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[DELETED] [PC] Doki Doki Literature Club! - "Okay Everyone! (Natsuki)" by BrainyLucario

Started by Zeta, January 17, 2018, 02:44:38 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Doki Doki Literature Club!
Console: PC
Title: Okay Everyone! (Natsuki)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: BrainyLucario

[attachment deleted by admin]

BrainyLucario

When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

BrainyLucario

Nvm, I fixed the formatting errors using a template sheet. Those things are life-savers
When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

Yug_Guy

QuoteDon Salvato
Now, listen kid; I like you, but if ya don't start acting like you know how to be with other people... well, let's just say your waifu gets the knifu, capiche?

Yeah, this definitely needs a bit of work. My suggestions are as follows:
  • You should probably change the staff in the L.H. to treble clef. As it stands now, you got way too many ledger lines going on.
  • m.9 (among others) - The second voice should be quarter rest, eighth rest, quarter note, eighth note tied to a dotted quarter note, quarter rest, eighth note.
  • m.11-12 (among others) - stems should be flipped in the R.H.
DDLC arrangement project when?

BrainyLucario

Done to my limit. I can't change the bass clef to treble in Notepad though, so that's still wrong until someone helps me with that

I can't believe I missed that typo

When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

Yug_Guy


BrainyLucario

When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

BrainyLucario

When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

F. L. U. D. D.

E. Gadd for Mayor 2018
"Maybe someday, he'll invent something that doesn't suck."

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BrainyLucario

When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

F. L. U. D. D.

E. Gadd for Mayor 2018
"Maybe someday, he'll invent something that doesn't suck."

Spoiler
[close]

mastersuperfan

Before this sheet goes anywhere, you need to do a lot of work with the rhythm grouping. Since the sheet is in 12/8, all rhythms have to be grouped accordingly with the three subdivisions per beat. This means that places like m5, m6, m9, and m12, where in the RH you have an eighth note starting on the third subdivision on a beat and extending over into the first subdivision of the next beat, are a big no-no; this need to be written as two eighth notes tied together instead. Rests also need to be regrouped into subdivisions of three (dotted quarter rest, dotted half rest). Examples of other places to fix include:

  • m6: second quarter rest (not first) needs to be changed into two eighth rests (rule of thumb that I've learned is that you can use a quarter rest for the first two subdivisions of a beat but not for the last two)
  • m8: use dotted half rest + quarter rest instead of whole rest
  • m9 and m13, RH: group quarter rest + eighth rest at beginning of measure into dotted quarter rest
  • m11 and m15, RH: group half rest + quarter rest at beginning of measure into dotted half rest
  • m11, RH: quarter tied to eighth on beat 3 should be written as a dotted quarter
  • m12, RH: half note should be written as a dotted quarter tied to an eighth note--and in fact you should probably check the note duration again,
     since it's more likely to be a dotted half or something else in 12/8 time. Don't use a whole rest after it either
  • m10 and m14, RH: those two dotted quarters in each measure need to be eighths tied to quarters
  • m11 and m15, RH: changed tied eighth-half-dotted quarter into tied dotted half-quarter
  • m13, RH: dotted quarter tied to quarter needs to be rewritten as eighth tied to dotted eighth tied to eighth--and you might want to check the note duration on that again since it will look kind of messy like that

I only went through the first page and there's a good chance I didn't find everything. The rest of the sheet suffers from the same problem, so you need to go through each measure with a fine-toothed comb and fix all the rhythm groupings. After that we can start talking notes.

(While you're at it you should probably fix the rest collisions in m40 as well)
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

BrainyLucario

I'll fix it up as soon as I have the time, maybe Saturday. This is my first sheet in 12/8 so I kind of expected the rhythm to be off.
When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.

Latios212

No one's blaming you for getting things wrong when you're new to things, so no need to make excuses. What's important now is spending the time to learn via feedback what you can do better, and to internalize it.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

BrainyLucario

When given the choice between adulting and music, choose music every time.