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[DELETED] [SNES] Chrono Trigger - "Guardia Millenial Fair" by Bobbythekid21

Started by Zeta, February 18, 2019, 11:02:21 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Chrono Trigger
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Guardia Millenial Fair
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bobbythekid21

Bobbythekid21

You'll notice that the BPM is set to (dotted quarter note) = 65. I know that the tempo is actually (dotted quarter note) = 64.5, I was told by someone else that I should just round it to 65. If I should go with the original tempo please let me know.
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Latios212

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2019, 01:51:58 PM
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Haven't looked at the rest yet, but for the part you asked for help on you use the lowest voice (what I had written for the LH part) for one measure then switched to another layer (the one I wrote in red) for the rest, shifted down by an octave. This is inconsistent (voices suddenly drop in / drop out), and I would recommend continuing with the bottom voice for the left hand part.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Bobbythekid21

Hmm... I didn't use the part that you gave me, I simply used audiostrech and did it my self.
So the part that I put in there are two differant voices?
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Latios212

Yeah. Take a closer listen and see if you can hear the independent lines I wrote in.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Bobbythekid21

Quote from: Latios212 on February 18, 2019, 06:51:12 PMYeah. Take a closer listen and see if you can hear the independent lines I wrote in.
Ok, I can kinda hear it now, it took me a while though. My version of finale can't add in another voice so I'm going to have to seek help, but I should be able to update it soon.
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Maelstrom

actually, you can.



See those numbers? Clicking to change it changes the layer you are in and lets you add a second line to the same staff.

Bobbythekid21

Quote from: Maelstrom on February 22, 2019, 01:34:19 PMactually, you can.



See those numbers? Clicking to change it changes the layer you are in and lets you add a second line to the same staff.
Oh, I thought those were page numbers... That's why it wasn't working too well...
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Bobbythekid21

Ok, everything's updated but not the .mid file because it said it couldn't upload it. So I'll just put it here:
MID
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Bobbythekid21

I'm not trying to be impatient or anything, I'm just wondering, is there something I need to do now? Maybe something I forgot or didn't know? Or am I just waiting for someone to check the sheet?
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]


Libera

Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 04:49:55 PMI'm not trying to be impatient or anything, I'm just wondering, is there something I need to do now? Maybe something I forgot or didn't know? Or am I just waiting for someone to check the sheet?

You're waiting for someone to check the sheet.  We will get to it, so in the meantime just try to be patient.

Libera

Quote from: Libera on February 25, 2019, 12:03:27 AMYou're waiting for someone to check the sheet.  We will get to it, so in the meantime just try to be patient.

Boo.



Ok so first things first I copied the arrangement into the standard NSM template to fix all of the margins/spacing issues, and also to decrease the staff size down to 0.65cm which nearly always looks good (in my opinion).  Here's the file (file); feel free to use it!  I'm going to give you a bunch of comments and I'd like to say that I haven't made any of these changes in the file I've given you.  That's because this is your first submission, and it'd be best for you to try and fix this stuff yourself to help you improve.  That being said, if you need any help with any of this, definitely ask away!  Now for the feedback:

-You wrote in the mordent in bar 1, but there are lots of other melodic flourishes throughout the piece that you haven't written in.  For example, in bars 12, 16, 20, 24, 28 and 33.  (Those are the ones I spotted, I only said 'for example' because there might be others I've missed.)  I'd really suggest adding these in, as they really help to give this piece its flavour.
-In bar 4 (and similar places), I personally would have gone with something like this:
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It's one of those things that's really easy for the performer to do and is more fitting than just a generic chord on that note (at least in my opinion).
-In bar 5 (and the subsequent bars) I'd write the lower part in a separate layer exactly as it is in the original.  Like this:
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-From bar 9 to bar 24 everything is an octave too high, so remove the 8va and change the 15ma to an 8va.  It also saves you from using the 8va -> 15ma transistion, which I'm not a huge fan of.
-The Ab in bar 36 should be a G# like you have in bar 40.
-More of a general comment for the whole sheet, but some of the staccatos don't feel right to me.  For example, I'd remove the staccatos on the semiquavers in bar 4 and if you're going to put a staccato on the third RH quaver of bar 3 then the sixth quaver should probably have one too.  There are others though; I'd have a look through the sheet and really think carefully about where you need the staccatos to go.
-Another general comment about the sheet: rhythm groupings.  These can sometimes be a bit tricky, especially to people just starting out at engraving, but I'll try and explain it briefly.  Latios made a pretty good guide for rhythm groupings in 4/4 but unfortunately we're in 6/8 here.  Luckily, the principle is the same: we want to group the first set of three quavers together, and then the second group of quavers together.  You'll notice in my picture of bar 5 with the new layer added in my beaming is a little different to yours, and that's because I'm following this principle.  Generally speaking, your groupings are pretty good but there are a few places (like that particular rhythmic figure that crops up all over this piece) that have incorrect groupings.  The most egregious are in the left hand in bars 36-43.  I'd have a check through the piece and see if you can fix it up so that the beats in the bar are shown correctly (but do let us know if you're struggling with that).
-Related to the above point is dotted rests.  General rule of thumb: don't use them.  There are few exceptions to that rule like dotted crotchet and minim rests in compound time (although I don't use dotted crotchet rests personally) but if you find yourself using a dotted rest (or a double dotted rest as you have in bar 45 and 49) ask yourself whether you should really be doing that, because the likelihood is that you shouldn't.  For example, the dotted quaver rests in bars 32-33 should be quaver semiquaver rests.
-Bars 36-43 are a little problematic.  Particularly the left hand changes parts part way through the phrase which feels very strange.  Latios has already shown you his mock-up which handles all of the parts very well.  Even if you don't want to use his, definitely this section needs another look at to keep the left hand consistent, if nothing else.
-There are more harmonies in bars 25-26 and 29-30 that not including removes the progression in those bars.  Also I think they'd be better an octave lower, something like this perhaps:
-Not 100% what you're writing in for the second layer in bars 32-35, but the thing that's really standing out to me is the Bns in the first two bars moving to C#s in the next two.  Particularly the Cn Bn clash is very noticeable.  Also, if the second layer part you're writing in is what I think it is, it's a little bit inaccurate.  Have another listen and see if you can hear the movement (it doesn't just stay on the same note in the first two bars).  I'd probably try and combine that with the part I mentioned to form a second layer below the melody, but there may be other options.
-Generally speaking, you might want to try and get more harmony into this arrangement.  Putting extra harmony where it fits below the melody line is a very common (and effective) method of doing this.
-There's a lot more you could do with dynamics than simply forte for the entire piece.  For example. the section bars 36-43 could definitely do with a lower dynamic, perhaps piano.  I'd have a closer think about how you could use the dynamics the translate the feel of the piece over to piano better.

I'm probably going to start falling asleep shortly, so that's all for now (although I think I got most of it anyway).  The good news is that the notes seemed pretty accurate to me, but I'll give them another check later as well (particularly as they'll be more of them to check next time).  Hope that helps, and, as always, if you have any question be sure to ask!

Bobbythekid21

Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PMHere's the file (file); feel free to use it!
That is a musx file. As you know, I'm stuck with notepad 2012 and I can only open mus files. You can see here under "Converting to Finale 2012 from 2014 and later" how to export to a mus file if you didn't already know.
Also, do select all to copy and paste?
Edit:
Quote from: Libera on March 10, 2019, 05:32:55 PMThese can sometimes be a bit tricky, especially to people just starting out at engraving, but I'll try and explain it briefly.
Also, I've never done engraving before.  ;)
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Libera