I barely remember this piece lol
-The melody in the original is in octaves from m9 beat 1 to m20 beat 1. I think adding that in here could help differentiate the latter two sections from the first one texturally, as well as allow for more harmony. Thoughts on raising the whole RH by an octave and adding a lower octave doubling the melody for those measures?
-I think adding a crescendo in m8 to a mf in m9 would be appropriate here.
-m3 + m11 RH beat 2: Pretty sure I hear a D in these spots; I'd personally prioritize it over the Cs here since it's the 3rd and it's being resolved to from a sus4.
-m4 + m12: I hear an Eb in the RH on beat 1 and a Bb in the LH on beat 2, you could move the D on beat 2 to the RH if you want to keep a consistent number of voices per hand.
-m7 RH beats 2-2.6 sound like they're harmonized in 3rds like in m5. Also there are Ds on both beat 1 and 2, not sure if you left them out intentionally but figured I'd mention it.
-m15 RH beat 2: the melody note sounds to me like a D instead of a Bb.
-m16 RH: There's an upper voice on beats 1.6 and 2 that goes F -> Eb.
-m20 RH beat 2.3: bottom note should be a Db.
-m23 RH: There's a lower voice that goes Cn -> Bn here. There's also an Ab on beat 1, you could put it in voice 1 under the top Bb.
-The melody in the original is in octaves from m9 beat 1 to m20 beat 1. I think adding that in here could help differentiate the latter two sections from the first one texturally, as well as allow for more harmony. Thoughts on raising the whole RH by an octave and adding a lower octave doubling the melody for those measures?
-I think adding a crescendo in m8 to a mf in m9 would be appropriate here.
-m3 + m11 RH beat 2: Pretty sure I hear a D in these spots; I'd personally prioritize it over the Cs here since it's the 3rd and it's being resolved to from a sus4.
-m4 + m12: I hear an Eb in the RH on beat 1 and a Bb in the LH on beat 2, you could move the D on beat 2 to the RH if you want to keep a consistent number of voices per hand.
-m7 RH beats 2-2.6 sound like they're harmonized in 3rds like in m5. Also there are Ds on both beat 1 and 2, not sure if you left them out intentionally but figured I'd mention it.
-m15 RH beat 2: the melody note sounds to me like a D instead of a Bb.
-m16 RH: There's an upper voice on beats 1.6 and 2 that goes F -> Eb.
-m20 RH beat 2.3: bottom note should be a Db.
-m23 RH: There's a lower voice that goes Cn -> Bn here. There's also an Ab on beat 1, you could put it in voice 1 under the top Bb.