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Author Topic: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements  (Read 702 times)

Code_Name_Geek

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Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« on: June 01, 2020, 02:19:53 AM »

Here are my submissions for this project. I included the changes I made from the original arrangements if anyone's curious - let me know if they aren't significant enough to warrant an "edited by" tag.


Harvest Moon 64
Bar Theme | Edit - original arranger: WiiMan96
Mountain Theme Moon Mountain* | Replacement
Summer | Edit - original arranger: Nintendude73

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life
Breeze | Edit - original arranger: WiiMan96
Gustafa's Tent Gustafa's Yurt (Jovial Gustafa)** | Replacement


*"Moon Mountain" is the official name for the in-game location where this track plays, so I think it's a more appropriate title.

**"Gustafa's Yurt" is the common English title for this one, but according to the official OST the Japanese title translates as "Jovial Gustafa" (though I've also seen "Silly Gustafa").

Edits
Bar Theme:
-fixed formatting
-added slurs to the grace notes
-added 2nd layer and dynamics to distinguish 1st and 2nd statements of melody

Summer:
-fixed formatting
-added to melody at m. 3 to better represent original
-fixed some notes and rhythms in the melody
-added some articulations and fixed some beaming issues
-fixed bassline in 2nd half

Breeze:
-fixed formatting and some notation issues
-added slurs to grace notes
-re-arranged left hand in second half to incorporate bassline more
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« Last Edit: June 03, 2020, 07:10:23 PM by Code_Name_Geek »
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Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2020, 07:08:30 PM »

And that's all the arrangements I've got for this project.
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2020, 04:23:37 AM »

I have some feedback, but overall nice work!

Bar Theme

  • bass line sounds more separated so I think the two quarter notes should be eighth notes followed by eighth rests
  • every eighth note on beat 1 of even measures sounds staccato'd to me
  • I don't hear the sixteenth notes on beat 3 of m10 and 14, and hear something like this instead (incorporating two different voices into layer 2):
    Spoiler
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Moon Mountain

  • I think it's worth adding the 5th's on top of the LH for the first 4 measures at least, but if you think it wouldn't fit with the rest of the arrangement then that's fine
  • if you're going to hide the rests on m5 and alike, then you could flip the staccato so that it rests on top of the note instead of below (just as easy as pressing 'f' while it's selected)
  • this is nitpicky but you could move the hook of the 8va closer to the whole note instead of ending it at the end of the measure
  • I think it's better to include the note on beat 4.5 of measure 6 for the melody

Breeze

  • I'd personally halve the note values and tempo marking in this one
  • m1 LH should be an octave lower

Gustafa's Yurt

  • m24 LH could be staccato'd to reflect the pizzicato of the strings and to contrast with the measure before it
  • you should put more space between the arpeggio marking and the notes/staff by right clicking the measure and editing measure attributes
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Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2020, 07:47:07 PM »

Bar Theme

  • bass line sounds more separated so I think the two quarter notes should be eighth notes followed by eighth rests
  • every eighth note on beat 1 of even measures sounds staccato'd to me
  • I don't hear the sixteenth notes on beat 3 of m10 and 14, and hear something like this instead (incorporating two different voices into layer 2):
    Spoiler
    [close]
- You're totally right about the bassline being more separated - I did that with staccatos instead of eighth notes because I thought it looked a little cleaner, hope that's alright!
- Those measures were really hard to hear, thanks for clarifying. Fixed as well.

Moon Mountain

  • I think it's worth adding the 5th's on top of the LH for the first 4 measures at least, but if you think it wouldn't fit with the rest of the arrangement then that's fine
  • if you're going to hide the rests on m5 and alike, then you could flip the staccato so that it rests on top of the note instead of below (just as easy as pressing 'f' while it's selected)
  • this is nitpicky but you could move the hook of the 8va closer to the whole note instead of ending it at the end of the measure
  • I think it's better to include the note on beat 4.5 of measure 6 for the melody
- Fixed all of the above.
- I actually didn't hear those 5ths until you pointed them out, but since the rest of the arrangement is busier having them for the intro only seems like a good idea.

Breeze

  • I'd personally halve the note values and tempo marking in this one
  • m1 LH should be an octave lower
- I had erred on the side of changing as little of the original arrangement as possible, however the time signature had been bothering me as well. I'd toyed around with changing it to cut time too, but I think your suggestion is better. That said, the change left me with a lot of redundant ties; I tried to fix them all, but if anyone spots any that I missed let me know!
- Not a response so much as a question - it sounds to me like the playback is slowing down slightly in the second last bar before the repeat, but I don't see a rit. anywhere (and it doesn't exist in the original song either). Anyone know why that might be happening?

Gustafa's Yurt

  • m24 LH could be staccato'd to reflect the pizzicato of the strings and to contrast with the measure before it
  • you should put more space between the arpeggio marking and the notes/staff by right clicking the measure and editing measure attributes
- Good suggestions, all fixed.

Thanks for all the feedback!!
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Zeila

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2020, 07:07:04 AM »

- I had erred on the side of changing as little of the original arrangement as possible, however the time signature had been bothering me as well. I'd toyed around with changing it to cut time too, but I think your suggestion is better. That said, the change left me with a lot of redundant ties; I tried to fix them all, but if anyone spots any that I missed let me know!
You missed one in measure 6. In the future you could try experimenting with the Quantization Settings and Retranscribe tool under MIDI/Audio in order to combine a bunch of ties into dotted notes or to create dotted rests simultaneously, although it may mess up other parts of the score too

- Not a response so much as a question - it sounds to me like the playback is slowing down slightly in the second last bar before the repeat, but I don't see a rit. anywhere (and it doesn't exist in the original song either). Anyone know why that might be happening?
I think it may be because your human playback preferences has the option "ritardando before fermatas" checked. I didn't encounter any slowdowns until I purposefully checked it

Breeze

  • m1 LH should be an octave lower
You missed this unless you just don't agree. And now that the measures are different, I only meant the very first note (C)

Since I took another look, I found more stuff you should update:
  • the copyright is actually misaligned and isn't centered horizontally
  • the dynamics could be more centered under the noteheads instead of aligning to the left with the default positioning; you could either change it manually or try adjusting the horizontal positioning settings for dynamics with the Category Designer dialog box under the Documents tab
  • you could put a little more space between the systems on page 2

Thanks for all the feedback!!
You're welcome! :3
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2020, 01:52:42 AM »

I think it may be because your human playback preferences has the option "ritardando before fermatas" checked. I didn't encounter any slowdowns until I purposefully checked it
You were exactly right about that option being checked, thanks!

You missed this unless you just don't agree. And now that the measures are different, I only meant the very first note (C)
Oops that was a mistake, I thought I had changed it but I think I did in the other file with the old time signature instead. Fixed now!

Everything else should be fixed as well, thanks again!
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2020, 10:03:17 PM »

Bar Theme
  • Maybe it's just me, but all those quarter notes in the melody (m1, 3, etc.) sound like 8th notes + 2 16th notes.
  • In places like m5, it sounds like the grace notes play at the same time. I'd just stack the grace notes instead of having them one after another.
  • m16: The quarter note rest should be in the staff like in m12.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2020, 04:28:26 AM »

  • Maybe it's just me, but all those quarter notes in the melody (m1, 3, etc.) sound like 8th notes + 2 16th notes.
Honestly, I was hearing this too. My assumption is that the original arranger left out the 16th notes for ease of playing, however I would not be opposed to adding them back in if no one objects to it.

  • In places like m5, it sounds like the grace notes play at the same time. I'd just stack the grace notes instead of having them one after another.
  • m16: The quarter note rest should be in the staff like in m12.
Done.
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2020, 03:03:10 AM »

You can leave them as quarter notes if you want, or make them just 8th notes, up to you. The other changes look great, so I'll be approving this one now.

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2020, 09:43:55 PM »

Moon Mountain
- In m1, RH beat 1.75 (the last sixteenth note) should be an A instead of a G.
- The 8va in m2-4 is too high and can be moved down.
- In m4, LH beat 3.5 (the last dyad) sounds it like should have a Bb on top instead of a C.
- In m6 and m10, I would add a staccato on beat 3.5 (the C).
- Why not tie the whole note G in m7 over to m8 as well?
- You cut off the RH Layer 2 part at the end of m10, but you can keep it going by including it in the LH like so:


- On beat 2.5 of m16 RH (the last note of the measure), there's also a D (flute part) above the B. (You could also put a courtesy natural on this D.)
- On beat 4.5 of m19 RH, there's another F an octave below the one you have.

Here's what I would recommend doing for m21-28:


Changes include:
- I simplified the rhythm to capture the main melody of the original track better. To be honest, I'm not really sure where you were getting the extra 16th notes from.
- I felt there were an excessive amount of staccatos and removed a lot of them because most of these notes are held, except for the ones I left staccatos on.
- I added a low A in the RH on beat 1.5 of m22/24/26. To accommodate this within one layer, I also cut the E on beat 1 from a quarter note to an eighth note. (It's possible to keep the E as a quarter note by splitting it into two layers, but since the layers cross over each other in m22/26, I thought that would be overly messy.)
- I fixed the notes/rhythm at the end of m27 RH, and added octaves to the RH in m24 and m27-28 (as well as a G to the final chord).
- In m26, the C in the LH is a dotted quarter, with no eighth note on beat 4.5.

^^ These are all changes I would recommend you implement yourself.



Breeze
- Missing grace notes in the RH on: m4 beat 4, m8 beat 4, m11 beat 2.25, m11 beat 4.25, m13 beat 2.25, m15 beat 4.25, m18 beat 2.5.
- For beats 3-4 of m1, there are two different rhythms playing the low E-F-G line with different rhythms, which you've combined into the LH. The double 16th notes on the E sound awkward, though, so I would recommend choosing one of the following two alternatives:


- This should be LH beat 1 for m3, m4, and m6 (only m5 has the extra harmonies you have):


- m4 LH beat 4, rhythm should be sixteenth - dotted eighth like the other measures.
- m5 LH beat 4 should be C (instead of B) like the other measures.
- There's an extra 16th note in the LH at the end of m6:


- On beat 1.75 of m7/8/9/10 LH, the A at the bottom should be the top note (the A should be transposed an octave up).
- Beat 1.75 of m8/9/10 LH should not have a C (the C is only there in m7).
- Beat 2 of m7/9 RH would be better as dotted half notes.
- The second-to-last eighth note in m8 LH could use a staccato.
- All four eighth notes should be beamed together in m10 RH.
- Here's what m10 LH should look like (besides what I mentioned above, beats 3-4 are also off):


- The notes seem good on the second page of the sheet a glance, but I would recommend transposing the entire LH up an octave from m11 until the end because a lot of the harmonies and dyads/triads sound really muddy down that low. (You could keep the very first dyad on beat 1 of m11 LH down the octave to provide a smoother LH transition from m10 to m11.)
- There are also 16th notes at the end of m14/16 LH, so you could do something like this (or simply incorporate them directly into the same layer):

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Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2020, 05:48:19 AM »

Moon Mountain
Made all the suggested changes.
- I swear I had the Layer 2 part at the end of m10 in an earlier draft, not sure what happened there lol...
- The way you wrote out the last 8 bars is much less convoluted than what I had so makes sense. It sounded to me like the flute was re-articulating some of those nots which is where the extra 16ths came from, but honestly it's probably better off without those (if they were even there in the first place).

Breeze
All the changes should be done for this one as well.
- Good call on the octaves at the end, I wasn't sure at first but when I listened to it it definitely sounded a lot less muddy.

Thanks for taking such a thorough look at these two sheets!


You can leave them as quarter notes if you want, or make them just 8th notes, up to you. The other changes look great, so I'll be approving this one now.
I also decided to add the 16th notes in to this one after all, I'd rather it be more accurate to the original.
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2020, 05:50:04 AM »

Moon Mountain
Looking good! The only other suggestion I have would be to consider making m1-12 three measures per system instead of four, since it's pretty cramped right now (especially the measures with the Layer 2 sixteenth notes). You might also consider doing the same for m13-24 (and then leave m25-28 as a four-measure system) since those are kinda cramped too, although if you would rather keep them as is so that the systems and phrases match up, that might be okay too.

Breeze
Great! The only other suggestion I'd make is to turn m11/13 LH beat 4 into an eighth note for readability's sake (to get rid of the stray 16th rest). If you wanted, you could also add staccatos to all the eighth note dyads in the LH in m11-16 to emphasize the bounciness of that part.

I also think the LH chord in the optional ending could be moved up an octave too. In fact, everything from middle C and above (C-E-G) could be moved into the RH instead. And, on that note, is there any particular reason that the root of the chord is G and not C? I think the simplest choice would be to put a low C into the LH (the same C as m18 LH layer 2 beat 4) and a C-E-G-C chord in the RH.

Once those suggestions are considered, I'll approve both sheets.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2020, 05:52:35 AM by mastersuperfan »
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2020, 05:01:47 PM »

Bar Theme
Looks good, just a few things:
- In m. 5/7/13/15 the E grace note leading to the E on beat 3 is a bit odd - perhaps you would want to omit that to avoid playing it twice in a row? (Or change it to a D# if that makes sense / is consistent with the original)
- In m. 8/16 the melody goes B-G similar to m. 4/12 but the upper B obscures that on beat 1.5. Maybe consider removing the top B? (Also in these places you'll want to make sure the augmentation dot doesn't overlap the lower layer.)
- Might be able to bend the slur up a bit in m. 14 so the natural doesn't overlap it.
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Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2020, 11:27:02 PM »

Moon Mountain
Looking good! The only other suggestion I have would be to consider making m1-12 three measures per system instead of four, since it's pretty cramped right now (especially the measures with the Layer 2 sixteenth notes). You might also consider doing the same for m13-24 (and then leave m25-28 as a four-measure system) since those are kinda cramped too, although if you would rather keep them as is so that the systems and phrases match up, that might be okay too.
I gave it a try, but I think I prefer to have the phrases line up with the systems. I did manually add a tiny bit of width to the measures with the 2nd layer 16th notes, however, so I hope that helps a bit.

Breeze
Great! The only other suggestion I'd make is to turn m11/13 LH beat 4 into an eighth note for readability's sake (to get rid of the stray 16th rest). If you wanted, you could also add staccatos to all the eighth note dyads in the LH in m11-16 to emphasize the bounciness of that part.

I also think the LH chord in the optional ending could be moved up an octave too. In fact, everything from middle C and above (C-E-G) could be moved into the RH instead. And, on that note, is there any particular reason that the root of the chord is G and not C? I think the simplest choice would be to put a low C into the LH (the same C as m18 LH layer 2 beat 4) and a C-E-G-C chord in the RH.
- Good idea, I implemented both suggestions. I also removed a tied note in m. 15 since the staccato made it redundant.
- Honestly, I had just left that chord untouched from the original arrangement. I'm not sure why there was a G in the bass, s I went ahead and revoiced it mostly as suggested. The only issue was that I was having trouble getting the rolled chord to work in playback, so I'm not sure if there's a setting I need to change somewhere?

Bar Theme
Looks good, just a few things:
- In m. 5/7/13/15 the E grace note leading to the E on beat 3 is a bit odd - perhaps you would want to omit that to avoid playing it twice in a row? (Or change it to a D# if that makes sense / is consistent with the original)
- In m. 8/16 the melody goes B-G similar to m. 4/12 but the upper B obscures that on beat 1.5. Maybe consider removing the top B? (Also in these places you'll want to make sure the augmentation dot doesn't overlap the lower layer.)
- Might be able to bend the slur up a bit in m. 14 so the natural doesn't overlap it.
- Changing the grace note to a D# sounds fine to my ear, so I went with that.
- Done. I moved the notes that were overlapping the dot over a bit; does that look better?
- Also done.

Thanks to both of you for the suggestions!
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Re: Code_Name_Geek's Replacements
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2020, 12:33:03 AM »

Bar Theme
Looks good, just a few things:
- In m. 5/7/13/15 the E grace note leading to the E on beat 3 is a bit odd - perhaps you would want to omit that to avoid playing it twice in a row? (Or change it to a D# if that makes sense / is consistent with the original)
- In m. 8/16 the melody goes B-G similar to m. 4/12 but the upper B obscures that on beat 1.5. Maybe consider removing the top B? (Also in these places you'll want to make sure the augmentation dot doesn't overlap the lower layer.)
- Might be able to bend the slur up a bit in m. 14 so the natural doesn't overlap it.
- Changing the grace note to a D# sounds fine to my ear, so I went with that.
- Done. I moved the notes that were overlapping the dot over a bit; does that look better?
- Also done.
Cool! Last couple of things. There look like there are small ties coming from the D# grace notes that should be removed. And for m. 8/16 I think it would look better to move the augmentation dot up instead of move the lower layer to the right.
Otherwise, looks great :)
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