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Messages - Zeila

#61

Hi! In the future, it would help if you posted a source to the submitted song, whether it's an mp3 or youtube video

In addition to the above, I also have some feedback:

Formatting
  • There are some of discrepancies between your mus file and the Submission Guidelines, and it would help if you used Cacabish's guide/program to fix most of the weird MuseScore -> xml -> Finale conversion issues such as missing measure numbers or incorrect fonts
  • If you want to write in a key signature, then I think you should go with what tonic it starts as, which would be in E minor
  • I think either of the measure distributions 4-4-4-3-3 or 4-4-5-3-2 (# of measures per system) would look better than your current one that's 5-6-3-2-2
  • m1/3/5/7 The RH has nothing to do here so you could just write out the chords in the RH staff instead of putting two layers in the LH (in m3 I think it would be better to preserve the staccato of beat 2 than to hold the D and D# in the RH and use a pedal for the low E in the LH). If you really want to keep both voices on the same staff, then I think it would look better if the quarter rests were lowered to their default position
  • m2/6 LH there's no need to separate the voices with rests so you could combine them into one layer or just flip everything so that the beams, articulation, and rests look normal
  • m4 since the decrescendo is only affecting the RH, you could move that on top of the staff and then put the "(tap piano)" text in the middle so it wouldn't overlap. The decrescendo in the penultimate measure should also be on top of the staff
  • m8 you don't need to write out (tap piano) again since it's clear that the notehead is different
  • m9 LH the 8va should actually extend past measures 13 and 14, so you could delete all of the other ones and have this singular 8va go all the way to the end

Notes
  • I think most if not all of the written octaves are power chords. I think it would sound too muddy to add them in though unless you raised them up an octave
  • m1/3 the first dyad (beat 2) should have a staccato and the pedals here are unnecessary when the RH can play the top. Also, I think there is still an E here that plays under the dyads, but I'm unsure about that when it doesn't sound like m5/7 have a D playing underneath the transposed dyads. Additionally, I think it might be better to write F#->A# as Gb->Bb instead
  • m4 LH The first three timpani notes sound more like G# than A or G to me, but I agree with everything else Whoppy mentioned
  • m5/7 In addition to what Whoppy mentioned, the G should actually be a G#. If this were to be written with flats just like m1/3 potentially, then the second dyad would be Fb->Ab instead of E->G#
  • m6 you could double beats 3-4 up an octave with the RH since there are multiple instruments playing that phrase
  • m8 I think it would be better to fade out the last quarter note with sixteenth notes instead of cutting it short that early
  • m9-14 I think it would look better if you wrote out flats instead of sharps, except for the C# in measure 14 (e.g. Db and Ab instead of C# and G# in m9 so that they don't create naturals right afterwards). This includes changing F# to Gb in m10/13. Also, I don't think this section really needs a pedal when compared to the original
  • m13/14 RH I don't think the RH doubles the bass here and just continues the top line, but I could be wrong
  • m15+ RH doesn't need an 8va and should be lowered an octave too. For measure 15 specifically, I don't think there should be any staccatos written in the RH. I also would advise against putting octaves here because it increases the difficulty by significant amount without adding much, it would lose the legato feel, and the top voice is hard to hear in comparison anyways. After lowering it an octave and removing the top notes, you could just leave it in bass clef. Even if you insist on keeping octaves and leaving it in treble clef, the one you switched to (french violin clef) is centered on a different line and adjusted the normal treble clef by two whole steps downwards (i.e. your G->G#/Ab->C#/Db->E line looks like E->E#->A->C# if someone weren't paying close attention, and for the record those sharps would be better off spelled as flats imo because there's a C in the bass already and the G#'s would keep creating natural accidentals for subsequent G's)
  • m15 pt 2 Regarding the rhythm here, it sounds loose and has a slightly more gradual change, so I think it would be better to write it ambiguously with beamed notes and maybe some text direction instead of a set rhythm w/ eighth and sixteenth notes
    Spoiler
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    I think it is more conventional to use feathered beaming, but the change is only minor here. Maybe someone else will have a better idea!
    [close]
  • m15/17 LH beat 1 quarter note doesn't sound like it should have a staccato
  • m18 RH that pattern keeps going in this measure, albeit it's very faded
#62
Site News / Re: Update, Wednesday 24th of November 2021
November 24, 2021, 03:26:34 PM
Gratz on finishing the Mega Man soundtrack Levi!

And nice update everyone :3
#63
Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- m. 169 - don't think I hear the RH harmonies under the melody in beats 2.5-3?
I removed all of them except the B on beat 3

Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- m. 170 beat 1 LH - sounds like it should be an octave down
I'm not sure if you made a typo because I still hear m170 the same, but think m169 beat 1 should be lowered an octave

Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- m. 171 RH - I hear a G# on beat 2.5 but not 3.5
Did you mean that you hear a G# on beat 3 instead of 2.5? I got rid of the one on beat 3.5

Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- m. 172 RH last note sounds like a single A#
The C# was from the violin part, but I can remove it if it's better off without it. For now I just split the two voices

Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- Fx in m. 187-188 should be respelled as Gn (third above E bass). I think the F# in the RH of 188 should also be a Gn. (Also remove the courtesy sharp in m. 189)
I changed Fx to Gn and removed the courtesy sharp, but I still left the F# the same. I do hear a Gn in that octave range, but the Fx is from the line that goes Fx -> E -> C# (originally up an octave)

Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- I don't hear any of the octaves in m. 190 LH, it just sounds like one sustained low F#
I think you're right that it's just the low F#, but I also hear it re-articulated on beat 3. I also moved the clef change to the start of m191 instead of m190

Quote from: Latios212 on November 18, 2021, 04:49:05 PM- Lowest note of second dyad in m. 126 sounds like B instead of A (missing the major seventh sound in this chord)
- m. 127 beat 3 I don't hear anything besides the G#s
- Dim. hairpin in m. 135 touches the stem of m. beat 1
- Slur in m. 143 could use a little adjusting
- Sharp colliding with stuff in m. 154 (m. 153 is pretty tight too)
- Similar to one of my earlier comments about the violin melody being obscures in the staccato quarter in m. 163 beat 3 - would recommend stemming melody up here
- m. 166 - Fx instead of Gn on beat 1?
- I think the LH chord in m. 183 is missing a B#
- I think the D# in m. 193 would be better off as Eb
- m. 202 should be octave doubled below the LH
Fixed, thanks!
#64
Quote from: Kricketune54 on November 14, 2021, 05:14:35 PM-The standard on NSM is to do 4/4 instead of the Common time abbreviation for time signature
I don't think 4/4 is necessarily required, it's just preferred if there happen to be time signature changes so that "C" doesn't look out of place with other "x/4" time signatures. Likewise, using the cut C instead of 2/2 for cut time is also okay.
#65
Nice work!

- It sounds like there's a gradual build-up for the first 4 measures instead of starting at mf straight away, and it also sounds like there's a bit less energy in measure 5 compared to the end of measure 4. For example, you could start it off with p, crescendo up to forte by the end of measure 4, and then put mf at measure 5. If you think there are better ways to represent it then go ahead, but I think it needs something more than just mf
- I think this could also use some more dynamic variation from m37-end
- m1/3 I'm unsure but it sounds like the C in the second layer is struck again on beat 3
- m5-14 and other spots, the rhythm is inconsistent on beat 2 because some measures will have a staccato eighth note and others will have a sixteenth note. Is there any particular reason why they are different? Also in measure 14 the two sixteenth notes should be beamed together if that's what you're going to go with
- m30 the Ab in the last chord sounds like it goes down to a G
- m45-47 I think you should write an 8va here instead of leaving the chords of m46/47 so high up
#66
In m15/19, I changed beat 1 to include a B# instead of C#, but I left beat 2 the same since I personally think it resolves better on beat 2 rather than 3. Thanks once again!
#67
Quote from: Latios212 on November 08, 2021, 03:51:38 PM- I would recommend indicating that the last two beats of m. 98 are a pickup to the violin melody in the next measure. I know you've somewhat mixed the violin part with the other parts in the RH which is fine, but here the staccatos on these chords is the opposite of what the melody articulates so that makes me hesitate a bit. Maybe split the top note off to stem up?
It would've looked ugly if I just used the split stem tool (since the B# conflicts with the An), so I separated them into two different layers

The rest should be fixed, thanks!
#68
Project Archive / Re: Zeila's Halloween Sheet
October 29, 2021, 04:03:15 PM
Quote from: Static on October 29, 2021, 05:11:47 AMSorry, I meant just Dm here; the D bass you had before was correct.
I only had a D bass for m11/12 since it sounds like there's an additional B in both m15/16. I do admit that it sounds a little off without the third, so I modified those two measures such that the B is a half note for beats 1-2 and there's an additional D playing alongside the A's in measure 16

Quote from: Static on October 29, 2021, 05:11:47 AMThe rest of the changes look good, though for the grace notes starting at m41, maybe add an additional one in the middle. It kind of sounds weird when there's a larger interval there, since it's supposed to mimic a short slide/gliss. Up to you though.
I thought it might be too awkward to play, but I tried it again today and I think it's doable so I added an F and E to those
#69
Project Archive / Re: Zeila's Halloween Sheet
October 28, 2021, 10:12:02 PM
Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PMThis looks really good, not too much to add here
consider using an oxford comma for the composer list OK now for real feedback:
Thanks! I usually put oxford commas in general, but I just think it looks weird with the '&' symbol

Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PMm17-18 RH: The lower voice in Layer 1 can be tied into beat 3 in Layer 2. It won't sound right in playback, but I think it would be more appropriate than a 16th rest since that note is held with the top one.
It will (sort of) if you mess with layer expression settings

Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PMm25 RH and similar: These are Dm7 chords, so moving the RH D to C might be nice here. Actually it looks like you already did this for all the other measures like it, but m25 still has a D.
I left the D there because it seemed more prevalent and I wasn't sure if there was a C playing there explicitly, but it's been changed

Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PMm28 LH beat 3.25: Flip the staccato down here since the rest is hidden.
This is another thing I need to look out for because it's already on the notehead side in my sheet. I think Finale v26 automatically changes the articulation positions when other layer rests are hidden, and I guess 2014 doesn't do that so the auto/default position is different

Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PMm30/62 RH beats 1-2: Some accents might be appropriate here.
Good suggestion, I went with beats 1 and 2.5 on those measures as well as m38

Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PM
  • There's a bit of theory that applies here; these chords are functioning as augmented 6th chords (specifically Ger+6), but going to the root instead of the dominant.
    In jazz theory, these are just called tritone substitutions (E7 and Bb7 share the same tritone, G#/Ab and D, and their roots are a tritone apart), so they both can function interchangeably. This also means the spelling is interchangeable too. In a lead sheet you'd just see this written as Bb7, but G# would likely be used because of the melodic context.
    Note that if there were an E here in addition to the other four notes (Bb, D, F, G#), it would be an E7(b9,b5) chord instead. But either way, G# is preferred here.
  • Like with the above point, the spellings are interchangeable here. A-D#-F# forms an Adim chord or an inverted D#dim chord. This is a secondary dominant of both E7 and Bb7. I would go with how each note resolves. In m41, 45, and 49, the Eb moves to D and the Gb to F. In m53, the D# moves to E and the F# to G. The additional notes in the bass can be interpreted as passing tones in m49, but the B is part of the chord in m53. You could interpret it differently, but I think this is the simplest approach.
Thank you for the explanation!

Quote from: Static on October 28, 2021, 06:42:23 PMm16 LH beats 1-2: Consider changing the top note to A instead, to show the suspension to G#. It fits with the chord (B7b5, aka B half diminished 7th), and F is already doubled in the RH.
m17 RH: The 2nd Layer is different here than in m18. I'm hearing this:
~snip~
m41/45 RH: Those slides/grace notes sound like they start one semitone lower than what you have. Also, maybe adjust the curve on the first pair in each of these measures, it should have a more flat contour like the ones on beat 3.
m66 RH: Ab should be G# (AmM7 chord)
m71 RH: Up to you, but I think dotted 8th rests usually look better in these places.
Fixed, thanks! And about the tempo marking, I ended up going with Jake's suggestion of "Just Play Fast Lmao"
#70
Project Archive / Re: Zeila's Halloween Sheet
October 27, 2021, 11:55:18 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PMCool piece! Here's some feedback:
- I am personally a fan of performance directions that reference something in game, but this makes no sense outside of context and doesn't really hint at anything musically either. Any chance we could change it to something that makes more... sense?
That's fair. It was just the first notable reference I thought of. I'm drawing a blank for other potential references right now so I'll remove it, and if I (or someone else) can think of something in the meantime then I'll add it in during the next check edit: okay nvm I decided to look up some of her dialogue outside of battle, and maybe [ Preference Settings Set To "Allegro" ] could work, unless the mix of English and Italian is too strange or the phrasing is off in general. I still have a blank tempo in the uploaded file so I'll only add it in if others also think it could fit. The original line is "Understood, Preference Settings Set To Perish"

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- m. 6 beat 1 is a F major chord, so that D shouldn't be there (could be a C instead)
(assuming you're talking about measure 7) I still hear a high D in the harpsichord, and I just lowered it to be below the melody. If someone else also disagrees then I can change it

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- Any reason you have the slide on beat 1.5 written in m. 25 and 29 but not 26, 33-34, and 57-58?
my mind works in mysterious ways It seems like the slide in measure 26 is just slightly more delayed than 25/29, and then the rest were because I thought it might be awkward to do a slide into a chord. After some more testing it really isn't that bad provided that the middle notes are removed (which are only chord fillers anyways), so I made them all the same now

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- Spelling is inconsistent in the second half of m. 31 and 38. I think using F#/G# instead of Gb/Ab would be better since it resolves to A in the next measure. Measure 63 too
Yeah I wasn't sure what to go with because of the Bb7 (or just Bb) chord that appears in measure 64 alongside some other spots with that figure, but you're right that it would fit better with the melody so they've all been changed

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- m. 47-48 LH would likely be easier to read in bass clef (arguably this whole section from 41 actually)
I decided to go with the whole section as bass clef to keep it all the same

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- I feel like the LH chords in m. 71 want the fifth to be written in to convey the forcefulness of the ff there. Is the C in the right hand correct? It doesn't sound quite right, at least I think this measure is E7sus4
I added the fifth in the LH, but I'm still hearing the C as part of the harmony for the melody

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- The last three LH notes in m. 72 are an octave higher in the original - it also leads into the loop better that way
I thought it might fit more below an octave since there's already an E at the bottom, but now I raised it (and added an E on top of beat 1)

Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2021, 09:32:50 PM- For m. 17-18 I think it would look nicer if you hid the half rests and flipped beat 1-2 down in the RH. That said, if you really want to indicate that layer 2 if a voice separate from the lower notes of the dyads, that's fine to keep
- m. 53 beat 3 should use sharps instead of flats (D#/F# chromatically neighbor the other chord, as well as make more sense over a B bass). Actually this is making me rethink the spellings for the previous couple of systems where this melodic figure appears... not sure but I think it would make sense to change the spellings for this measure at least
- Courtesy En might be good in m. 70 beat 4
These have been changed, thanks! I also just noticed that the beam between beats 1 and 2 of measure 70 was split because of the grace note, so I merged them back together
#71
Project Archive / Re: Zeila's Halloween Sheet
October 23, 2021, 01:48:13 AM
Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 22, 2021, 10:33:26 AMIntense! I guess I never thought of this as halloween-esque, but I can really hear how it fits the theme.
It's mostly the name and setting really

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 22, 2021, 10:33:26 AM-m15-16, I agree with your decision to keep it moving here.  However, I think it wouldn't hurt to try and replicate the feeling of the original here with some accents.  Maybe an accent on beat 1 of both these measures in the LH?  Or a tenuto maybe would be better.
I ended up replacing those staccatos with tenutos, thanks for the suggestion!

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 22, 2021, 10:33:26 AM-m41, man playback in Finale doesn't like that haha.  I tried it on my own keyboard though and I like how you represented the sort of bend up to the G and F#'s here
Yeah grace note playback can be messy, especially when they're the start of an 8va

I implemented the rest, thanks for checking! c:
#72
Project Archive / Re: Zeila's Halloween Sheet
October 19, 2021, 06:35:30 PM
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 09, 2021, 02:27:45 PMoh is this the one Lena helped out on?

Only thing I notice is in measure 42, the second layer rh note on beat 2 has a Bb who's flat symbol runs into the first layer note. Maybe moving that first layer note back would help.
It is! Alongside Marcy Nabors who apparently composed for Homestuck. Anyways, thanks for looking it over! I fixed that and also decided to get rid of the glissando in measure 18

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 09, 2021, 02:27:45 PMAlso these accidentals hurt my brain (there are chords that have both flats and sharps in them and are spelt correct o.O)
They hurt my brain too
#73
Project Archive / Re: Jake_Luigi's Halloween Sheet
October 19, 2021, 06:07:09 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on October 19, 2021, 05:43:14 PM
Quote from: Zeila on October 05, 2021, 11:06:16 PMm18/19 RH it sounds like there are extra G's playing at the same time as the low G's in the LH, as well as one on beat 4.75 of m18
I think you have the voices a bit confused here. The left hand shouldn't be playing octaves - you have 4 notes at a time when this is a NES track with up to 3 voices. The lower octaves shouldn't be present when the left hand is playing the upper G's while the RH is playing dyads. Also, the last G 16th note in m. 18 is supposed to be one octave higher, in the right hand.
Sorry I should've been more clear, I meant that the upper G's that the RH were playing also seemed to play without the middle voice at the same time as the low G's of the LH (so every other sixteenth group of two). And yes I was referring to the right hand with the last G too. This is what I hear (with the first half of m19 the same):
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Of course I could still be wrong though, but hopefully this makes more sense
#74
Art / Re: Zeila's YouTube Art Dump
October 16, 2021, 12:26:11 PM
After many months of procrastination, I finally finished the cover for my unofficial version of a RWBY Piano Collections book \o/


Will I do another one of these? Most likely not, but if it ever did happen then it would maybe be for Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows. In other news, the goal is to get another drawing finished by the end of the month, but we'll see :')
#75
Nice job

- m13-18 I think it's worth adding the harmonies to select notes here. Most of the intervals are consistent so it wouldn't be that much harder to incorporate them
- m20 there's an A here like in m4
- m21-26 I think including some chord hits would be nice. It's pretty funky here and the current sheet is missing out on that. You could experiment with mixing up the chords w/ either the right hand or the left hand. Even doing something like m23 for all of those measures instead of incorporating octaves would be better imo. Here's a sample mock-up of modifying the LH instead of the RH, and feel free to do whatever with it. If you think keeping it the way you have it right now is better, then that's okay too
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- m23 LH beat 1.5 it sounds like there's a C playing here just like in m24 (also similar to m27/28 w/ the F instead)
- m32/40 LH beat 3.75-4.5 has a tied C