[PC] OMORI - "Lost At A Sleepover" by PlayfulPiano

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: OMORI
Console: PC
Title: Lost At A Sleepover
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PlayfulPiano

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[PlayfulPiano]

I personally feel that keeping the pitches matching to the original and having it act as two layers is preferred personally over moving one of the layers up/down an octave. It is all things considered a very simplistic track, and this is fairly legible to read / play. So I do personally think this is generally fine.

[Latios212]

I personally feel that keeping the pitches matching to the original and having it act as two layers is preferred personally over moving one of the layers up/down an octave. It is all things considered a very simplistic track, and this is fairly legible to read / play. So I do personally think this is generally fine.

Respectfully, I disagree. Let's take a look at what you have vs. what's in the original, written in Db major (which I would recommend over C# major for fewer accidentals in the key signature). Bottom two staves are the separate voices.

Spoiler

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First thing is the orange box where you've swapped the voices. No big deal, easy to fix.

The places I've highlighted in blue create some awkwardness in playing, potential confusion in listening, or both. The lower voice in the original is played legato, but the upper voice in the original isn't exactly staccato as you've notated it. These small intervals and the fact that the voices play the same notes and cross over one another make it awkward to play as both hands are in the same space. It can cause some confusion in listening as well because the voices aren't easily differentiable by the different instruments in the original - you can only differentiate the voices by articulating them differently on piano. In places like m. 2, 7, 8 you have one voice striking Ab after another, in m. 5 they strike the same Db, and you also have awkwardly small intervals in m. 6.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is that you don't run into any of these problems if you adjust one of the voices by an octave - it is much easier to play and aurally separate the two voices if you do so. Remember that a good piano adaptation doesn't necessarily mean writing everything out verbatim. The problem you're running into here is trying to cram two different voice into one small range which doesn't work well when you can no longer differentiate them by their timbre.

[PlayfulPiano]

Respectfully, I disagree. Let's take a look at what you have vs. what's in the original, written in Db major (which I would recommend over C# major for fewer accidentals in the key signature). Bottom two staves are the separate voices.

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

First thing is the orange box where you've swapped the voices. No big deal, easy to fix.

The places I've highlighted in blue create some awkwardness in playing, potential confusion in listening, or both. The lower voice in the original is played legato, but the upper voice in the original isn't exactly staccato as you've notated it. These small intervals and the fact that the voices play the same notes and cross over one another make it awkward to play as both hands are in the same space. It can cause some confusion in listening as well because the voices aren't easily differentiable by the different instruments in the original - you can only differentiate the voices by articulating them differently on piano. In places like m. 2, 7, 8 you have one voice striking Ab after another, in m. 5 they strike the same Db, and you also have awkwardly small intervals in m. 6.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is that you don't run into any of these problems if you adjust one of the voices by an octave - it is much easier to play and aurally separate the two voices if you do so. Remember that a good piano adaptation doesn't necessarily mean writing everything out verbatim. The problem you're running into here is trying to cram two different voice into one small range which doesn't work well when you can no longer differentiate them by their timbre.

In this case, which voice should be moved up and/or down an octave that you would recommend?

[Kricketune54]

In this case, which voice should be moved up and/or down an octave that you would recommend?

I remember you posting this arrangement on the forum, I'd lower the music box part an octave (see screenshot example)

 

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[PlayfulPiano]

I remember you posting this arrangement on the forum, I'd lower the music box part an octave (see screenshot example)

 

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[close]

Alright, it's updated to match the octave drop.

[Latios212]

Cool, looks good. Raising the RH an octave would give it a more music box-like sound, lowering the LH an octave makes it feel a bit warmer. I like how it is now.

The last thing I have is that you misspelled "Andante"

[PlayfulPiano]

Cool, looks good. Raising the RH an octave would give it a more music box-like sound, lowering the LH an octave makes it feel a bit warmer. I like how it is now.

The last thing I have is that you misspelled "Andante"

pain

(fixed)

[Latios212]

Cool, approved!

[mastersuperfan]

Looks good! Real quick:
- Could you lower the tempo marking to be closer to the staff?
- Maybe consider mp instead of mf? It's true that the volume is somewhat loud in the original, but on piano, I worry that "mf" would convey the wrong idea (i.e. a more clunky banging of the notes, instead of playing it more softly in accordance with the fact that there are only two voices here—if that makes sense). It doesn't give me the impression of the sort of track that would need a mf dynamic. I'll leave this one up to you, though.

[PlayfulPiano]

Looks good! Real quick:
- Could you lower the tempo marking to be closer to the staff?
- Maybe consider mp instead of mf? It's true that the volume is somewhat loud in the original, but on piano, I worry that "mf" would convey the wrong idea (i.e. a more clunky banging of the notes, instead of playing it more softly in accordance with the fact that there are only two voices here—if that makes sense). It doesn't give me the impression of the sort of track that would need a mf dynamic. I'll leave this one up to you, though.

Fixed the tempo marking. I kept it at mf though because I find the original to be fairly sharp with its note use and not that, idk, music box-y? Especially with some of the other omori tracks based on this track specifically, it's not that... uhh.... soft. Or calming. Or, yeah.

[mastersuperfan]

looks good

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan.

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