishes (especially at the tails of phrases) and distinctive ostinatos/loops.

Trasdegi has chosen to keep the integrity of the melody and the basic rhythm of the bass line intact, which cuts all the rhythmic layers in between (namely the snare pattern) and sacrifices a few nice flourishes. I think that's okay ^^

...in fact, I've actually been watching this arrangement progress from the requests thread to here, and I'm very certain that what Trasdegi has now is as intricate as it should get. It was...a lot scarier when it started out. xD Beyond this point, adding any more stuff, I think, would destroy the simplicity of the melody, and if that was the aim of the arrangement all along, let's not compromise that~

From the point of view of someone who reeeaally wants to play and record this live, this arrangement is tough, but workable. Some bits like jumping from octave melodies to middle-voice flourishes within the range of a semiquaver/sixteenth-note are really tough and need deliberate work, but in the end, this is learnable. And much more learnable than the first version I saw and didn't know how to comment on.

Personally, I think the arrangement itself is about as good as it gets - either way I suppose it's too late to change the direction of the arrangement entirely. Maybe it's best to just focus on the formatting stuff now. Just my opinion ^^



As an aside, you bet I'll be learning this and recording it! :) It's one of those tracks I always wanted to do, but was too lazy to properly analyse. Can't wait to see this on-site~

Latios212

Quote from: daj on September 08, 2017, 04:01:19 PMAs an aside, you bet I'll be learning this and recording it! :) It's one of those tracks I always wanted to do, but was too lazy to properly analyse. Can't wait to see this on-site~
Hey wait until I help Trasdegi finish ironing it out first! ;)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Trasdegi

I think I'll leave it like that, because adding more would really complicate it a lot. Now I just need some feedback on the formatting, enharmonics etc.

FireArrow

Maybe go over and choose different harmonies/voices to include if you're afraid of making things too difficult. Some parts just sound off, an example being the build up from measures 6 to 7 which doesn't come across in your arrangement (which comes from the melodic direction of the counter melody + the addition of more voices in 7.) Speaking of measure numbers you need those.

Also sorry if I sound condesending you've got a good arrangement here! I just tend to sound like a dick when I'm critiquing sheets.
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Trasdegi

I updated the files with reworked measures 7-8, please tell me if these changes are worth the playability decrease, or if the previous version was better

Trasdegi



Latios212

Sorry for the wait - [this file] contains the page 1 fixes we talked about on Discord a long time ago, as well as some page 2 fixes I've made just now.

As a refresher:
- LH arpeggios lowered an octave.
- Addition of some countermelody/harmony in m. 3-6.
- Revamping of the buildup section from 9-10.

Stuff I've done just now:
- Layout: fit it on two pages.
- Articulations - many of these staccatos were awkwardly placed, like on dotted eighth notes. I tried removing some unnecessary ones.
- Adjusted some chords in the B section, most notably m. 18.
- Added just a bit to the right hand to fill up some awkward-sounding gaps at the beginning of m. 11, 21, 23.
- General visual cleanup, particularly with the layers in m. 12-14.

I didn't touch the arrangement much at all - just a bit of polishing. Nearly all the notes were correct and the parts are generally laid out in a way that's playable piano. Nice work.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Trasdegi

Thanks! I edited the submission with your file, I just modified a little thing:I inverted the chord at m.23, because that's how I have it in my two-pianos version, and it does a better build-up (I think).