[SNES] Kirby Super Star - "Mine Cart Riding" by ThatHiddenCharacter

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby Super Star
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Mine Cart Riding
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ThatHiddenCharacter

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[Olimar12345]

[Latios212]

- Intro needs staccatos in the left hand. Actually, I would suggest them on all the single bass notes throughout.
- Is there a reason the chord inversion changes between m. 3-4 and 7-8?
- The left hand part in m. 11-14 is impractical to play. I would suggest simplifying it a bit; when you have the consecutive 16th note chords that are difficult to play in succession, try playing the low note on the first and the top two notes on the second. It doesn't lose much sound, but it a lot easier to play.
- Check where those chords are coming from at the end of m. 14. The melody definitely goes F-Bb-B.

More to come later.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

I updated the files. Woo? Yeah, woo. Woo!

[Olimar12345]

Lets finish this up.

-Measure 6 the LH chords should be D-F-Ab (not G#). Same at measure 10.
-Your voicing in the LH chords in general is inconsistent. Measure 3 and measure 7have the same thing but you voice the third up an octave in measure 7. Imo it sounds better up an octave, at the expense of being slightly more challenging to play. I'd opt for the lower octave.
-The F's on beat four in measures 5, 6 etc. would work better 8vb.
-RH measure 3 (and 7) up-beat of two should not have a tenuto. It is staccato like the rest of the eighth notes.
-RH in 10 is incorrect. The pitches should be D-Eb-F-Bb-F-Bb-F (trill).
-The arpeggios in measures 15, 16, and 17 are incorrect.
-measures 11-14 have the 7th as the lowest voice instead of the root like in the recording, making it sound really wrong. I would recommend putting the root in the bass and adding the 7th on top.
-I'd recommend adding slurs to up-beat of four going to 1 throughout measures 11-14.
-Make the eighth note on beat three or measure 14 into an eighth rest.
-Turn the two sixteenth note Bb's in the RH (14) into the full chord used on beat 1 of that measure.
-The three eighth notes at the end of the measure in 14 (both hands) are in octaves/unison, not in harmony.
-Up-beat of two is long in 18 (both hands).
-C in the RH up-beat of two measure 18 should be a D.
-The last measure needed a lot of tlc, so rather than list off what to do, check out the file below.
-Tempo should be quicker. q = 176
-11-14 should be more separated.

Here is a file containing all of these changes and more. Check it out:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/x7erxeyrr27dw84/Kirby%20Super%20Star%20-%20Mine%20Cart%20Riding12345.mus?dl=1

[Olimar12345]

THC gave me permission to update the files on this, so we're good now.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Olimar12345.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot