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Food/Cooking Update

Started by Libera, January 26, 2020, 01:46:34 PM

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Libera

Latios212

Gourmet Race
-Sometimes the bass contour doesn't quite line up with the original, like bar 26 for example where the bass goes down to the G twice, rather than up and then down.  I assume it's to avoid the consecutive Gs but worth mentioning anyway.
-I think that, once again, there are places that slurs could go a long way to help with clarity in the articulation, particularly in bars 49-50.

Teatime Joy
-The harp part just goes MIA in bars 2-3 for some reason?  Maybe you didn't hear it because it's kind of quiet?
-A missing D on the second beat of bar 12?  Although I don't hear it in bar 29 so it may just be my ears playing tricks on me.
-There's a Bn and Cn on beats 1 and 2 of bar 13 in the pizz strings part.  Same for bar 30.
-Harp part disappears again in bars 19 and 20.  And doesn't feature in 38 either.
-You lose the sus4 sound on beat 2 of bar 34 by omitting the lower Cn.  Maybe try putting one just below the melody Dn?  You did it before elsewhere so might work here too.

mastersuperfan

Quote from: Radiak488417 on February 06, 2020, 12:26:39 AMPokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky: "Apple Woods"

[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF]


- The left hand goes pretty low in terms of ledger lines. Perhaps you could use a "Play L.H. one octave lower than written" at the beginning, say then "Play L.H. as written" at m49, then switch back to "Play L.H. one octave lower than written" at m61? Just a suggestion.
- m45-46 RH sounds like you could make each beat two 8th notes instead of one quarter note, with the second 8th note of each beat having only the upper two notes from the previous 8th note.
- m47 RH beat 2 sounds like E-C-E, with no A.
- Courtesy natural on m51 RH G.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Radiak488417

Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 09, 2020, 04:57:55 PM- m45-46 RH sounds like you could make each beat two 8th notes instead of one quarter note, with the second 8th note of each beat having only the upper two notes from the previous 8th note.
I had considered this, but I didn't do it for some reason. On second listen it makes sense so I've added it.  I've implemented all your other feedback as well, I just need someone to hide the 8vas for me.

Static

Code_Name_Geek - Stardew Valley - Frozen Pizza and Eggs (Shane's Theme)
- Looks good.
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Code_Name_Geek - Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility - Cooking
- Looks good.
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Code_Name_Geek - Persona 5 - Big Bang Burger March
- Looks good.
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Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on February 08, 2020, 10:35:38 PMThanks for taking a look!
No problem!
Static - Funny Funny (The Kitchen of Danger)
Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 11:34:38 AMI'd suggest widening the staves in m. 37 to make more room for the dynamics. That's it!
- Done.
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Sebastian - Cooking With Zess. T
Implemented most of the changes mastersuperfan suggested, with a few exceptions:
- In Finale, it might sound like there's a lot of contrast already in m10-15 LH, but I think for a performer, there's no harm in being very explicit about what you want a section to sound like; it's better than leaving information out. That's how I see it at least.
- I don't hear what you have for m15 at all, but I do hear both a E and G on beat 3.5, so I've added that.
I also made some extra changes:
- Slur at the end of m16 goes to RH in m17 instead of LH, and the notes on beat 1 of m17 are no longer doubled.
- Added bass notes to m16-19.
- Moved around some notes/accidentals so nothing touches.
- Added Intelligent Systems to copyright info.
- I chatted with msf about this, and we agree about all these changes except for m15 LH, so if a third person could take a look, that would be helpful. Once this is dealt with, I can approve.
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Radiak448417 - Apple Woods
- All the changes you made look good, including m57 and 59 (same goes for changes for msf's feedback, looks good).
- I'd actually prefer 8vb lines here over text prompts. It's just easier to follow and shows the reader exactly what to do.
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Libera - Fantastical Feast
- m22, 23 beat 1.25: Any reason for the double sharps here? It doesn't fit the chord here, or the intervals with other similar measures.
- m32 beat 4.5 should be an Ab to match everything around it.
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Libera - Agh! Won goph in mah mouph! Blech! Ptooey!
- What is this title
- m21, 25 beat 4 RH (10th 8th note): Sounds like there should be some more dissonance here (sounds like Bn and Eb)
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Libera - Hungry March
- Looks good, but you might want to consider making the chord in m11 a tremolo too, bc the marimba comes back in. Up to you though.
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Static

Forgot to put this in the post above, but Yoob's Belly also get's my approval.

LeviR.star

Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 02:53:46 PM
Crash! Gourmet Race - LeviR.star
Other than the above, I think for m. 3 it'd be better to just have the chords strike twice rapidly in succession each time, if playability was the concern here. I think the 16th notes after the chord sound a little odd and with this speed is not unreasonable to just play the chord twice as fast as possible.
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Addressed everything here, and updated the file in my folder.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Radiak488417

Quote from: Static on February 09, 2020, 07:10:31 PMI'd actually prefer 8vb lines here over text prompts. It's just easier to follow and shows the reader exactly what to do.

Done.


Radiak488417

Rubikium, I accidentally sent my original feedback post before I was finished with it, but it's done now.

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on February 09, 2020, 03:06:46 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 11:34:38 AM- m. 16 is missing the pickup to m. 17.
Yeah I think that got deleted somehow, not entirely sure.  Thanks for spotting it.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 11:34:38 AM- Maybe staccatos would be nice on the bass notes in beat 4 of m. 23 to best 3 of m. 24?
They don't feel staccato in the sense that the others are to me... but I put tenuto staccatos on them as a compromise for you.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 09, 2020, 11:34:38 AM- I think some of those chords at the end would be better off using flats (the D#/C#/G# chords in particular). Up to you though.
If you swap some of the more annoying ones to flats then you end up swapping between sharps and flats on different chords, and then the short melody lines don't make much sense and it's just a bit ugly.  I think it's better as is.

Thanks for having a look; file updated.
No problem, looks good! Approved. (Still pending Static's feedback though)

Quote from: LeviR.star on February 09, 2020, 07:20:35 PMAddressed everything here, and updated the file in my folder.
Cool, looks good.

Quote from: Libera on February 09, 2020, 03:39:51 PMLatios212

Gourmet Race
-Sometimes the bass contour doesn't quite line up with the original, like bar 26 for example where the bass goes down to the G twice, rather than up and then down.  I assume it's to avoid the consecutive Gs but worth mentioning anyway.
-I think that, once again, there are places that slurs could go a long way to help with clarity in the articulation, particularly in bars 49-50.

Teatime Joy
-The harp part just goes MIA in bars 2-3 for some reason?  Maybe you didn't hear it because it's kind of quiet?
-A missing D on the second beat of bar 12?  Although I don't hear it in bar 29 so it may just be my ears playing tricks on me.
-There's a Bn and Cn on beats 1 and 2 of bar 13 in the pizz strings part.  Same for bar 30.
-Harp part disappears again in bars 19 and 20.  And doesn't feature in 38 either.
-You lose the sus4 sound on beat 2 of bar 34 by omitting the lower Cn.  Maybe try putting one just below the melody Dn?  You did it before elsewhere so might work here too.
I'll get to this tomorrow if I can!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Th3Gavst3r

[MUL] Monster Hunter Generations

Proudly Serving Fondue, Bon Appétit ~ Ingredient Selection!
[musx]
                         

mastersuperfan

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

McDucky

Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on February 09, 2020, 08:49:01 PM[MUL] Monster Hunter Generations

Proudly Serving Fondue, Bon Appétit ~ Ingredient Selection!
[musx]
                         

Nice  :)
The key signature should be G major and I think you can fit in the little figure/melody at the end of the second measure.
Something along these lines
Spoiler
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Or if your left hand is feeling restless
Spoiler
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LeviR.star

#103
[levi snip]
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Libera

Quote from: LeviR.star on February 10, 2020, 02:40:34 PMSike! Added an old arrangement, [GB] Balloon Kid - "Shrimp Boss", to my folder as my official last sheet for this project. Can't believe I forgot about it...




Don't worry, it's short.

Quote from: Libera on January 26, 2020, 01:46:34 PMWe'll need to receive submissions no later than (February 9th) so that we have enough time to check the sheets!

Sorry, but there was a deadline.  Maybe if everything else gets done in enough time we can have a look at it, but absolutely no promises.