Nine Lives' Replacements

Started by NineLives, May 31, 2020, 10:22:54 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Maelstrom

Why use bonus intro? The sheet on the site simply labeled "bonus" has the notes an octave higher like Swanky's Swing so I'm not sure why you're not doing that one instead. I can't seem to find bonus intro in any official OSTs or anywhere. Do you know any more background behind it and the difference in-game?
Still on bonus medley:
m12/16 LH - first 2 notes are An, then the next 2 are Ab. The 5th is as written.
RH m23 - Bottom notes on the chords here is an E, not an F#. This applies to m41 as well.
RH m33 - Pretty sure there's no staccatos here. B2 is also a D, not an E.
m36 b3 - Notes here are D-D#, not C#-D
RH m39:

LH m28/29/30+36/37   - b2 should be a G#, b3 a A.
LH m38 - b3 is a G#, like b4.
RH m41 - Final 8th note is an F which leads properly into the bonus win section.
m42 - Sorry I gave you the wrong thing on LH b3-4 previously. The note is right between the B and C but the C makes more sense in context.

To incorporate the bonus lose, you could have a 2nd ending and some sort of performance note that says "play one depending on the outcome" or something. Up to you though.

Treetop Tumble
Pretty solid overall. For m25-end, I would recommend putting the dynamics above the staves because they only apply to the Rh here. I would also recommend pasting m31 over m32 Rh and extending the dim all the way to end and having it end in a niente rather than having it just drop out. 


Treetop Rock
LH:
m4 - All Es here should be Dbs. This is true for all instances of this phrase.
m36 b2.5 - the F is an octave lower

RH:
m9 - the bend up is from a F, not an F#
m10 - b2.5 is an E tied to a not-staccato e on b3.
m14 - b4 - Quarter, not an 8th.
m15-16 - It's repeatedly hit. If you don't want to include that, at least include the final strike on b1 of m16.
m18 b4 - the quarter is restruck on b4.5

General:
No restatement of the swing in m61? It comes back.
I'd recommend breaking a lot of your 8th beams over rests. They make sections like 49-60 hard to parse in the 2nd half of each measure. Breaking all instances that look like the first half wouldn't hurt either.

Snakey Chantey feedback coming soon

NineLives

Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMWhy use bonus intro? The sheet on the site simply labeled "bonus" has the notes an octave higher like Swanky's Swing so I'm not sure why you're not doing that one instead. I can't seem to find bonus intro in any official OSTs or anywhere. Do you know any more background behind it and the difference in-game?
I showed in the links from the comment before that they were, in a general sense, the same song but with different instrumentation. The section that you want up an octave is played in an octave higher on the piano in "Swanky's Swing," but is, what I hear, a sax in the current octave in "Bonus Intro." This particular version of the song, for the concern of background, is played before the bonus room, where you'd see the "Destroy them all!" or "Find the token!" messages.
Quote from: NineLives on November 29, 2020, 09:27:06 PM"Bonus Intro"
"Swanky's Swing"
On the subject of changes, I believe I've got 'em all but this one:
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMTo incorporate the bonus lose, you could have a 2nd ending and some sort of performance note that says "play one depending on the outcome" or something. Up to you though.
I'll be getting to adding it in soon.

Latios212

Brothers Bear
Quote from: Maelstrom on November 29, 2020, 07:04:17 PMBrothers Bear
Looks like something broke the tremeloes.
Due to this, I made the following edits:
- m. 2 beat 1.5 RH should be B
- m. 4 beat 1.5 RH should be E
- Respelling the LH of m. 6 to keep parallel fifths
- D's in m. 7-8 RH should be D#s
- m. 10 LH should ascend G A B C, not G A A# B. Also should be written in fifths like the rest of the piece.
- Redistributed measures so first system isn't cramped with 4 measures and last system isn't stretched with 2. Also respaced them a bit

Let me know if this is good and I'll accept.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

NineLives

#63
Looks good to me.
Also, the medley now has a "Bonus Lose" section ready for review.

Maelstrom

Quote from: NineLives on December 10, 2020, 01:55:03 PMI showed in the links from the comment before that they were, in a general sense, the same song but with different instrumentation. The section that you want up an octave is played in an octave higher on the piano in "Swanky's Swing," but is, what I hear, a sax in the current octave in "Bonus Intro." This particular version of the song, for the concern of background, is played before the bonus room, where you'd see the "Destroy them all!" or "Find the token!" messages.
I agree that they sound like different octaves, but I'm not sure you addressed my argument for using Swanky's Swing instead.
That being
a) it's in the official OST and thus more well known
b) the sheet on the site you are replacing has the octave placement of Swanky's Swing, not bonus intro which makes me think that the song arranged here is not bonus intro.

Additionally,
-Move the tempo lower
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMRH m23 - Bottom notes on the chords here is an E, not an F#. This applies to m41 as well.
This includes b1.5 in both places. 
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMLH m28/29/30+36/37   - b2 should be a G#, b3 a A.
Bonus Lose
-First 2 notes in both hands are a D#-E
-Final LH note is an F, not a Ab.
Honestly not sure how I feel about including the harmonica or whatever harmony. It masks the main voice and it wasn't included previously in the piece so it feels kinda out of place. If you really do want to include it, at least add a C to the final chord to round out the sound of it.

As for integration, this isn't really what I had in mind... Make the bonus win a 1st ending but delete the repeat sign and end bracket. You can actually then just edit the text to look something like this, or delete the text and add a larger dynamic or something


Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMTreetop Rock
m10 - b2.5 is an E tied to a not-staccato e on b3.
This is for the next updater to check, otherwise I approve

Treetop Tumble
Approved

Snakey Chantey coming either after I eat supper or tomorrow night

Maelstrom

Snakey Chantey
Finally. Alright, here we go.

You did a pretty great job with these chords, to be honest.
m24 and similar after simplification for playability to avoid repeated/too many notes


That's .... actually it. Great job.

Latios212

#66
Brothers Bear

Quote from: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 10:48:22 AMLooks good to me.

Accepted :)



Treetop Tumble
- Key should be C minor (3 flats). The lone A natural in m. 10 is borrowed from the major mode.
- The way m. 1-17 and 17-23 are written now seems to me to imply something a bit different from what the original sounds like. How about removing the extra C's under beats 2 and 4 and putting accents on those top notes instead?
- m. 8 should use a dotted quarter like m. 24
- m. 11 should use a dotted half
- For the hairpins above m. 26/28 I'd recommend writing a dynamic (like pp) at the end, before the mf. It currently could easily be interpreted as "reduce in volume from something to mf".
- You can fit this on two pages by putting 6 systems on page 2. I'd recommend reducing the space between LH and RH staves aside from the first couple systems to around 0.9-0.95" (since it's pretty empty right now) to make more space between systems.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

NineLives

All right. Changes to "Treetop Tumble" and "Bonus Medley" have been made. I think I got the endings for medley set the intended way, without the repeat and such. I'll get to simplifying "Snakey Chantey" in a bit.
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 13, 2020, 02:30:51 PMI agree that they sound like different octaves, but I'm not sure you addressed my argument for using Swanky's Swing instead.
That being
a) it's in the official OST and thus more well known
b) the sheet on the site you are replacing has the octave placement of Swanky's Swing, not bonus intro which makes me think that the song arranged here is not bonus intro.
The reason I used the title "Bonus Intro" in the first place instead was because it's the title/version related to the bonus rooms of the game, like the rest of the songs used in the sheet. The "Swanky's Swing" title/version is used for the quiz game completely unrelated to the bonus rooms, so it felt more standalone than part of a bigger picture. If it'd make more sense to title the overall sheet to "Bonus Room Medley" so it's more specific, I could do that.
For your B statement, I don't quite understand. You are referring to the G-Han/DoKoCo "Bonus" sheet, yes?

Latios212

Treetop Tumble
Quote from: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 08:26:43 PMAll right. Changes to "Treetop Tumble" and "Bonus Medley" have been made.
Gotcha, looks good. I adjusted the spacing a little further on page 2 and accepted.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Maelstrom

Quote from: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 08:26:43 PMAll right. Changes to "Treetop Tumble" and "Bonus Medley" have been made. I think I got the endings for medley set the intended way, without the repeat and such. I'll get to simplifying "Snakey Chantey" in a bit.The reason I used the title "Bonus Intro" in the first place instead was because it's the title/version related to the bonus rooms of the game, like the rest of the songs used in the sheet. The "Swanky's Swing" title/version is used for the quiz game completely unrelated to the bonus rooms, so it felt more standalone than part of a bigger picture. If it'd make more sense to title the overall sheet to "Bonus Room Medley" so it's more specific, I could do that.
For your B statement, I don't quite understand. You are referring to the G-Han/DoKoCo "Bonus" sheet, yes?
Please excuse the B statement, I was confusing myself.

Did you make the changes to token tango? I don't see the changes I quoted myself saying in my most recent post...

Additionally, a final ending line would be nice for the end of m43.
And having the bonus lose and bonus win on the final page in their entirety would make it easier to see what's going on and I would recommend that.

This one's very close

NineLives

#70
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 14, 2020, 08:30:27 PMDid you make the changes to token tango? I don't see the changes I quoted myself saying in my most recent post...

Additionally, a final ending line would be nice for the end of m43.
And having the bonus lose and bonus win on the final page in their entirety would make it easier to see what's going on and I would recommend that.
All right. I got the sheet updated now. I also put the repeat back on measure 39 for "Token Tango." I thought that'd be okay to have.
In addition, I got a bit of simplification implemented into "Snakey Chantey," but I'm sort of holding back a bit on it 'cause I'm unsure what'd sound okay simplified.

Maelstrom

Not sure if I worded it weirdly, but I meant the thing I posted is the simplified version

NineLives

#72
Oh. I'll get to changing the rest back then. Done.

Maelstrom

Both look great and are finally Approved

Static

#74
Bonus Intro
  • m1-8 is Ab Major, and m9-21 are in Db minor, so I don't think it makes sense to use 5 flats for the key signature. If I were you, I would just stick with 4 flats the whole way through.
  • Because the latter half of this is Db minor, all B naturals should be Cbs, all E naturals should be Fbs, and all A naturals should be Bbbs. You might be thinking, "should I just write this in C# minor instead?" and my response is: no, actually I would prefer to just stick with flats since that's what the first part of the piece was in.
Bonus Lose
  • This lick is in F minor, so the 16th note pickups should be Eb-En instead of D#-En.

Some general things for Bonus Medley:
  • For a medley sheet, in my opinion I think it's preferable to have them all be written completely separately. However, I think integrating some portions of different tracks are fine; but what I'm trying to say here is that you should indicate that the actual "Bonus Win/Lose" tracks are just those final 2 measures; m40-41 and 44-45 should be optional.
  • Likewise, you don't need the courtesy key change at m21; this should just be a double barline.
  • Let me know what you think or what ideas you have about this and I can help implement those changes for you.

Snakey Chantey
  • Any time you have two tied 8th notes on beats 1.5 or 3.5 (like m31 RH), it should just be a quarter note.
  • I am aware this would require major reworking of the entire arrangement, but I think the piano part would better if it was a lower RH layer (doesn't even have to be a 2nd layer, just add the notes to the RH melody). The piano rhythms line up with the accented notes in the melody, and there's spots where the piano is the only thing playing with the bass and you still have it in the LH (like m37-38). I highly encourage you to play around with it. If you want some ideas or examples, let me know.