[NDS] Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies - "Cave Waltz" by fi_le

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Dragon Quest
Game: Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Cave Waltz
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: fi_le

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[Zeila]

Welcome to NSM (at least for the posting part)! In the future you should put the youtube video alongside a new submission:

Anyways, nice attempt! I ended up doing the edits while going over yours so you can cross reference the newer version with yours alongside the notes I put down. Apart from what I wrote, I do think that it sounds too empty compared to the original at this point and this sheet would really benefit from incorporating the other harmony voice in some way or another

Formatting:

• all flats should be written as the enharmonic equivalent sharps
• tempo sounds more like quarter = 130; also the tempo marking is out pretty far imo
• https instead of http; also I think the convention is to use commas instead of slashes in the copyright
• the text isn't properly aligned with the margins, as the offsets should be zero according to the top (title), right (composer/arranger), and bottom (copyright) margins; since the text then gets overlayed on top of the staves, you can resize and lower the systems to make it look neater
• you can resize the staff systems by clicking on the page layout tool, then going to the page layout tab; 0.70cm looks fine imo

Notes:

• m5-8 LH I think the first beats should be lowered an octave as that's what it sounds like in the original and there should be time to move to the other notes
• m9 and 11 LH the notes should be a B, F# and A instead of F#, A, and B
• m10 LH beat 2 and 3 should be an A and F# respectively
• m12 LH beat 2 and 3 should be an F# and B respectively
• m15 LH beat 3 should be a C instead of D
• m16 LH beat 2 and 3 should be C and A respectively
• m19 LH beat 1 should be a B instead of D; same for m20 beat 3
• m21 LH beat 1 sounds like it should be lowered an octave and beat 2 should be G# instead of G (m22 beat 3 as well)
• m23 and 24 LH should be the same as m21 and 22, except the last note of m24 should be an E
  
• m25 beat 2 and m26 beat 3 LH should be D# instead of E
• m28 beat 3 LH should be A instead of E
• m30 RH last 3 notes should be A, B, and E
• m31 RH last 4 notes should be B, D#, F, and B

[Cave Waltz edit]

P.S. I saw your demo for the new banner and I think it looks cute, nice job :3

[fi_le]

Hi Zeila!

That's like... ear magic, thanks for all the corrections.

I wasn't able to improve the formatting beyond your edit (except for the "https"), I'm really confused why using a template from the "What should your sheet music look like" thread didn't protect me from this kind of problem. Maybe things derailed when I deleted some measures?

Well, the URL seems to be incorrect on the template as well though, it's the 3/4 one from the first post of this thread. Should we fix that?

I do think that it sounds too empty compared to the original at this point and this sheet would really benefit from incorporating the other harmony voice in some way or another

Yes, I agree. I tried to add more from the other voices, but couldn't quite make it work.

P.S. I saw your demo for the new banner and I think it looks cute, nice job :3

Great to hear!

[Static]

Looks really nice! I just have a few comments...

• m15 RH: Beat 3 should be D#, not D natural.
• m18 RH: This sounds like it should just be a held note in the violin (F#, tied to m18). You don't include the harp parts when the melody plays elsewhere so I wouldn't include it here, just for consistency.

• m25 beat 2 and m26 beat 3 LH should be D# instead of E

  Actually, these should be Ebs here, it's an A half diminished 7th chord, or A7b5 (A-C-Eb-G).
• m29 RH: I would add the B from the melody in another layer to indicate that the melodic line continued. When playing the piece, the note is redundant and it will sound the same, but the way you wrote that part makes it look like the melody includes the arpeggios, which it does not.
• Copyright info should use commas instead of slashes. Also there should be a space between Square and Enix.

I also made the changes for you, which you can view here. If you have any questions please ask! Otherwise, if this is good, feel free to upload these files.

Well, the URL seems to be incorrect on the template as well though, it's the 3/4 one from the first post of this thread. Should we fix that?

Yes, we should someday... That guide is kind of old... The biggest thing is https since that's what the site uses now, and yeah, commas are preferred over slashes. The margin stuff isn't really in the guidelines but that's stuff that messes up everyone (me included lol) just bc of how the program works sometimes. Margins and text boxes are weird...

[Bespinben]

tempo sounds more like quarter = 130; also the tempo marking is out pretty far imo[/li][/list]

Just want to chime in here on this real quick. The tempo marking should be left-aligned with the time signature indication.

Elaine Gould, Behind Bars, pg. 183

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[fi_le]

Looks really nice! I just have a few comments...

Yup, thanks a lot for your improvements! I don't quite understand the thing in m 29, but you're the pro. To be honest, in my ten years of piano playing I've never looked up what it means when a note is in the same place twice with two different lengths. You see I'm learning a lot here :)

Just want to chime in here on this real quick. The tempo marking should be left-aligned with the time signature indication.

Elaine Gould, Behind Bars, pg. 183

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Interesting! And fixed, I hope: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1jDvkXd-bmBDIrqATeDjc_rIL9YQl0W2b?usp=sharing

[Static]

Yup, thanks a lot for your improvements! I don't quite understand the thing in m 29, but you're the pro. To be honest, in my ten years of piano playing I've never looked up what it means when a note is in the same place twice with two different lengths. You see I'm learning a lot here

It's just a way to distinguish the 2 separate melodies visually. I guess the closest thing to compare it to is 2 sentences where the 2nd one starts on the same word that the first ends on. You still have to write that word twice. A little different, but maybe that helps. There's always a lot to learn when it comes to music notation lol, even for me.

The tempo marking fix looks great, as does everything else, so I'll go ahead and give this one an approval.

[Latios212]

Awesome job! Just a couple small things from me:
- Missing a dynamic marking at the beginning.
- I would suggest moving the A in the left hand on beat 3 in measure 16 down an octave to keep the bass lead-in to the next note (similar to m. 28).

I can make edits for you if you like. Let me know!

[Latios212]

I'm going to get the above couple things for you since they're super small and accepting!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot