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Messages - Latios212

#31
A few comments in addition to Bloop's above:

- About the presentation of m. 3: the RH beat 1 notes are offset a bit. You could also potentially write the first few notes of the top melody without the 8va to avoid clashing with the lower layer's notes/ties, but that'd be a lot of ledger lines and potential loss of continuity if you only include the 8va over some of the notes... just a thought you don't have to take.
- m. 20 - I don't hear the second C in the triplet at all, just sounds like a single strike of the C?
- m. 22 - the top A in the second chord is missing its natural sign
- m. 24 - this first triplet doesn't sound like a triplet, more like an echoey effect...?
- The slur all the way at the end can have its right edge dragged a bit to convey that it continues back at the beginning of the loop.
- The rest in the 6/4 measure sounds like it actually lasts a whole eighth rest longer... not imagining this am I? Do you think it might also be helpful to break m. 20-21 into some smaller measures? I think it might help me, at least, to think of a couple of these phrases as just lasting a couple of beats.


Lastly, should this be in Bb major? I know the common left hand pattern is rooted in Eb, but the melody at least tends to center around Bb and resolve to it very often. (There's also a ton of A naturals everywhere...)
#32
Feedback / Re: Sheet Music Errors Thread
April 08, 2024, 05:41:09 PM
Beats 2 and 4, you mean, right? (original)

Yeah, I agree. Though this sheet has some more issues like some offset measure numbers and use of 8va/octave clefs. We should fix this up a bit more if there's time...
#33
I forgot to mention, yeah, something like that would be good I think.
#34
Nice work, especially making the bassline palatable! Not much to add from me.

- In m. 4 beat 3, I think I hear the bass restrike the Bb (if you agree, just restrike the lower one?)
- How about moving the staccatos on top of the small notes in m. 17/19?
- The low bass figure in m. 25 seems like it might be tricky to transfer into m. 25 from. If you lowered it to give the RH more space though, no problem I suppose
- m. 26/34 beat 3.5 LH sounds like F instead of G
- Conversely, I think m. 41 beat 3.5 LH sounds like a C instead?
#35
Quote from: Latios212 on April 07, 2024, 07:37:32 PM- m. 16 beat 2 LH C sounds an octave up
Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on April 08, 2024, 12:17:25 AMSounds pretty similar in bassiness to the C2's on beats 1 of m. 11,12,15,22 to me. And also sounds deeper than the C3 on m.7 b.1
Hm, I'm still hearing it higher up. I think the low C from the beginning in m. 15 is still resounding at this point, might that be the low C you hear? Raising the pitch an octave, it sounds like the higher C has a notable strike here.

Quote from: Latios212 on April 07, 2024, 07:37:32 PM- m. 22 beat 1 - I hear this chord with a G on top rather than the C on bottom
Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on April 08, 2024, 12:17:25 AMThis is another situation like the last one where I'm hearing a ghost G on top. On inspection I hear the low C more clearly than the high G, even though in passing I keep thinking I hear a faint G on top
I still think I hear the upper G here as well... lowering the pitch by an octave, I still hear it up top. It's also what my ear is drawn to when listening at full speed.

Nonetheless, I can't say for 100% that you're not right about these couple of notes either. I will approve since everything else looks good! If the next updater could check these couple spots in particular, that'd be appreciated~
#36
Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:47:00 PMI just want to comment on this quickly before taking a look at the rest of the feedback. I want to keep things like this consistent between this and Screwbot Factory 2. I originally had it as you said, but Kricketune told me to change it to this in the other track (the major seventh is also there due to it). I don't particularly care which one to go with, but if I change it here, I'm going to change it there, meaning there's going to need to be a consensus between the updaters on this note.
Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:58:37 PMSorry if this came across as rude. That wasn't my intention at all. I just want to be consistent.
Oh no worries! Sorry about the disconnect, I agree with you they should be consistent. Lemme poke Kricketune and see

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 08, 2024, 02:48:42 PMThere was a site that specified which composers did which songs, but I've been having trouble finding it again since someone had sent it to me. I know that it had said Masami Yone was the composer for the Screwbot Factories.

UPDATE: I found who sent it to me, but the wbesite actually changed it's information and no longer specifies the composers for each song, just listing Nintendo for the ones not done by Tsunku (similar to the David Mismol channel except that David also includes the list of "Nintendo" composers in parentheses), so I'll update that as well.
Gotcha. Yeah I've found that the Nintendo fandom wiki often has track breakdowns by composer for Nintendo games, but this only seems to have the listing for the GBA and DS versions. VGMDB has the same info.
#37
Sorry I forgot to mention earlier it looks like a dynamic marking (p or mp perhaps?) is missing. Everything else looks good! :)
#38
Oh, in addition to the above - I noticed the copyright for the sheet is 2010, but this is labeled as a Switch game. Is this track from the original DS release of the game? If so, I'll go ahead and update the console info.
#39
Agreed with all points. Updated the sheet, thank you! :)
#40
For safekeeping, DM'ed real quick and some additional notes in the RH lower layer were written in m. 42 instead, which includes the C#.

Great work! Time to accept!

#41
The very last track on the OST!

Feedback:
- You could just use one slur going over the phrase in m. 2-3 starting with the grace notes, if you want. Putting the initial slur under the grace notes makes it a bit harder to count the ledger lines. On a somewhat similar note, I'd suggest putting the slur in m. 11-12 over the melody instead of under to correctly capture the descending contour.
- m. 6 beat 3 sounds rolled
- The chord in the LH of m. 7 beat 1 sounds like C-Fn-G ascending
- m. 9 LH beats 2-2.5 sound like F#-G
- How about sustaining the LH D through the rest of m. 14 instead of a rest?
- m. 16 beat 2 LH C sounds an octave up
- Thoughts about including the low bass F on beat 4 of m. 18 instead of the D? Or you think that's too much of a jump without much payoff? (Sneaky composers passing this off as a piano solo...)
- m. 21 RH beat 2.5 - not sure I hear the upper octave G prominently?
- m. 22 beat 1 - I hear this chord with a G on top rather than the C on bottom
- In the last measure, you could combine the half rests and put it and the quarter rest at normal mid-staff height.
#42
Thanks - I was gonna comment on the measure distribution suggesting to use 3-measure systems as well. Looks much better :D Solid arrangement too.

- I'm hearing m. 2/17 beat 3 has a D instead of C#? If so, the B# on beat 2 could be respelled as a Cn
- I think the C bass notes on beats 2.5-2.75 in m. 4/8 would be better as Bn to double the right hand - the major seventh sounds muddy down there and if I understand the intention correctly the left hand is there to reinforce the rhythm here.
- In measure 10 beat 3.5 LH, I'm not sure I hear the F-F# there? It also sounds a bit muddy above the D bass that low. Conversely, I do hear a C# grace note you could write in the right hand.
- Some LH parts are flipped down unnecessarily, in m. 15-17. Rather than flipping them back manually, I suggest using the Stem Direction tool under Special Tools to clear the selections and this have directions
- m. 29 beat 2.5 chord sounds like C instead of Db. Beat 3, sounds like it contains an Eb instead of F.
- Make sure the crescendo in m. 30 isn't touching the mp on the right side
- For the glissando from m. 30-31, it should be angled up a lot more sharply leaving m. 30 if the intent is to continue it on the upper staff in m. 31. You could also give m. 31 a bit of extra space at the beginning using the Measure Tool for the wavy line. Actually, how about just moving m. 30 to the next system so the line is unbroken? m. 28-29 are dense so the two-measure system doesn't look off here, and the second-to-last system is empty so you can bump another measure down there.
- m. 33 RH - A instead of Bb on beat 2.5 chord
- The RH seems a bit empty in m. 35-37... maybe add D's as a fourth underneath or something?

Also, remind me, do we have a composer listing for RHF? I forget...
#43
Splendid! Then this all looks good to me. Thanks for your work on this one :D

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#44
Final check incoming! I don't remember this track at all... but it's a really cool piece. Some of these chord changes oh page 2 are strikingly similar to Land of Morytha from 2. It's cool how the melody from the beginning is reharmonized on page 3...

- m. 5 LH beat 2 sounds like F# instead of G
- The LH slurs in m. 10-11 are a bit exaggerated
- You could just use whole notes for the E's in the right hand of m. 38-40 like the following measures if you want
- The last LH note of m. 42 sounds like that voice is going to a C# instead of G

Quote from: goldenscruff on March 10, 2024, 12:20:23 AMm50 and 58, C# major chords are hard to read. I suggest use E# and sacrifice the diminished chords with a D and E# to get proper C# major chords. Also add a courtesy En in the following bar.
I think this is actually easiest to read the way it originally was, with Fn and Ab instead of E# and G#. You would lose the proper spelling of the C# major chord in the middle but it's just passing here. Having the Dn-E# interval in the other chords that do represent the harmony of the measure seems much more awkward to me than the C#-Fn-Ab-C# stack.
#45
Fantastic! Then it is my honor to approve of your arrangement ;D

(For the next updater - noting that measure 18's left hand part has been reduced to a single line despite there being another voice in the original)