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Yet another piece from something different.

The Legend: [Musx] [Pdf] [Midi] [Mus]

I finally did the thing.

The Legend: [Musx] [Pdf] [Midi] [Mus]

If you're looking for suggestions, this is a possibility:

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Google sez Thanksgiving is celebrated in Liberia. Does that count you in, Libera? If so, cheers!

While I do not, in fact, live in Liberia, I certainly appreciate all of the sheets you've been putting out.  We're really getting there with 20 sheets now completed.

Sorry for my absence over the past few days, I've been a little busy.  Anyway, I'm around now so let's do some feedback woo.

Wow I really like the measure distribution, it looks great!

-The G#s in bar 4 should be Gn like the previous bar.  Possibly this was just an error when inputting the notes.
-I don't think the off beats change with the bass in bar 4.  But I can see why you might want to have what you've written.  Let me know your thinking here.
-A lot of the repeats are a little close to the staves, especially the final one with the D.C.  I'd move them all up a bit just to give the notes some more room to breathe.
-You're missing an En in the minim in bar 8.
-Bars 9-10 are interesting.  I'm hearing the harmony a little more complicated than you've written in, and I think there's more of a build up.  Obviously there's some degree of subjectivity as to how to voice everything, but:

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is what I can hear.
This isn't exactly how I'd do it myself, but I tried to make as few adjustments to your version as possible while making it.
-The off-beats in the left hand are seem quite low to me and give a much more heavy feel than the original in my opinion.  I understand that you probably wanted the notes on the beat to be at the correct octave, but I feel like we're losing more than we gain here.  There are two solutions I can see. 

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Solution 1 on the left and solution 2 on the right.  I'd recommend solution 2 as it's far easier to play, but solution 1 is the more accurate of the two.
-Missing D# and then A# under the top line in bar 27.

I think that's it for now.  It's quite short, but there's a lot of stuff in this one!  I'll give it another look when you've updated the files.

I'm positive this piece is in 5/8 (or in 5/4, but rewriting your current eighth notes into quarters, etc.). The accent on the 6th eighth note of every measure doesn't sound like a syncopation, but rather like another downbeat. The harmony also changes every 5 eighth notes, and harmonic syncopations tend to be used for effects, not constantly throughout a piece.

Agreed.  I'd probably go with 5/8 over 5/4 at double the tempo myself.  220bpm seems too fast for this piece personally.

Hi there and welcome to NSM!  Normally people post a link to the original when they make a submission to help with giving feedback.  I'll do it for you this time, but if you could do it yourself in future that would be great.

I'd take a look at our formatting guidelines so that you know what the sheet should look like.  If you need any help, just let one of us know, we're normally more than happy to help.

Sip-it (n.)- a beverage designed for careful drinking.

To continue the trend of doing some different stuff.

Cenwen: [Musx] [Pdf] [Midi] [Mus]

I'm just as unsure as you are - let's see what other people think.

What you've written certainly works, but yeah let's see if anyone else has anything to say on that bit.  Once we've come to a conclusion on that section I'm happy with this.

It's also fine as is...

Personal preference I guess; all I can do is give my thoughts.  If Levi is against it then it's not like I'm going to push it.

That could work but I think it'd be best to leave it on the upper staff with brackets as the staccatos and ledger lines don't seem to go together particularly nicely here.

I noticed this when going through the sheet as well and then somehow forgot about it when I wrote the post up.  I agree with you here.

Ok, checking properly now:

I don't often like to have my bars squished too much, but may we compromise and go 6 measures per system? To make up for it, I'll flesh out the spacing so page 2 gets 3 systems.
If your answer is yes, the files are already fixed.

That's cool, but I'd move one system from the second page to the first just so the systems on the first page don't look so spread out.  Having two systems on the last page is fine.

My areas of concern:
- "reachability" (i.e. m. 26, 27, 36)
- notating the last system for treble clef

-I personally don't have problem with the reaches since they're all 10ths and I can make them, but if you're worried then you can always bring the lower note in each case up an octave.
-Regarding treble for the last section, I don't have a problem with it.  But I am worried about the playability of that section in general due to how on top of each other the hands are (particularly bars 45-46 are very awkward to play.)

Onto my own feedback:
-I'd suggest putting in some lines to show where the inner part goes in bar 26.
-The D.C. is a little unclear at the moment since it's with a standard repeat bar.  I had a similar thing on one of my own sheets and Latios suggested 'D.S. 2nd X' which would obviously be 'D.C. 2nd X' in this case.  'D.C. 2nd time' would also work but is a few more letters.

I think that's all I've got; it's looking pretty nice.

Brassman checked this over two months ago and gave you feedback that you still haven't addressed.  More feedback can wait until then.

Things will go much faster if you fix everything that you can when you're available to and it also makes things much easier for updaters.  In other words, if you could address everything that's been brought up so far, that would be great.

There's no need to submit a sheet twice, you can just update the files on the old submission.  I'm going to delete this thread.

One of the nice things about reviewing people's sheets is that I often get to hear lots of nice pieces that I never would have listened to otherwise; this is definitely one of those times.  It looks pretty accurate so most of my comments aren't about notes.

-Saying that, the only thing I'm spotting note-wise is in bars 2, 6 and 14 I'm hearing an A in the bass like in bars 4, 8 and 16.
-I think this piece would probably be better written in C major throughout.  The Bbs all come come with those Bb chords which are just bVII chords in C major.  I'm also not sure it's worth the key signatures changes for only four bars at a time.
-Change the dotted rest in bar 8 to a crotchet and a quaver rest.
-I'd change the double dotted crotchet in bar 8 to a dotted crotchet + semiquaver for readability purposes, but if you want to keep it isn't not too bad.
-I'd suggest spacing out the systems on the first page a little bit more.  If you're worried about the second page looking less 'spacy' than the first then you could space that page out a little more to match as well.

Nice stuff.