[DELETED] [GCN] Super Mario Sunshine - "Intro" by E. Gadd Industries

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Sunshine
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Intro
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: E. Gadd Industries

[E. Gadd Industries]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/6xtrnky49iobv9g/01.%20Intro.mp3?dl=1

Yay for cinematics! I feel like this one will be a bit easier to deal with, outside of sifting through vocals. But as I said, yay for cinematics!

[Libera]

outside of sifting through vocals.

Ooh boy this is fun.

Anyway, here's some feedback!!

-Could we move the 8va in bar 1 a little more to the left to cover those notes?  I end up commenting this on a lot of submissions, and it's because the finale default 8va position really bugs me.
-Pedal markings in bar 5 should go below the bottom staff, not in the middle.
-I'd beef up the harmonies in bar 8 and 12 to match the bars around them.  It feels a little weird going from full chords in the right hand to just dyads.  You could just add in Cs under them (though it's fine to keep the last few notes in bar 12 as you have it.)
-I'd change the dotted staccato quavers in those bars to just staccato quavers; the rhythm feels easier to read that way.
-I don't think that the rests have to be measured for the 'Mario...?'.  For one, it just kind of looks strange on the sheet but also it doesn't even last exactly three bars in the original.  What I would do is just make a one bar rest, make the 'Mario...?' into a lyric underneath a diamond notehead minim (or anything really would work) and then put a direction of 'Dramatic pause' or something along those lines.  If you're wondering what to do with the distribution after you do that, I'd suggest something like this:

Spoiler

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-Move the performers note to the end of the sheet.  It's pretty in the way, so to speak, right at the top of the sheet and doesn't really need to be there.  The most important space is there and that should really be reserved for the title and game name etc.
-The bass is really hard to hear before bar 24, but bars 25 onwards I'm hearing some very different stuff going on in the bass.  It's got more complicated rhythms and moves notes more often (rather than staying on the same note as you've written in a lot of the bars.)  I'd give that section another pass before I get really into note accuracy there.  (I think the last three bars are fine though.)
-The crescendo is colliding with the pianissimo in bar 24.
-Maybe there's a better character indication for the piece?  I sort of see it working for the first few bars, but then it goes into this samba sort of thing that the indication doesn't really seem to have any relevance to.  You could just add another indication at bar 7 that fit better there.  (Disclaimer: samba is probably the wrong one; I'm really not good with my grooves, so you or someone else will probably know better than me.)
-The copyright should be brought to 0 vertical alignment rather than -0.28 something.  All five systems will still fit nicely on that first page, you'll just need to bring everything closer together.

But yeah, having vocals on top of everything is really annoying haha.  Still, I guess that's just what we have to deal with when doing cutscene music.

[Libera]

Bump.

[Libera]

E. Gadd let me know he's going to be busy for a while so I'll archive this in the meantime.