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Messages - Radiak488417

#1
Apologies for the long wait! Nice job arranging this for two pianos.

-Shota Kageyama arranged this particular track, so you should credit him by either adding him to the composer list or adding a separate line with "Arranged by Shota Kageyama" and then "Arranged for piano by amc"

Piano 2 LH m8-16: I'd recommend changing the low drum hits to G#s rather than C#s since G# is the tonic; making it the 4th adds harmonic info that isn't there in the original.

-Piano 1 LH m16: I like the idea of incorporating the conga fill here, but it sounds a bit more chromatic in the original. Maybe change the last 3 notes of it to C#-Cx-D# or E-E#-F#?

-Piano 2 LH m17-31: The bass here isn't just 8th octaves, there are some syncopations and other notes you're missing.

-Piano 1 RH m24, 25, 27, 28 & 29: I'm not hearing the 16ths on beat 1.25 and 2.25 here, and it sounds like the ones on beat 1.5 are G#s instead of D#s.

-Piano 1 RH m26: The 16ths on beats 1.25-1.5 and and 2.25-2.5 both should be D#-G#.

-Piano 1 RH m30 & 31: The 16ths on beats 1.25-1.5 and and 2.25-2.5 should be D#-G# and B-D# respectively.

-Piano 2 RH m24-31: You've made quite an admirable attempt, but believe it or not for the glockenspiel/chimes here I'm actually going to recommend that you take a look at a MIDI rip of this song to figure out the notes (which I've attached below). Why? Several reasons:

1. MIDI rips for DS and other types of sequenced tracks can be a useful tool to check your work against, especially for very dense and complex songs like this one.
2. The glockenspiel is in a pretty low register and has an extremely strong, out-of-tune overtone that overpowers the fundamental pitches, making it very difficult to tell what the actual notes are. All of the notes you have transcribed for this part are actually a 7th lower in the original track's sequence data, which I probably wouldn't have realized without checking it.
3. The part appears to have been composed at random, with no discernable repetition and borderline nonsensical use of notes, and I don't feel like it's worth either of our time to figure it all out by ear and then type up an insanely long post with all the individual corrections lol.

Quote from: Bloop on July 18, 2024, 04:54:28 AMAlrighty! Feel free to re-upload your Super Mario 3D World sheet too, since it was pretty close to being accepted ^^
Also want to make sure you didn't forget about this.
#2
Also hearing this as written, the pedal lift at 0:11 especially makes me hear that as the downbeat.
#3
Quote from: Static on February 01, 2025, 03:57:07 PMI think I still hear the D there, although there is also the E which I intentionally left out to thin out the chord a little.
I still don't hear it, is it in the synth or guitar? If you're confident it's there then that's fine, it's not a huge deal.
#4
Quote from: Static on January 19, 2025, 08:22:49 PMI already have both a C and D there unless you meant somewhere else?
Whoops, I meant E instead of C (so just Eaug instead of E7#5)
#5
m33 & m35 RH beat 4.75: I hear a C instead of a D here.
m34 & m36 RH beat 3. I hear a low G# (and maybe a C?) here.

That's all I have, pretty sick track.
#6
Wow this song is way cooler than I remember, probably because in-game you usually only hear like the first 30 seconds lol

-m1: Thoughts on having 2 sforzando or fortepiano dynamics here with a simile in m2? It could potentially help communicate that the dyads are meant to be especially quiet.

-m5-m19 LH: What would you think about including the quiet repeated chords like in m1-4? I think the arrangement loses a bit of rhythmic drive without them.

-m21-26: This section sounds a bit thin to me compared to the original, I think if you moved some of the string notes to the RH in layer 2 and included some of the lower fifths and stuff in the LH it would sound a lot fuller.

-m34 RH beat 4: missing an F on bottom.

-m35-37: The way you have these measures written out on piano looks and sounds very nice, but I'm hearing a large amount of the notes differently in the original. I'd highly recommend taking another listen and trying to incorporate some more of the quartal harmony and bass notes, I can make a mockup later if you want any ideas. These measures are obviously super dense and there's not one correct way to arrange them, I just think they could use a second pass for note accuracy.

-m38 LH: I'm hearing Bb-F and C-G fifths instead of F-C and Ab-Eb.
#7
Quote from: LeviR.star on September 26, 2024, 04:21:38 PM- I've used the footnote "triangle tom" in my chiptune Mega Man sheets for some time now. These are written in a way that they can be played with "substitute" pitches, or left out if the performer would rather represent them by stomping their feet or something. Leaving them out entirely would make the bass line feel empty, so that's why I do it this way
Ah I didn't realize you'd been using that footnote already. To me it still doesn't really convey what your stated intent with the X noteheads is, it just describes a timbral quality of the original track (which the performer may not have even heard). That being said it's probably worth keeping it consistent with all your other sheets, this is just my personal opinion.
#8
Quote from: LeviR.star on September 26, 2024, 04:36:23 PM- are you sure? Performers would have to nail that repetition consistently, is that manageable at ♩ = 150?
My personal rule of thumb for fast repeated notes with a single finger is that 2 in a row is fine, but anything over that is pushing it. Speaking of which, I didn't notice before but m13 has a few triple repeated notes in the RH and is pretty brutal at speed, thoughts on taking out the lower harmony there? The LH has the same notes so you wouldn't really lose any harmonic info.

Quote from: LeviR.star on September 26, 2024, 04:36:23 PM- this leads back to the point above. Side note, I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to format this lol
Yeah I probably should have attached a picture lol. Here's what I was thinking (mockup in musescore :P):


#9
Appreciate the Matsumae credit on this one haha. I vaguely remembered hearing she worked on this song but didn't know the full story until looking it up now, very cute and funny anecdote (for those curious, here's the context).

-I'm not entirely sure what your intent is with the X notes, were you meaning to imply that they're optional or that they should be percussion? I get that they're toms made with the triangle channel, but I don't think the phrase "triangle tom" adds much useful information to a pianist, and could be a bit confusing. Maybe just "X notes optional" if that's what you were going for?

-m20 RH beat 1: The grace note here sounds more like a 16th on the downbeat to me, but it's pretty subjective.

-Even though it reduces the number of accidentals, the sharp in m20 threw me for a loop when I was sightreading it; I think it could potentially be more intuitive to spell this part with flats and naturals instead. Admittedly this is not my area of expertise, so I'm curious what others' opinions on this would be.

-The exact same tom fills from m29 & m33 happen in m27 and m31, I'd include them there too for consistency's sake.

-Tempo could be moved down a bit.
#10
Great work on this one! Surprisingly playable lol.

-m5-10 RH beat 4: I understand the removal of the thirds here to make it easier, but I actually find the parallel thirds here pretty idiomatic (and fun) to play. Up to you though.

-m1-4 LH beat 1: I agree with simplifying the LH for the rest of the sheet, but I think you could get away with adding the second 16th here on beat 1.25.

-m13/14 LH beat 4.75/1: It feels a bit misleading to me to have a tied note here; since the RH isn't occupied you could put the A in the RH and then restrike the D on beat 1 in the LH.

-Tempo could be moved down a smidge.
#11
Quote from: NineLives on September 08, 2024, 06:50:09 PMFor measure seven, aside from playability, I wanted it to have this build up to the first chord of the next measure, since I hear it have that impact in a not-so-crescendo sort of way.
That's fair. Would you consider adding just the G on beat 3? I think that would improve the playability without adding too many other voices, since it lets you distribute your wrist weight more evenly.
#12
Cool piece! Only vaguely heard of this game before but the soundtrack is pretty nice.

-The tonic chord here is G major, so the keysig should be 1 sharp.

-m1 RH beats 2-4.5: There's a fair amount of other harmonic voices you don't have included here, I'm assuming for playability reasons (which I'd agree with if that's the case). You could maybe include the B on beat 2 though, since that doesn't add any awkward fast repeated notes like the ones on the 8ths would.

-m3 RH beat 3.5: missing a G on bottom; if you omitted it to avoid repeating the LH note then that's fine.

-m4 RH beat 3.5: missing a Bb on bottom.

-m5 RH beat 3.5: missing an A on bottom.

-m7 RH: Beat 2.5 is missing an E-G-B triad on bottom, beat 3 is missing an E-G dyad, and beat 3.5 is missing an E. Feel free to leave out some of these to make it more playable, on beat 2.5 especially.

-m10 RH beat 1: chord should be B-D-F#-A bottom to top.

-m14 RH beat 1: You could potentially include the downwards gliss here.

-m14 RH beat 4.666 & m15 RH beat 1 grace note: I think Fx would be preferable here (like in m11) since it's confusing to read a grace note on the same line as its parent note.
#13
Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 25, 2024, 08:33:36 AMRadiak could you reshare the images? I do not see them it them and following the links says "content unavailable".

Whoops, apologies. Here they are for real this time:

Option 1
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Option 2
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Option 3
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#14
We're so cloooooose!!!!

-m70 RH beat 3: I'm not entirely sure what extra information is conveyed by having the F# in both layers at once, I'd vote for removing it from layer 2.

-m91 beat 1.5: Personally I think the layer 2 G here distracts from the melody and it's pretty quiet in the original, thoughts on taking it out? In our Discord sessions I recall removing a lot of other similar background notes that repeat melody notes.

Quote from: Latios212 on July 21, 2024, 11:26:00 AM- I forget if Radiak had any final thoughts about the "I miss you" in m. 89, but I'm fine with it as written.
Yeah, I still pretty strongly disagree with notating this as distinct pitches since it's just spoken and not really meant to be a sung/played line. I proposed these 3 options in Discord but I'll reshare them here:

 Option 1
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 Option 2
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 Option 3
[close]
#15
Not much to say here, really nice work! My only suggestion is to tie beat 2.5 to beat 3 in the LH in m7/8/11/12/16, since the kick doesn't hit on beat 3 there.