The NSM Advice Column

[Toby]

I'm so glad you understand Maestro!

[ETFROXX]

I like to think I'm fairly subtle. I don't hit on women all the time or anything. Part of me wanted to wait until I actually decided to date a woman, but I'm tired of keeping it in. I just want to be able to be me. Be like 'hay, dicks are cool, but so are vags'. ...Yeah.

I think if I could get acceptance from my mom, I'd be okay. I think she'd be okay, but I worry telling her will be awkward. But it's just something I feel like I need to do.

[Shadoninja]

I like to think I'm fairly subtle. I don't hit on women all the time or anything. Part of me wanted to wait until I actually decided to date a woman, but I'm tired of keeping it in. I just want to be able to be me. Be like 'hay, dicks are cool, but so are vags'. ...Yeah.

I think if I could get acceptance from my mom, I'd be okay. I think she'd be okay, but I worry telling her will be awkward. But it's just something I feel like I need to do.

I can't imagine how it wouldn't be awkward.

[Kman96]

*Post for Notifications*

Etf, I feel for you. An issue such as sexuality is probably the worst now than it's ever been in American history...What with the hundreds of nutty religious groups against gays of all forms, It's easy to understand why revealing such crucial information would be a hard task.

From what I've seen over the past (almost) year I've been on NSM, I know that you are strong enough to get through whatever reaction is thrown at you. You can do it!

[K-NiGhT]

I started this thread to help others, but it seems that I require some help myself.

Names have been changed to retain anonymity.

So...I have this friend. Let's call him Bob. Bob and I have only been good friends for about a year, but we became instant best friends because we're in a lot of the same stuff and we hate the same people. (Which is everyone)

Anyway, Bob has a girlfriend. Let's call her Jane. Bob and Jane are extremely happy together and plan to marry after they both finish college. They're always together when they're out somewhere.

So you can see my problem right now is third-wheel syndrome. I shouldn't feel that way, cuz I have an amazing girlfriend myself. Problem with that is, she's not in a lot of the activities that I'm in with Bob and Jane. So here I sit. As a third wheel. They invite me to stuff a lot and I love them both as much as I can a best friend, but sometimes they seem kinda irritated.

That's my biggest problem. I feel like I'm in the way with them sometimes, but I don't really like or want to talk to anyone else in my activities because a lot of them are outrageously immature.

Halp. Plz.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

So you can see my problem right now is third-wheel syndrome. I shouldn't feel that way, cuz I have an amazing girlfriend myself. Problem with that is, she's not in a lot of the activities that I'm in with Bob and Jane. So here I sit. As a third wheel. They invite me to stuff a lot and I love them both as much as I can a best friend, but sometimes they seem kinda irritated.

That's my biggest problem. I feel like I'm in the way with them sometimes, but I don't really like or want to talk to anyone else in my activities because a lot of them are outrageously immature.

Halp. Plz.

The third wheel helps keep things stabilized. (bad comparison har har...)

Why don't you tell "Bob" that you feel a bit like a third wheel, and kindly say that you don't want to "interrupt" their activities, or whatever else fits the situation (unless I completely misunderstand this, and they feel a need to invite you to everything?).

[K-NiGhT]

The third wheel helps keep things stabilized. (bad comparison har har...)

Why don't you tell "Bob" that you feel a bit like a third wheel, and kindly say that you don't want to "interrupt" their activities, or whatever else fits the situation (unless I completely misunderstand this, and they feel a need to invite you to everything?).

well, they don't invite me to EVERYTHING. But I am with them at least once every day. And it's not like it's always like this. It's just that sometimes they both seem kinda irritated, and I can't really tell if it's me or if it's something else. And my clinically depressed brain always just assumes it's me.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

well, they don't invite me to EVERYTHING. But I am with them at least once every day. And it's not like it's always like this. It's just that sometimes they both seem kinda irritated, and I can't really tell if it's me or if it's something else. And my clinically depressed brain always just assumes it's me.

If they're irritated at you, why would they still invite you (as in, maybe they aren't irritated at you? :S)? Maybe you should try to communicate a little more (of course, I don't know the complete situation, so I am not aware of everything that's going on)?

[Shadoninja]

I started this thread to help others, but it seems that I require some help myself.

Names have been changed to retain anonymity.

So...I have this friend. Let's call him Bob. Bob and I have only been good friends for about a year, but we became instant best friends because we're in a lot of the same stuff and we hate the same people. (Which is everyone)

Anyway, Bob has a girlfriend. Let's call her Jane. Bob and Jane are extremely happy together and plan to marry after they both finish college. They're always together when they're out somewhere.

So you can see my problem right now is third-wheel syndrome. I shouldn't feel that way, cuz I have an amazing girlfriend myself. Problem with that is, she's not in a lot of the activities that I'm in with Bob and Jane. So here I sit. As a third wheel. They invite me to stuff a lot and I love them both as much as I can a best friend, but sometimes they seem kinda irritated.

That's my biggest problem. I feel like I'm in the way with them sometimes, but I don't really like or want to talk to anyone else in my activities because a lot of them are outrageously immature.

Halp. Plz.

I would take a break from them for a few days.

[SlowPokemon]

well, they don't invite me to EVERYTHING. But I am with them at least once every day. And it's not like it's always like this. It's just that sometimes they both seem kinda irritated, and I can't really tell if it's me or if it's something else. And my clinically depressed brain always just assumes it's me.

There's a very good possibility it is you. Maybe try giving them some space? I'm familiar with the third wheel thing and it isn't fun, because you want to spend time with your friend yet don't know if they find you annoying. Maybe try only hanging out with him when he's not with his girlfriend for a while, or hanging out with different people and not going out of your way to talk to them.

[Toby]

Don't talk to them via facebook, text, or anything like that unless they start the chat.

If you meet up with them, give a polite hi or something but then see if bob or jane make some conversation, if they do, they like you, if not they aren't too bothered.

[Ruto]

Why do they need to be with each other all the time? They can do that when they're married...maybe they're bored without you around?

(Off topic but I think there was a really old topic like this somewhere xD)

[Shadoninja]

Why do they need to be with each other all the time? They can do that when they're married...maybe they're bored without you around?

Being judgemental again, eh?

[K-NiGhT]

There's a very good possibility it is you. Maybe try giving them some space? I'm familiar with the third wheel thing and it isn't fun, because you want to spend time with your friend yet don't know if they find you annoying. Maybe try only hanging out with him when he's not with his girlfriend for a while, or hanging out with different people and not going out of your way to talk to them.

that's a problem. they are literally always together. the only exception is when they don't have a class together.

I would take a break from them for a few days.

That sounds like a pretty good idea, actually. I'll do that.

[Winter]

Wow, things have changed..