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[Wii] Super Paper Mario - "Mimi Battle" by Bloop

Started by Zeta, May 14, 2019, 09:25:20 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Paper Mario
Game: Super Paper Mario
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Mimi Battle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop

[attachment deleted by admin]

Bloop


Static

Always glad to see more Super Paper Mario! Nice sheet.

Some stuff:
  • The "LH" at the beginning is unnecessary since you already have that F moved down. If you want to keep the marking for extra clarity, I would move it down a bit more so its closer to the bottom staff.
  • m2, 6 beats 1-4 RH: Since layer 2 is hidden here, the staccatos should all be flipped, as well as beat 4.5 of both measures.
  • m13 beat 1.5 RH: I think you meant to put a slur here.
  • m15 beats 5-6 LH: I hear this line moving downward more like beats 5-6 of m18.
  • There's some extra room at the bottom of page 1 that you can use so the top title/composer info isn't so cramped.

Bloop

oops life took over

Fixed! I think I accidentally left that L.H. in in the first measure.

Latios212

Just taking a peek right now:
- You could just make the hypermeter 2 measures throughout instead of having a 3-measure system and a 1-measure system
- I'd suggest moving the staccatos over the notes in the first half of m. 2 and similar places, before the other layer comes in
- Eighth rests in m. 4-5 could be moved back to normal mid-staff height
- Move last eighth rest in m. 7 up a bit to avoid touching the half note E. Similar near collision in m. 8 second eighth rest
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Bloop

I think I prefer the hypermeter this way, because if it's 2 measures per system, all the new melodies start on the 2nd measure of a system instead of the first (for m. 5 until 16 to be exact, which is pretty much just more than half of the piece). I especially like having the 7/4 and 6/4 parts start in a new system, instead of halfway through.
I fixed everything else though!

Static

I think the measure distribution is fine how it is, for Bloop's reasons basically. I have nothing else to say that hasn't already been said here, so I will approve.

Latios212

Alright it's fine if you want to keep it that way :P

Looks good, just tiny final things - the slash at the end of the URL, and the composer information should probably use "and" instead of a comma. (Also I think the game title is a bit close to the track title and could be moved down a bit)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Bloop


Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot