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Submissions / Re: [MOB] Fire Emblem Heroes - "Climb the Sky" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: August 06, 2022, 01:52:10 AM »
Back again with more edits.
You've moved this to start on beat 5 now rather than beat 4.Whoops, 6/8 sometimes messes me up with beat labels. Fixed!
I don't see an E anywhere in this bar now.I must have changed that after typing that part of the response... added it back in lol.
This looks better definitely, although I think it could still look a bit clearer./less awkward Have you considered writing the left hand part out in just one layer? I think it could look pretty sensible/readable in this way, and alongside some minor simplifications I think it could be really great. Something like this:That does look a lot easier to read. I did the whole section like you suggested and it sounds a little emptier, but realistically it's probably closer to how it would be played anyways. Hopefully this works better!Ignoring articulations and the right hand (what you can see of it) this is meant to be bar 34's left hand written out how it currently is on the left, and how I am suggesting on the right. I guess the guiding principle for this style of accompaniment is 'get the bass notes in on beats 1 and 4, and then be free to jump away to the more interesting stuff when needed'. If you like how that looks then I'd suggest trying it out on the rest of the left hand here. (Note that this doesn't mean I think it's a good idea to always merge layers together for the left hand, and I think it works fine for all of the other parts in the sheet).Spoiler[close]
Again this looks better, but could be a little more consistent. In 38-45 you use one note harmonies, and mostly in 46-54 you use two note harmonies, but occasionally 3 (in bar 47) and 1 (in 54). The extra note in 47 is definitely unnecessary (just remove the D or Bb) and you can add the E in for 54 (as mentioned above). In terms of actual notes though.All these should be fixed.
-The E is more important in the RH than the A or C in bar 48 (since it isn't doubled in the left hand).
-I think instead of doubling the melody in bar 44 you could do something more like in 52, probably just the D.
-Not actually note related but watch the beams in bars 41/49. They're colliding/almost colliding.
-The run in bar 41 sounds to me like G A Bb C (like in bar 54 but without the C#).
-I would move the rests in bars 38/46 up off the staff.
-It would be nice to get the 7 sound in bar 58, so maybe change the RH second layer Bs to Ans.These as well. You're right, I had gotten totally confused with the melody and harmony in 61-62, but that should be fixed with the harmony added in.
-Next bars sound like G -> A -> D -> Bm7 -> Bm7 -> Dm/G -> Dm/F -> E7sus4 -> Asus4 -> A. So it would be nice to have As on beat 4 of bar 60 and beat 1 of bar 61, Ds in bar 62 and an An in bar 63.
-The melody and the harmony are the wrong way around in bars 61-62. It should go up to the Fn on beat 61 from the E and so on. I think maybe my previous comment was confusing, but I was only referring there to the swap that occurred at the end of bar 62 going into bar 63. 61 was right as you had it before (although see above for more harmony).
There are a few other miscellaneous presentation things that I could mention but since this will definitely need another look from me anyway I'll probably just keep this post shorter (I know I have a habit of making these posts look too intimidating). Let me know if you need any clarifications on anything. (Oh and thank you for posting the old version, it was very useful for me because it's been a while since I looked at this!)No problem, I try to post the old versions whenever I significantly rework an arrangement. I did my best to clean up a few things presentation-wise but I'm sure there's some I've missed. Thank you for your patience!