[Wii] Rhythm Heaven Fever - "Screwbot Factory" by ThatHiddenCharacter

Started by Zeta, March 20, 2024, 03:59:12 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Rhythm Heaven
Game: Rhythm Heaven Fever
Console: Wii
Title: Screwbot Factory
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ThatHiddenCharacter

ThatHiddenCharacter

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Latios212

I's strongly recommend using clef changes instead of using an upper layer for the bottom staff for where the melody goes low. It'd help get rid of a lot of clutter of extra rests and stuff where the top staff is just sitting empty.

Also this might be a MuseScore setting or messed up on import, but the 8th/16th notes should be beamed together within each beat. There's a lot of disconnected notes that make it a bit difficult to rea the rhythms as is.
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: Latios212 on March 20, 2024, 04:55:51 PMI's strongly recommend using clef changes instead of using an upper layer for the bottom staff for where the melody goes low. It'd help get rid of a lot of clutter of extra rests and stuff where the top staff is just sitting empty.

Also this might be a MuseScore setting or messed up on import, but the 8th/16th notes should be beamed together within each beat. There's a lot of disconnected notes that make it a bit difficult to rea the rhythms as is.
Fixed! I will also be giving my other submission (considering it is Screwbot Factory 2) the same treatment.
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ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: Latios212 on March 20, 2024, 04:55:51 PMAlso this might be a MuseScore setting or messed up on import, but the 8th/16th notes should be beamed together within each beat. There's a lot of disconnected notes that make it a bit difficult to rea the rhythms as is.
Also, yes, that's exactly what it is. And I always forget to fix it...
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ThatHiddenCharacter

Just making a quick post to say that I have made some edits to this submission based on feedback I had gotten for Screwbot Factory 2 that also applied to this one.

I would also like to take this opportunity to specify that m20 beats 4 and 4.5 were an intentional choice/addition to this arrangement to distinguish the measure from m24 so as not to lose the impact of the sudden silence present in the original song.
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Latios212

Thanks - I was gonna comment on the measure distribution suggesting to use 3-measure systems as well. Looks much better :D Solid arrangement too.

- I'm hearing m. 2/17 beat 3 has a D instead of C#? If so, the B# on beat 2 could be respelled as a Cn
- I think the C bass notes on beats 2.5-2.75 in m. 4/8 would be better as Bn to double the right hand - the major seventh sounds muddy down there and if I understand the intention correctly the left hand is there to reinforce the rhythm here.
- In measure 10 beat 3.5 LH, I'm not sure I hear the F-F# there? It also sounds a bit muddy above the D bass that low. Conversely, I do hear a C# grace note you could write in the right hand.
- Some LH parts are flipped down unnecessarily, in m. 15-17. Rather than flipping them back manually, I suggest using the Stem Direction tool under Special Tools to clear the selections and this have directions
- m. 29 beat 2.5 chord sounds like C instead of Db. Beat 3, sounds like it contains an Eb instead of F.
- Make sure the crescendo in m. 30 isn't touching the mp on the right side
- For the glissando from m. 30-31, it should be angled up a lot more sharply leaving m. 30 if the intent is to continue it on the upper staff in m. 31. You could also give m. 31 a bit of extra space at the beginning using the Measure Tool for the wavy line. Actually, how about just moving m. 30 to the next system so the line is unbroken? m. 28-29 are dense so the two-measure system doesn't look off here, and the second-to-last system is empty so you can bump another measure down there.
- m. 33 RH - A instead of Bb on beat 2.5 chord
- The RH seems a bit empty in m. 35-37... maybe add D's as a fourth underneath or something?

Also, remind me, do we have a composer listing for RHF? I forget...
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: Latios212 on April 07, 2024, 03:55:12 PM- I think the C bass notes on beats 2.5-2.75 in m. 4/8 would be better as Bn to double the right hand - the major seventh sounds muddy down there and if I understand the intention correctly the left hand is there to reinforce the rhythm here.
I just want to comment on this quickly before taking a look at the rest of the feedback. I want to keep things like this consistent between this and Screwbot Factory 2. I originally had it as you said, but Kricketune told me to change it to this in the other track (the major seventh is also there due to it). I don't particularly care which one to go with, but if I change it here, I'm going to change it there, meaning there's going to need to be a consensus between the updaters on this note.
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ThatHiddenCharacter

#8
Quote from: Latios212 on April 07, 2024, 03:55:12 PMAlso, remind me, do we have a composer listing for RHF? I forget...
There was a site that specified which composers did which songs, but I've been having trouble finding it again since someone had sent it to me. I know that it had said Masami Yone was the composer for the Screwbot Factories.

UPDATE: I found who sent it to me, but the wbesite actually changed it's information and no longer specifies the composers for each song, just listing Nintendo for the ones not done by Tsunku (similar to the David Mismol channel except that David also includes the list of "Nintendo" composers in parentheses), so I'll update that as well.
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ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:47:00 PMI just want to comment on this quickly before taking a look at the rest of the feedback. I want to keep things like this consistent between this and Screwbot Factory 2. I originally had it as you said, but Kricketune told me to change it to this in the other track (the major seventh is also there due to it). I don't particularly care which one to go with, but if I change it here, I'm going to change it there, meaning there's going to need to be a consensus between the updaters on this note.
Sorry if this came across as rude. That wasn't my intention at all. I just want to be consistent.
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Latios212

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:47:00 PMI just want to comment on this quickly before taking a look at the rest of the feedback. I want to keep things like this consistent between this and Screwbot Factory 2. I originally had it as you said, but Kricketune told me to change it to this in the other track (the major seventh is also there due to it). I don't particularly care which one to go with, but if I change it here, I'm going to change it there, meaning there's going to need to be a consensus between the updaters on this note.
Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:58:37 PMSorry if this came across as rude. That wasn't my intention at all. I just want to be consistent.
Oh no worries! Sorry about the disconnect, I agree with you they should be consistent. Lemme poke Kricketune and see

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:48:42 PMThere was a site that specified which composers did which songs, but I've been having trouble finding it again since someone had sent it to me. I know that it had said Masami Yone was the composer for the Screwbot Factories.

UPDATE: I found who sent it to me, but the wbesite actually changed it's information and no longer specifies the composers for each song, just listing Nintendo for the ones not done by Tsunku (similar to the David Mismol channel except that David also includes the list of "Nintendo" composers in parentheses), so I'll update that as well.
Gotcha. Yeah I've found that the Nintendo fandom wiki often has track breakdowns by composer for Nintendo games, but this only seems to have the listing for the GBA and DS versions. VGMDB has the same info.
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: Latios212 on April 08, 2024, 03:09:38 PMOh no worries! Sorry about the disconnect, I agree with you they should be consistent. Lemme poke Kricketune and see
Yeah, something similar happened with Micro-Row and Micro-Row 2 (except I didn't have them submitted at the same time), and it's bother me ever since that there's a disconnect.

Quote from: Latios212 on April 08, 2024, 03:09:38 PMVGMDB has the same info.
Yeah, that's the site I was talking about. It used to specify, but they seem to have changed it.
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Kricketune54

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 03:37:51 PMYeah, something similar happened with Micro-Row and Micro-Row 2 (except I didn't have them submitted at the same time), and it's bother me ever since that there's a disconnect.
Yeah, that's the site I was talking about. It used to specify, but they seem to have changed it.

I hear Cn in the instances I pointed out for Screwbot 2 but they sound like Bn's here. In my opinion they should be Cn's in Screwbot 2 because they are literally audible as such and here I understand the reasoning for making them Bn's.

ThatHiddenCharacter

Quote from: Kricketune54 on April 08, 2024, 07:20:09 PMI hear Cn in the instances I pointed out for Screwbot 2 but they sound like Bn's here. In my opinion they should be Cn's in Screwbot 2 because they are literally audible as such and here I understand the reasoning for making them Bn's.
I still hear them as C's here, but the reasoning behind making them Bn's in this one also applies to Screwbot Factory 2, since Lat's point was about the major 7th sounding muddy at that octave. Personally, I think the major 7th sounds fine. Either way, since Lat's critique applies to both sheets, I would still like to keep them consistent with each other since I hear them as the same notes in both songs using AudioStretch.
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