[SW] Paper Mario: The Origami King - "Olivia's Plea" by XiaoMigros

Started by Zeta, March 28, 2021, 02:48:27 PM

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Latios212

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 26, 2021, 11:29:20 PMI'd rather have nitpicky feedback since it really helps me improve! I'll see what I can do :)
Cool we're on the same page ^^ Looking much better, just a few more things from me:

Quote from: Latios212 on April 26, 2021, 08:44:03 PM- Make sure the 8vas are a consistent height above the topmost notes - i.e. the 8va is very high over the notes in m. 6 but very close to the notes in m. 20
It's still very close to the notes in m. 20, raise it a bit there to look more like m. 1

Quote from: Latios212 on April 26, 2021, 08:44:03 PM- Make the staff spacing consistent unless there's a good reason to do otherwise - some systems have 0.88" and some have 1" between the left hand and right hand staves. You can adjust this using the Staff Tool and dragging the lower staff up and down.
Forgot to mention - the "good reason to do otherwise" is when there's more stuff sticking out into the space between staves. Measure 17 in particular demands that space because the stems and notes interfere with the crescendo. The last two systems on the first page could use a tad more space as well because things get pretty close in places like m. 11 and m. 13. I think 1" would work fine for those three systems.

Quote from: Latios212 on April 26, 2021, 08:44:03 PM- Adjust your system spacing to make better use of the space on the page. For example, the bottom staff on the first page gets pretty close to the footer. The third and fourth systems have quite a bit of space above them and can be moved up some. You can do this using the Staff Tool and dragging the right hand staff up and down. Similarly, the top system on page 2 is far too close to the page number/header/top of the page.
Better, but could still be tweaked a bit further :) Look at how close the first system on each page is to the text on top of the page, and see how it's disproportionately small compared to the space between adjacent systems. Try and even that out a little bit to make the spread of "stuff" across the page a little more even.
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Last couple of things:
- Try and keep the expression text/directions a consistent space away from the music. the "con/senza pedale" is the same height in m. 2 and 13 as it is in m. 20, but they should be lowered in 2 and 13 so they're not so close to the notes. Along the same lines the a tempo is floating much higher in m. 12 than the rit. does in m. 10.
- Should have another rit. in m. 18 and a tempo at the end of m. 19.
- Courtesy sharp isn't needed in m. 20.
- The pickup is included in the measure numbering, but it shouldn't be. Do one of the below (after you've implemented the rest of the feedback, otherwise all the measure numbers will be off by one) -
  - Use Finale's default pickup measure functionality (Document > Pickup Measure, you'll also need to change the beginning to actually be 4/4 instead of hidden 1/4)
  - Exclude the first measure from the measure numbering (double click using the Measure Tool, uncheck "Include in Measure Numbering"
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Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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XiaoMigros

QuoteI think 1" would work fine for those three systems.
Done, I also made some various placement adjustments to make better use of the new space

QuoteTry and even that out a little bit to make the spread of "stuff" across the page a little more even.
I tried to space it more evenly, but I think this is something I'll need to learn a bit more about. Is there some spacing tool that would make this process a bit easier? Even just something that lets me see the space between staves as a value would be extremely useful.

As for the other stuff you mentioned, I took a look at those and made some fixes. Thanks again!

Latios212

Quote from: XiaoMigros on May 07, 2021, 12:15:21 AMAs for the other stuff you mentioned, I took a look at those and made some fixes. Thanks again!
Awesome, you're welcome!

Quote from: XiaoMigros on May 07, 2021, 12:15:21 AMDone, I also made some various placement adjustments to make better use of the new space
I tried to space it more evenly, but I think this is something I'll need to learn a bit more about. Is there some spacing tool that would make this process a bit easier? Even just something that lets me see the space between staves as a value would be extremely useful.
Yep! You can use the Page Layout Tool and view/edit margins for each system, and set the same values for multiple systems. (Just noticed here that the left margin for systems is different on page 1 and page 2, so make sure that gets set to the same value.)

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It can help to play around with the values a bit and start out by making them the same across all systems (after the first). Past that though, I suggest just manual fine-tuning by dragging staves up and down using the Staff Tool in order to account for the different amount of stuff above and below the staff in different places. This is the kind of stuff I'll be talking about in the workshop next weekend so stay tuned :)

Anyway, the spacing looks pretty good now, thanks for updating it! Aside from the system left margins I mentioned above, the rit. markings in m. 9 and 17 are a bit awkwardly to the right; I think they'd be better centered over the notes. Lastly, I'm not sure why this happens with some converted files, but for the page 2 title and page number, use the Text Tool and check Size > Fixed Size to ensure the 12 point font is the same as on page 1 (it's a bit small now).

I'll also leave my approval here since these last few things are super tiny :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Sebastian

I gave this puppy a thorough check the other day...I just forgot to post 😂

In addition to Latios' last few comments, I'm not seeing anything additional! You have my approval, as well...after those tiny things are fixed.



XiaoMigros

haha thanks!
In that case, I think the sheet might be ready :)

Sebastian

It's got my approval.

Lat can take a final look and hit the green button.



Latios212

Nice :) just make sure the left margins on the second page systems matches the left margins on the first page systems as I mentioned above. Also, make sure your PDF exporter/printer is using the page size from Finale, as the PDf currently in the submission looks like it's being printed on a different size paper.

Once that's taken care of, will accept!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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XiaoMigros

I changed the page size to A4, but consequentially I had to make minor adjustments to spacing and such. If it needs more spacing out to fill the taller page let me know.

Latios212

Just chatted over Discord a bit - page size wasn't the issue, it just needed to be exported properly. Got that and the system margins all sorted out, time to accept :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot