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Messages - Code_Name_Geek

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 15
You're welcome! Looking at the couple of things you mentioned...
I could also be a bit confused due to the layers, but I think I hear the melody ascending from the F like this (the whole phrase possibly lowered an octave from where it is in the original)
I think you're right about this - I'm hearing it in the piano especially - so I went ahead and changed all those spots. I also made a slight modification in m. 29 because I realized it was impossible to hold the second layer (formerly F-C) under the melody, so I just combined it into beat 1 of the melody.

Firstly, I'm pretty sure these notes are Fs rather than a Cs.  Maybe putting it up the octave helps to hear this.  Secondly, although it's quieter I don't think these are ghost notes.  Thirdly, I do actually think ghost notes can be implemented on piano pretty well and my usually go-to is to write them in as low tonics for whatever chord is being played and it usually sounds good.  So even if these were ghost notes I think my suggestion wouldn't change: to write them in as low Fs.
The Cs sounded a bit off in a way I couldn't put my finger on, but the Fs sound better. Got those, thanks!

Other than that, I fixed a few formatting issues caused by the modified bassline.

One overall thing - I hear the melody (some wind instrument?) play an F on beat 1 of the figure in m. 5, 9, 25, 29, 41, 45, 49, 53. Did you omit it intentionally because of other layers or were you going for another layer or something else?
For here, which octave do you hear the F in? I'm possibly hearing something in the lower octave but it's hard to tell with all the instruments. Just wanted to check that's the same note you're talking about!

- I hear a C on beat 2.5 of the recurring bass pattern. Was omitting this intentional?
I do hear the C (eventually, after listening very carefully lol), but it seems to be more of a ghost note to me than an actual note? It's a lot quieter than the other notes at least. I don't know if there's a good way to notate/play that on piano, so I just added it as a regular note for now. Let me know if there's a better way to do that or this is alright.

- I think the melody restrikes on m. 24 beat 4 instead of holding over the F?
- Tie directions - would recommend flipping them normally in m. 29-32 since there isn't any risk of the two layers conflicting (they don't play above/below one another simultaneously)
- I don't hear the grace note in m. 37?
- Misaligned quarter note in lower layer in m. 37
These are all fixed now. You're totally right about that grace note, I must have copied over another measure at some point and forgotten to take that out.



One issue I'm having with this is that the roll at the beginning of the second page isn't working in playback. If anyone knows how to fix this, help would be appreciated!

Innocent Life: A Futuristic Harvest Moon - Easter Ruins

Innocent Life is an extremely underrated spinoff in the Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons series. Featuring a science fiction setting, an android protagonist, and all kinds of neat farming gadgets, it's a shame that this spinoff didn't grow into its own series like the more popular Rune Factory. This is the track that plays outdoors on your farm, otherwise known as the Easter Ruins, and it's quite a beautiful piece. Hope you enjoy!

Cool.  Some (hopefully) final small things:

-Be careful with the positioning of the grace in 17.  It needs to be brought to the right more.
-It's probably better to hide the second layer rest in bar 39 since you've now combined that part into the first layer there.
-It would probably be better to change the bottom margin to 0.5 like the top and right margin.
Done! Sorry that took so long, I got swamped with end-of-semester stuff...

The only question I had was for bar 39: should I flip the stems in the second half of the measure (at least the second two of the quarter note triplet) or leave as is?

You can add in the lower part in bar 44 as well since it has the same rhythm, like this:


Having another look at this, I think the best option may just be to cut the triplet on beat 1.  I don't think it will change that much sound-wise but it'll be massively more playable that way.

The rest of the changes look good to me, nice work.
Ack, sorry it took so long to get this done. I changed the triplet to a quarter note which should be fine, and added the other voice too.

Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: March 21, 2021, 08:25:41 PM »
Looks pretty great, just a few nitpicky details to go over:
  • While G minor makes sense, that bassline actually makes me hear this as more in G major (like a G blues sound). Up to you if you want to change the key signature for that, it's probably fine either way.
  • When those LH power chords come in at m19, I hear the beat 4.5 notes as tied to the next measure (like in m20/22/26) rather than restruck.
  • You don't need courtesy accidentals when you start on a new line (m35), but you can keep them anyway.
  • That bass lick in m38 actually starts as a pickup on beat 4.5 of m37, so the last D should be one 8th note longer as well (starting on beat 2.5 of m38).
-I actually went back and forth on the key while arranging this so I'm fine to change it.
-I listened to the power chords again and it's really hard to tell, so I'm going to trust you on that. The middle one is still restruck in the arrangement because of the change in voicing, however.
-Also done.


-The bassline should end with Bb -> C in every bar.
-Every F chord (so every four bars) I hear it as just open F-C, so I'd suggest changing the A's to C's or dropping them.
-I'd bring the first layer rest down a little in bars 15/19 etc. since it makes that first triplet bracket a bit oddly high.
-I think you need to mess with the ties in bar 20 a little more to keep them away from the first layer notes.
-Grace note in bar 21 is touching/too close to the second layer notes.
-I'd notate the dyad in 29 in a separate layer like you do elsewhere, I think it could be a little confusing for the reader to distinguish the melody there.
All done!

-The RH of bar 37 is very unplayable.  Is there any way you could rewrite that section to avoid the immense awkwardness of that phrase?
This is the one thing I couldn't figure out how to fix... I might play around with this some more but any suggestions would be welcome.

-The rhythm in the second half of bar 39 is very confusing to read.  Working out how the last two notes interact with one another is pretty tricky, and the way it's written looks like they play together (which they shouldn't).  Maybe you could simplify that rhythm there or write in a clearer way?

-In bars 41-48 another higher voice comes in over the top that I think is a bit more interesting, particularly in bars 43-44.  Have you considered including it?  Perhaps instead of the lower line?  Or maybe you tried it out already and it didn't work well.
I added the higher voice for the first 4 bars, but didn't hear anything significant in the second 4 bars so I left it the same. (Feel free to let me know if I missed something there though.)

-It might be nice to see if you can get a pedal F at the bottom of bars 49-56 like in the original, rather than the bass note changing.  I think it should still be doable with sost. pedal, or just normal pedalling.
-The dynamics could generally be better centred vertically and horizontally.  Have a look through them again to make sure the positions look nice.
Also fixed.

Thanks for the detailed feedback!

Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: March 21, 2021, 03:22:33 AM »
Looks great!  The only thing I have left to suggest is maybe a double barline in 28, but that's really up to you.  I'll approve in the meantime.  (I'll fix the articulations later.)
Good idea, done.

Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: March 19, 2021, 06:33:54 PM »
This piece doesn't go quite where you expect it to at the end does it?
Yeah it's a bit of a sneaky ending haha.

-Does every single (almost) note need a staccato?  I get what you're going for but I feel like an articulation kind of loses its meaning if you put it on basically every note.  Maybe you could write 'sim' at some point, or even condense what you want to convey with a direction instead of all of these staccatos.
That's a really good point. I decided to use sim after establishing the pattern, however I kept the staccatos for the last section since it's so different in style. Does this make sense?

-The chords in 29-33 are maj7b5 or 7b5, so I think the G#s should be Abs instead.
Fixed, I was thinking of those as #11s but that makes more sense in this context.

-The repeat in 32 is not particularly pleasant and also the bass note actually changes to a Cn on the fourth chord, so I think it'd be a good idea to write those bars out fully.  If you're worried about going onto two many pages, you can fix this by dropping the staff size to 6.5cm (to be honest I would do this anyway since I think it looks better) and then putting 5 systems on page 1.
Good catch, I usually use 6.5cm size but I must have forgotten this time around. Fixed the repeat and the bass note as well.

Everything else is fixed too, thanks!

Submission Archive / Re: [PS2] Persona 4 - "Game" by Code_Name_Geek
« on: January 25, 2021, 12:52:11 AM »

hey look, I remembered to centre the staccatos right this time

Ok, last edits are done!

I agree with this... not necessarily because it's a practice I've seen in other places but simply because I think it's the least ambiguous way to write it. That said, I think it's fine if you want to keep it although measures 9 and 13 are particularly confusing.
Alright, that's logical enough so I suppose there's no harm in doing it that way. These places should be fixed now.

Got most of the note and formatting fixes as well, thank you! (I could have sworn there was a D on those beat 2s, but I listened to it again and you're totally right - I've been hearing that wrong for years lol.)

- The ascent in m. 9/13 sounds like it starts on D and ascends to D (no C#)
This is the only one I was unsure about - is this what you meant by no C#.

Thanks again for the help, and sorry on the wait!

Sorry for the wait!

We tried that out and liked the suggestion, so we decided to go with it! We also modified the section immediately before to be similar.

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