NinSheetMusic Forums

So I have a sheet for a new game:

Halo: Combat Evolved
On a Pale Horse
[musx] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/m5f5cblah4hsfg9/On%20a%20Pale%20Horse.musx?dl=0) [mus] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/rs4an1myrirac1x/On%20a%20Pale%20Horse.mus?dl=0) [midi] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/hbluwn2m7l43r00/On%20a%20Pale%20Horse.midi?dl=0) [pdf] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/vpycjyh7u6dsv0p/On%20a%20Pale%20Horse%20-%20Score.pdf?dl=0)


And a replacement
Pokémon Black and White
White Forest
[musx] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/rwj2aa792t4894c/White%20Forest.musx?dl=0) [mus] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/6bc95p0ou1vbjkq/White%20Forest.mus?dl=0) [midi] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/kzfpvf72i1q3lxi/White%20Forest.midi?dl=0) [pdf] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/ngg8lfy33x4gu7w/White%20Forest%20-%20Score.pdf?dl=0)

Only comment I have for White Forest is that the RH note in 27 should tie over to 28. 

As for Halo, the credits should be to Bungie, Microsoft.  The song you arranged is actually supposed to be called "Pale Rider" (source: https://vgmdb.net/album/29393 (https://vgmdb.net/album/29393), as "Behold a Pale Horse" is actually the Halo 3 version of the tune (see video and source https://vgmdb.net/album/5683 (https://vgmdb.net/album/5683).

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 30, 2021, 09:04:29 AMOnly comment I have for White Forest is that the RH note in 27 should tie over to 28. 

Added

White Forest
[musx] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/40ghagiit6p43bh/White%20Forest.musx?dl=0) [mus] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/29x3syk1bbe5v26/White%20Forest.mus?dl=0) [midi] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/t0gfx1wqq2yul5e/White%20Forest.midi?dl=0) [pdf] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/coe74bzqkvshjd2/White%20Forest%20-%20Score.pdf?dl=0)

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 30, 2021, 09:04:29 AMAs for Halo, the credits should be to Bungie, Microsoft.  The song you arranged is actually supposed to be called "Pale Rider" (source: https://vgmdb.net/album/29393 (https://vgmdb.net/album/29393), as "Behold a Pale Horse" is actually the Halo 3 version of the tune (see video and source https://vgmdb.net/album/5683 (https://vgmdb.net/album/5683).

The soundtrack you linked is the anniversary edition of Halo: Combat Evolved, which changed all the original titles and changed the arrangements based on the choices of the arrangers. The Halo 3 version of the tune is called Behold a Pale Horse while the Halo 1 version is called On a Pale Horse (in addition, it adds another 3 minutes of music that I did not notate). The soundtrack for Halo: Combat Evolved (https://vgmdb.net/album/190) is credited to Martin O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori and lists all the original names of each track.

Oh my mistake regarding Pale Horse's composer info.  I missed that both the vgmdb soundtracks I found when typing "combat evolved" in the search were the remaster.

As for notes on the song, I was wondering if you were omitting an E in the repeating rhythm that starts at m5 in the LH.  I hear an E on beat 2 but looking at the RH I can understand that the hands would be right next to each other

I am omitting that E, though if people think it should be there, then I can add it in (along with the others of the same kind)

White Forest

First of all, thank you for doing this one :)

Main thing I want to ask is, have you experimented with potentially including some notes/rhythms from the (I think it's a marimba)? Some places sound a bit empty when the melody is playing the same rhythm as the left hand chords, like in the beginning. I don't think that voice necessarily meshes very well but it would help with the motion if you wrote in notes for (for example) beats 1.5-2 in the first measure. If this ends up getting too cluttery or sounds bad that's fine, but I think it's something to think about.

Regarding your slur markings, I personally don't find slur/phrase markings that extend over entire systems to be super helpful. I think I'd only tend to use them here when showing a lead-in to the next phrase like at the end of m. 20/24. For those parts, another way to differentiate the phrases would be to break the beam in m. 20 and make beat 3 an eighth rest in m. 24. What you have right now though is fine, though, so your choice.

Also, you might want to reconsider if you want the slurs over staccatos or if it'd be clearer to just leave those phrases as staccato.

Other stuff at a first glance:
- Shota Kageyama
- You don't need a forward repeat bar at the beginning
- Slur your grace notes? :P
- When you have two eighth rests on beat 3-3.5, it should be a quarter rest. This goes for all the measures
- You might want to put the "etc." in m. 4 below the LH, or use a simile instead in m. 5, since right now it's a bit unclear what it's referring to. (Presumably the articulations in the LH chords)
- I was going to comment on the mordent in m. 6... but it actually does alternate B-C#-B instead of using the mixolydian Cn like the rest of the section! Interesting.
- Any reason why m. 18 LH is in two layers? Seems like it might just be simpler to keep it in one like everywhere else

(Note to self: only checked the melody so far, didn't look at the chords yet)

Quote from: Latios212 on September 07, 2021, 05:32:47 PMMain thing I want to ask is, have you experimented with potentially including some notes/rhythms from the (I think it's a marimba)? Some places sound a bit empty when the melody is playing the same rhythm as the left hand chords, like in the beginning. I don't think that voice necessarily meshes very well but it would help with the motion if you wrote in notes for (for example) beats 1.5-2 in the first measure. If this ends up getting too cluttery or sounds bad that's fine, but I think it's something to think about.

Yeah I had considered doing that when I first arranged but I think it would sound better with a simple score.

Quote from: Latios212 on September 07, 2021, 05:32:47 PM- You don't need a forward repeat bar at the beginning
- Slur your grace notes? :P

I keep forgetting to do that oof

Quote from: Latios212 on September 07, 2021, 05:32:47 PM- Any reason why m. 18 LH is in two layers? Seems like it might just be simpler to keep it in one like everywhere else

Well it was because the bass holds a quarter note while the strings still did staccato. Though if it's better for it all to be held, I can change that.

Updated.

On a Pale Horse looks pretty good already! Notes all sound good to me. Also damn, the youtube link you listed is old :p Here's a few things I noticed (mostly suggestions):
-If you want, you could beam the 6/4 time signatures as 6+6 eighths (instead of 2+2+2+2+2+2), so the division between the six beats is a bit clearer. You could also change 5/4 to 6+4 eighths, 4/4 to 4+4 eighths and 2/4 to just 4 eighths (though this last one is not as necessary)
-m.11: The mp covers the staccato in the L.H.
-m.26: I think I prefer one of these two notations for the L.H., but what you have is possible too. Just a suggestion:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/885894450172293161/unknown.png
-m.34: Have you considered arranging the higher strings that come in here in the R.H. instead of what you have currently? Right now, there's not really a difference between this part and m.26, except being a fourth lower.
-m.47: I don't think you should include the 'let ring' marking here, as there's just a short reverb at the end instead of a held note.

Quote from: Bloop on September 10, 2021, 07:39:48 AM-m.34: Have you considered arranging the higher strings that come in here in the R.H. instead of what you have currently? Right now, there's not really a difference between this part and m.26, except being a fourth lower.

I did consider doing that but I realized that notating the string part would require me to abandon the current rh part. I also feel that compositionally for a piano performance it makes more sense for it to just be a repeat than to try adding in the upper string part (also if I were to use the lh to play all that part by itself, I think it'd be more difficult than it needs to be).

Updated.

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on September 10, 2021, 11:53:16 AMI did consider doing that but I realized that notating the string part would require me to abandon the current rh part. I also feel that compositionally for a piano performance it makes more sense for it to just be a repeat than to try adding in the upper string part (also if I were to use the lh to play all that part by itself, I think it'd be more difficult than it needs to be).

I actually meant it as omitting the current R.H. and replacing it with the higher strings, but it's possible that that'll make the part lose the momentum as it's more legato and less punchy than the current R.H.

Either way, I'll abloopve of this one! I've taken the liberty to replace the file in the Project Folder, but don't forget to update those files too!

White Forest

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on September 08, 2021, 06:06:23 AMYeah I had considered doing that when I first arranged but I think it would sound better with a simple score.

Sounds goooood, it's also really easy to play this way haha

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on September 08, 2021, 06:06:23 AMWell it was because the bass holds a quarter note while the strings still did staccato. Though if it's better for it all to be held, I can change that.

Alright, that's fine then, I definitely hear it!

One last thing I wonder if it may just be best to write in the harmony in the second chord in m. 10/18 anyway for consistency - the chords move a bit in the original but as you have it right now it just looks like an omitted note. Up to you

Having said that last comment I will approve~

Quote from: Latios212 on September 15, 2021, 04:46:52 PMOne last thing I wonder if it may just be best to write in the harmony in the second chord in m. 10/18 anyway for consistency - the chords move a bit in the original but as you have it right now it just looks like an omitted note. Up to you

Ah yeah that'd probably be better. Updated (and put in the folder)

White Forest

• The rhythm in m1/3 RH should be beamed across like in the LH (and in other spots in the RH). In Finale, when you add grace notes to groups of 4 8th notes like this, the beam is broken for some reason, so you have to press "/" while highlighting the 8th on beat 2.5 to create the beam again.
• The grace notes at the beginning of m1/3 RH start on F instead of Eb. There should only be two grace notes.
• The chord on beat 4 of m2/4/6/14 should have a C# in it, but I guess there's not really a good way to add it with this voicing. I guess it's fine to leave it out.
• The chords in m8/16 LH are different. I'm hearing this:
  (https://i.imgur.com/ZCZ0HF9.png)
• m10 LH beat 2.5: There's an extra Bb that appears in this chord (Cbmaj7) - so you could move the Gb up to Bb just for this chord. This happens again in m18 too but I'd keep it as you have written because of the bass.

• Quote from: Latios212 on September 07, 2021, 05:32:47 PMI was going to comment on the mordent in m. 6... but it actually does alternate B-C#-B instead of using the mixolydian Cn like the rest of the section! Interesting.
  

  So, because of this, I'd actually suggest putting a courtesy natural sign above this mordent. Click on the Articulation Tool, click on that note with the mordent, click "Create..." > look for "Symbols", then select "Main..." > look for the small # sign (in my version of Finale, it's listed as number 73) > Select > look for "Positioning" > uncheck all boxes on the left and make sure it says "Manually" under the Position drop-down box > OK > Select > drag above mordent.
  
  Spoiler

  (https://i.imgur.com/YZPyVRJ.png)

  [close]
  But if you'd rather not do that, you could leave it. I just think it might be more clear since there's quite a lot of C naturals in this piece.
• m28 LH beat 2.5: This middle chord is actually another Absus4 (Ab-Db-Eb).

Quote from: Static on September 19, 2021, 01:26:23 PMSo, because of this, I'd actually suggest putting a courtesy natural sign above this mordent. Click on the Articulation Tool, click on that note with the mordent, click "Create..." > look for "Symbols", then select "Main..." > look for the small # sign (in my version of Finale, it's listed as number 73) > Select > look for "Positioning" > uncheck all boxes on the left and make sure it says "Manually" under the Position drop-down box > OK > Select > drag above mordent.
But if you'd rather not do that, you could leave it. I just think it might be more clear since there's quite a lot of C naturals in this piece.[/li][/list]

I went ahead and did this for measure 14 as well.

Updated.

All the changes look good, I'll accept now

On a Pale Horse

The right hand looks good.  I think all of my comments will be to do with the left hand.

-Firstly, there are lots of missing notes in the left hand.  For example, the pattern that you have written in for the first two beats of bar 11 is there in bars 3, 5-7, 9-12 etc.  In bars 4/8 etc., the left hand should have an E (above) on beat 2.  There are similarly notes missing in bar 16.
-The beaming of the left hand in a few places is not really ideal.  Beaming three quavers together is generally a bad idea in simple times, unless you're emphasising a hemiola or distinguishing a part.  Here, I think you've done it to try and beam as much as you can together to fit with the beaming in the RH, but I think it makes the left hand a lot harder to read.  Here's a picture with my recommendations:

Spoiler

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/892876253403684884/unknown.png

[close]

It might also be little more readable if you used crotchets (quarters) for notes that land on the beat.  It would decrease the number of rests which would aid readability, but I'll leave it up to you.
-The url/copyright isn't quite aligned to the bottom margin.
-The tie in bar 43 is colliding with the first layer note.  Adjust it downwards to avoid this.
-The notes used in the left hand in bar 47 feel kind of arbitrary to me.  Why is it a single note on beat 2?  The pattern doesn't match up with the right hand either and I don't really hear anything this clear cut in the original.  It's probably worth standardising the end a bit to make it a little more sane.
-I'd recommend adjusting the layer 1 notes on beat 1 in bars 42/44 so that they don't intersect layer 2.  At least it'd be a good idea to make the augmentation dots line up vertically.

Generally speaking, nice sheet.

Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2021, 01:58:47 PM-Firstly, there are lots of missing notes in the left hand.  For example, the pattern that you have written in for the first two beats of bar 11 is there in bars 3, 5-7, 9-12 etc.  In bars 4/8 etc., the left hand should have an E (above) on beat 2.  There are similarly notes missing in bar 16.

The upper lh notes in 3, 5-7, 9-12 I had left out since the rh already plays those notes. I figured the player should just not worry about them since it's already in the rh. I did add the E in spots like measure 5 where the rh is playing the F above.

Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2021, 01:58:47 PMIt might also be little more readable if you used crotchets (quarters) for notes that land on the beat.  It would decrease the number of rests which would aid readability, but I'll leave it up to you.

I find it easier with the rests, my brain sees constant eighth notes and divides it up that way I guess? Though, if you think the general population would prefer quarter notes, I can make that change.

Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2021, 01:58:47 PM-The notes used in the left hand in bar 47 feel kind of arbitrary to me.  Why is it a single note on beat 2?  The pattern doesn't match up with the right hand either and I don't really hear anything this clear cut in the original.  It's probably worth standardising the end a bit to make it a little more sane.

I was probably thinking "oh I wanna dramatize this build up by emphasizing the accents" and so figured to make that happen I had to remove notes and blah blah. Definitely easier to just be one thing the entire time lol.

Updated.

Sorry, I should have said what the missing notes in bar 6 were.  You're still missing Es on beat 4 and 5 (about the current Bs).

If you wanted to standardise the beaming across the whole sheet (which it looks like you do) you should adjust the beaming of the RH in bar 46.

Everything else looks good.

Updated

Quote from: Libera on September 30, 2021, 02:31:54 AMSorry, I should have said what the missing notes in bar 6 were.  You're still missing Es on beat 4 and 5 (about the current Bs).

I think I understand what you mean now. Though I did keep the B in beat 4 because that one I hear.

Updated.

Oh whoops I really messed up my last post with typos.

Quote from: Libera on September 30, 2021, 02:31:54 AMSorry, I should have said what the missing notes in bar 6 16 were.  You're still missing Es on beat 4 and 5 (about above the current Bs).

Bar 6 was fine, you can change it back to what you had before.  Apologies.

Ah, Updated.

Awesome, accepted.