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Submission Archive / Re: [PS1] Xenogears - "Faraway Promise" by Libera
« on: January 22, 2022, 07:34:14 PM »

Submission Archive / Re: [NES] DuckTales - "African Mines" by Nine Lives
« on: January 22, 2022, 07:32:52 PM »
It is!

I feel like this soundtrack is trying to give off the impression of young children in music class at school and I guess it succeeds but it doesn't make me enjoy listening to it.  The sheet looks good though.
Yeah some tracks are like this, I kinda like the goofiness tbh. Other tracks are surprisingly jazzy or well written though.

I was actually going to suggest doing this.  I think it'd sound pretty good and help to differentiate the ends of these phrases, but I guess it's up to you.  The lower octave is still pretty high and so it doesn't make the sound too heavy.
I tried it out with the higher octave, and I do like how that sounds, so I did it with that ^^ I feel taking the octave below goes a bit too much into the stronger register of the piano.

About m21-24, I rewrote it a bit so everything is in the same layer and all rests are at the same height, I think this seems to work pretty nicely (i've never done this much note/dote/tie moving in such a small section). On m23 beat 3 I still left the 8th rests in separate layers, as combining them in only one layer seems empty, and moving both to the standard position seems a bit distracting. I also left m23 beat 3.5 as a Bb instead of an A#: the An and A# would have to be next to each other with the accidental before each notehead, but that just takes too much horizontal space.

Files are updated, thanks for checking!

Nothing to add here, accepted!

Submission Archive / Re: [PS1] Xenogears - "Faraway Promise" by Libera
« on: January 21, 2022, 07:04:40 PM »
Definitely looking good, cute song! The only thing I noticed is that in m2 beat 4, I heard an F below the A in the R.H. (pretty much like the first note in m1), but that's all ^^

Submission Archive / Re: [NES] DuckTales - "African Mines" by Nine Lives
« on: January 21, 2022, 06:59:15 PM »
Looks pretty solid! Just a few little things:
-m8: I think the G in the R.H. on beat 3.75 doesn't tie over into beat 4, that's just delay.
-m10: The R.H. 8th notes on beat 2 and 4 should have a staccato. Also, the C in the L.H. should be C#.

Awesome! I'll definitely approve now ^^ I'll respond to your comments below, but there's nothing that big that needs to be fixed.

Yeah, that's what I originally had and what I liked better. BUT! I was certain someone was going to call me out on it if it wasn't there. I guess the opposite was true. Removed. :P
You don't have to change stuff around because you expect someone will say you should! If you thought about it and have a reason to go one way, just go that way ^^ (it helps if 'that way' happens to be our way too hahaha)

Yeah, I was originally going to do that, but given the other eighth-note runs don't contain staccatos, I decided to go for consistency, rather than accuracy. Still, I can put them in! I also appreciate the slur placement suggestion -- less brain power for me. :P
Ah yeah I can see that, the having this one different might just make it a bit more playful too.

I would agree, but I'm not sure if it sounds better or worse once I do that.
Yeah the combination with the B on beat 3 makes it sound a bit different. I don't think demarcating the melody works as well, since it's still a bit hard to let the melody come out, even though it's clearer that it's there. Something you could try is deleting the F# on beat 3 altogether, since it's already implied anyway.

Why do you make me suffer? This is good suggestion! But with the repeat lines, I'm never quite sure what to do since I have to do everything manually. I've done this suggestion, but you should definitely look over the vertical position of the first repeat and the slur in the second repeat (and just everything in general) to make sure they look good.
It looks totally fine! Maybe in m9 the slur could start a little bit higher (I think technically about the same height as the one above the barline between m7 and 8), but that's really the only thing.

I guess having a slur over a repeated note doesn't make a lot of sense, now does it? :P
It can make sense if you're using them more as phrasing marks than literally legato indications, but in this case there's a lot of legato/staccato stuff going on, so the legato-way makes more sense ^^

This was something I was wondering about, but since the rhythms didn't differ, I've went with the "minimize the number of voices" rule of thumb. However, you've made a good point and I've gone ahead and changed this, as well as applying it everywhere just to try to see what it looks like when it's "really consistent". You'll definitely need to give me feedback on how it looks as I fear a lot of the downward stems might create problems.
Looks totally fine to me, I don't think there's anything wrong with the downward stems ^^

I think I may have subconsciously left it out to focus on the chromatic descending line. I'm actually not sure which F# you're referring to, but trying it out now I like how a fifth above the B sounds (below the B sounds a bit muddy) and don't really know why I didn't think to write it in before haha. Added an F# to 2/4/6/58/66/68!
I think there's only one in the original below the B, but above works good too ^^

Hm, I'm not too sure here. I'm pretty sure the melody goes back to E on beat 3, and I feel like the slide here is similar to the one in m. 16 which I tried to replicate in a similar way
It could be that it goes to Dn for just a little bit and goes back to E quickly, but maybe having it consistent sounds a bit better either way.

I hear the original line highlight the Bb-Bb-C motion on beats 2-4 and I don't hear the Db as prominently, so I'm a bit hesitant to write in the Db's. I added the Bb though
That sounds good, it took me some time to notice the Db anyway :p

I also suddenly heard an E# grace note before beat 1 in m32, but aside from that I'll approve!

The pdf is still outdated, but the .mus looks a lot better! There were just a few things left, but I fixed those with consent from Ike, so I updated the files. These were the changes:

-m18 L.H. also needs a courtesy accidental on the Gn, also moved the crescendo hairpin down a bit in this system.
-m26: The key change to Em needed a double barline.
-m33: Natural sign was still touching the note before in the L.H.
-m39: L.H. E on beat 4 needs its stem pointing upwards.
-m48: The accidentals of the key change should be closer together, and the L.H. is missing the key change too

With that, I give this an approval!

Awesome! Then I'll approve

I can see some of the feedback implemented, but I'll try to make some of my other feedback a bit clearer, as well as some new stuff. Some of these are stem direction issues, which should usually be fixed automatically by Finale, but maybe Finale 2012 for Mac doesn't do that correctly? Either way, the most important rules for stem directions are these:
-Every note above the middle line has its stem pointing downwards.
-Every note below the middle line has its stem pointing upwards.
-For chords, the note furthest away from the middle line defines the stem direction.
-Notes on the middle line or chords that are an equal distance away from the middle line (e.g. G-D in the R.H.), you can choose whichever way, but usually the stems point downwards.
-When there's two layers, the top layer stems point upwards, the lower layer stems point downwards (even when the lower layer goes above the top layer for a bit).
I'll specify all places where the stem directions should be fixed.

-m1 and 2: Add staccato's to m1 beat 1.25 and m2 beat 4.25, in both R.H. and L.H.:
-m3-6: The L.H. here should look like this:
-m7, 9, 11 and 13 R.H. should look like this:
m7 and m11
-m15 and 17: The lower voice should still be in the second layer, it looks a bit weird to have it jump from the second layer to the first layer. Make sure to lower the crescendo hairpin a bit so it doesn't touch any note flags.
m15 and 17

-m18: The G's on beat 1 could use a cautionary accidental:
-m21: The stem of the R.H. note on beat 3 should be pointing upwards:
-m29, 30 and 33: The natural of the Fn's are touching the note before, use the measure tool to move the note a little bit to the right:
m29, 30 and 33
-m34: I actually meant to stop the octave-up transposition in the L.H. at beat 1 here, so beats 2-4 can still be like you had first (nice walk up to the A in m35). The stem of beat 1 should be downwards, all other stems upwards:
-m35: The first two stems in the R.H. should be facing upwards. Also, the rhythm is slightly different:
-m37: You're missing a few notes in the second layer of the R.H., and the L.H. should just be single notes:
-m39: L.H. bottom layer should be single notes, as well as stems pointed downwards. R.H. should have a second layer with A# and An (the An as a quarter note, because the player can't hold it for 2 beats). Dn in R.H. on beat 2.5 should be Cx (chromatic neighbouring tone from D#)
-m40: Cn in R.H. should be B# (third in a G# major chord), Gn in the L.H. should be Fx (chromatic neighbouring tone from G#), rhythm in L.H. is slightly different:
-m41-42: I remember you had a crescendo to fortissimo here, you can still keep that if you want ^^
-m43: Rhythm in the L.H. is a bit different:
-m45: You probably misunderstood what I meant here, the R.H. should look like this:
-m46: There's a missing rest on beat 1 in the second layer of the R.H.
-m47: First two notes in the R.H. should have stems pointing upwards, L.H. second layer note should be a bit more to the left (just delete and re-enter):
-m48: All sharps should be flats (Gm chord, as well as modulation to Fm which is in flats).
-m49: I was expecting the key signature change to place itself before the barline, but apparently it goes after.. There is a way to manually change this, but it requires some work (hiding the key signature and manually adding the naturals and flats of the key change). If you want help with that, you're probably better off asking on discord ^^

Damn what a fast piece, nice work!

-m1 beat 1 and m4 beat 4: The 8th note of these 16th-8th-16th figures could use a staccato as well.
-m3-14: I actually don't agree with Kricketune and Dekkadeci for why a dotted 8th was recommended for the note on beat 3: every third note has an exact length of a 16th, which would be better written as a staccato 8th note:

Also, this is a very fast speed at which the player has to restrike the notes. m3-6 might be doable with using multiple fingers (i'm personally a bit bad at them), but the octaves  in m7-14 are definitely close to impossible. For these measures I'd recommend something like this:

-m7, 9, 11 and 13: All upwards-pointing stems here should be pointing downwards.
-m10: The L.H. note on beat 4 is long, maybe you could change the staccato to a tenuto or just delete the staccato.
-m14: The F# in the L.H. is probably better written as Gb (Gb major chord (without the 5th) going to Cb major as V-I progression)
-m15: The Bb on beat 4 should start a 16th earlier (the second layer has the same rhythm as the first in beat 3-4)
-m18: The chord here seems to be Eb over a G bass, as a V-i progression to Abm in the next bar. That means the Abb would probably be better written as a Gn. For clarity, it may also be a good idea to add a courtesy accidental to this Gn and the one in the bass, so it doesn't get confused for the Gb that has appeared a few times before. Lastly about this bar, I don't hear the Db on beat 4.5, I just hear a quarter note Fb.
-m21: The Cn's in the R.H. on beat 2.5 should be B#'s (to keep the same motion as the other notes)
-m23: Using a glissando here is a bit weird together with the whole note before, maybe it's better to add 16th grace notes (G-A or F#-G-A).
-m25: Maybe you could add a D# on top in the R.H., so there's at least an ascending motion on the top notes in m23-25?
-m26: I don't hear D#'s anymore in this part, and the full chords mordent is quite hard to play. I also hear the Bn-Cn-Bn motion clearer in the bass, so summarized, maybe something like this works better?

-m27-34 beat 1: Low chords like these in the L.H. sound very muddy on piano, maybe it's better to move everything up an octave? It also helps with getting this part back in a lower dynamic.
-m35-48: I think this whole part makes more sense staying in Em. It doesn't get to C#m until m41, but immediately starts modulating back to Em again until it arrives there at m45. The chord in m47 still feels kinda Em-ish, while m48 is the pivoting chord to modulate back to Fm on the repeat. You can change the key for m49 to Fm though, so there's also an cautionary key signature change before the repeat. I'll recheck the enharmonic spelling after the key change has been done ^^ Another thing about this part: don't forget to slur the grace notes, we love our grace notes slurred :p. All rhythms with grace notes should also be the same as the other melodies here (so the note with the grace note a 16th later)
-m35-40: For this part, it may be worth thinking about if putting all three melody voices in the R.H. (some of them moving up an octave from the original). The one in the L.H. currently is missing some notes (like B and A on beat 1 and 2.5 of m37 and A# an An on beat 1 and 3 of m39), and is sometimes interfering with the bass too much.
-m41: I hear this in the R.H.:

-m45: You could add the E and D in the R.H. on beats 1 and 3 here too, like in m37. Also, I'd delete the lower notes of the extra trumpet line in the second layer: they're pretty much impossible to play, even without the E and D I just suggested.
-m47 and m48 beat 1: Maybe you could add the octave below here too, as there's a lower melody voice playing it too.

Changed to your suggestion for the first bullet.  For the second, I did put the G# in question into the RH for a quarter note on beat 1.  I felt like losing that G# completely was not good but let me know if that's too awkward
That's a good solution too! You could also make that quarter note a (dotted) half note, because the R.H. has some time before it needs to jump up. The way I play it is using the 1st finger for the G# and the 2nd finger for the D#, after which the thumb takes over the D# between beat 3 and 4.

On subject of consistency, I have removed the separate RH layers for m5 and 6 and have made the inner notes the same length as the melody notes.  Having two layers looked messy now that what was the top LH layer in m5 was moved up to the RH
I think I prefer this even, looks good!

Oof, I hate when I have heard something wrong for such a long time, fixed
I didn't notice it at first few listens either, that D from the second violin is quite distracting.

I'll take em, I didn't know that about LH parts and 3rd's and while I initially was excluding that secondary violin part, it looks like it isn't adding that much complexity that isn't augmenting the richness
I made a little mistake myself on the second bar, don't know when it got lost when editing: the 2nd violin plays B-E in quarter notes in beats 1 of m8:

Aside from that, everything looks good!

- Personally I think the timpani part that goes C# -> G# sounds more prominent than F# -> C#, but if you feel the opposite then that's okay
I don't really hear anything going C#-G#, are you sure that's not just some overtone stuff coming from the timpani? Either way, I think F#-C# works better tonally too.

- Maybe you could tremolo between some of the octaves whenever there's a mallet roll (e.g. start of measure 15/17 and beat 2 of measure 18)
Good idea! I used it for the places you mentioned: I didn't use it in the beginning, because I didn't like using the octaves.

- It might look more uniform if you used 4/4 instead of Common time since you switch to 5/4, but this isn't a big deal
Yeah good point, I should be aware of that more :p

Files updated!

I'm enjoying this game a lot currently, glad I got to know it from here :D

Notes are all correct! Just some suggestions about slurs, staccatos and layers:
-m1, 4 and 5: For the double bass and accordion bass notes, It could be best to not try to arrange as much as possible of both of them. For m1 and m5, I hear the D on beat 3 more prominently than the A-D figure of the double bass (though this works alright too, if you really wanna keep it). For m4, however, I think it's better to just delete the low A on beat 4, so you have that fun D-A-B-C#-D figure from the contrabass. The A sounds out of place then.
-m2 and 6: Since you have a lot of slurs already, maybe you could add one from beat 1 to beat 2 here too?
-m3: If we wanne be really precise, beats 1.5, 2 and 2.5 should be staccato too (slurs wise you can then do beat 1 to 1.5 and from beat 3 to beat 1 in the next bar).
-m4 and 14: On beat 3, the melody goes down to a D, so maybe it's an idea to move the F# down an octave. It's probably better to be more faithful to the melody than to the accompaniment :p
-m7: Maybe you can start this slur from beat 4.5 of beat 4 already.
-m8, 10 and 18: You might wanna think about if you wanna end the slurs on beats 1 of these bars, or on beat 4.5 of the previous bar: there's something to be said about both of them :p
-m12 and 16: Maybe you could move the A's and D's on beat 2-3 to the second layer, so it's clear the melody still goes on here. It might look like the melody stops at beat 1 and the R.H. just takes over the L.H. chords. If you wanna be really consistent, you can move all other accompaniment parts to the second layer when the melody is also playing, but I felt that it would make the most difference here.

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