Relationships

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

I didn't say that, I said that even if they ARE interested in a relationship in the future, you should still respect their fucking wishes for the time being and not continue to hold out for something that MIGHT happen.

Right here:

Oops, must have glanced over that part. Sorry. I know that a person shouldn't hold out onto something like that. It's always important to respect others' wishes in any instance. Except if it's about suicide and they don't want you to tell anyone. Then you should probably tell someone.

[Zunawe]

Actually I just now saw this. I would like to mention that I do not act upon anything. Everything I post here is something that she did and me being hopeful. Now I try to look at her as a friend and can see that within her actions, but I also see the things she does that seems different than the way she acts with literally everybody else. That is why I sometimes think maybe she does like me more than just "friends". But even if I did date her, I'd still treat her like a friend (the way I treat her now) which is probably why I see things that might mean a relationship on her side.

Thoughts and actions aren't independent. Regardless of the literal actions she takes, your interpretation needs to avoid this "hopeful" thing. I get that us saying it doesn't make it easy, but you need to just forget the romantic part. Honestly, it sounds like you guys have a chance at a really good friendship. But if you've got this secret agenda (and you can't deny that exists; even if aren't directly acting on it), you're just going to insult her and mess up an awesome friendship.

Holy crap quadruple ninja.

And again.

[cashwarrior1]

Cashwarrior I know you're not actively trying to be sexist or creepy, but you need to recognize that as a man you will never have to deal with a LOT of things that women go through every day of their lives. It's not a personal slight, it's literally the way things are. You're subconsciously objectifying your friend. All we're trying to do is tell you that you need to think more about your behavior and recognize why it's a problem, because I feel like there's a wall there. It's not just about respecting your friend, it's also about valuing her and really women in general as much as you value yourself. You might think you do, and I understand that you're trying to, but you're not there yet. The fact that SO MANY of us who have been around the block and seen situations like this (especially Alti, who has her own set of insights because she's a woman who's been through this) are telling you your behavior is problematic should really make you start to question your logic here.

I would like to mention that I do not act upon anything. Everything I post here is something that she did and me being hopeful.

Maybe I don't respect women and maybe I'm objectifying them, I can't tell. But I can tell you that nothing here is anything that I'm doing to her. It's just me observing things she has done to me.

Ninja'd
Well I guess I'm just a big jerk and I shouldn't post anything about relationships because I understand nothing.

[AmpharosAndy]

It's that pink symbol under her username

Dang. I need to get me one of those.

Let's not get too uppity, doods. We donut want to cheese people off innit keep dose smiles innit yeh? I'm smiling

edit: what's the word for a group of ninjas?

[Dudeman]

All I'm seeing is good advice, Andy. Alti, Slow, and Zun were honest but were non-hostile about it.

[cashwarrior1]

I'm feeling a hostile tone, though.

[Zunawe]

Well I guess I'm just a big jerk and I shouldn't post anything about relationships because I understand nothing.

The point is not to insult you, and if I did, I sincerely apologize. But there's value in listening to people who objectively have more experience than you in an area, and it's almost frustrating when you reject advice. You may think that we don't know the nuances of your relationship with Sara, but trust me, your situation is not unique in many aspects.

[Altissimo]

I'm feeling a hostile tone, though.

From me, I'm sure. I'm not trying to be hostile, I can assure you, it's just that it seemed last time people said "she's not interested" it didn't really help so I was hoping being more blunt about things would. I understand that it may have come across poorly and for that, at least, I apologize.

[cashwarrior1]

I just feel slightly misunderstood and the use of swear words, bolded letters, and large paragraphs makes me feel attacked.

Ninja'd
Thank you for apologizing though, sorry for being stubborn.

[AmpharosAndy]

Relationships is efforts innit.

Glad I don't have to deal with that pandemonium.

[Altissimo]

Relationships is efforts innit.

Glad I don't have to deal with that pandemonium.

right cause ur married

[AmpharosAndy]

sure.

Someday bloop's going to find that and I'll look like a right turnip.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Someday bloop's going to find that and I'll look like a right turnip.

I feel tempted to PM her the link, but I'm not going to.





For now...

[LeviR.star]

Here, I'll cheer everyone up.

(something that will hopefully cheer everyone up)

[AmpharosAndy]

For now...

you wood nut