[DELETED] [NDS] Nintendogs - "Surprise Record" by PokéMaster

Started by Zeta, April 30, 2021, 08:29:08 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Nintendogs
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Surprise Record
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PokéMaster

PokeMaestro

#1

Latios212

The updaters would like their hearing back... you linked the wrong version. That one is a joke version and has a pretty nasty jump scare in the middle. Don't know if that was accidental or not, but please be mindful. I have modified your above post to put it behind a spoiler warning.

The original is here:

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

#3
Anyway...

- For the composer/arranger text, I would suggest the following instead of "Edited by":
QuoteComposition by Franz Joseph Haydn
Arrangement by Hajime Wakai
Piano arrangement by PokeMaestro
- URL missing a / at the end
- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system
- For the "surprise" chord in m. 16 the ff doesn't have enough room - it's colliding with the stem of the LH part. You could either widen the space between the LH/RH staves or flip the LH octave down.
- Also about the chord, I would suggest adding accents and the fifth (D) to give it some more punch.
- The left hand in m. 23-24 and 31-32 should be an octave lower.
- Extra mf mark in m. 25 is not needed
- I don't think you need the (pp) in m. 9, it's not really any different from the beginning is it?
- I would suggest reducing the space between systems a little bit so you have room to put the footer within the page margins. See this topic: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10719.0
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

PokeMaestro

Quote from: Latios212 on July 10, 2021, 04:21:30 PMAnyway...

- For the composer/arranger text, I would suggest the following instead of "Edited by":
QuoteComposition by Franz Joseph Haydn
Arrangement by Hajime Wakai
Piano arrangement by PokeMaestro
- URL missing a / at the end
- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system
- For the "surprise" chord in m. 16 the ff doesn't have enough room - it's colliding with the stem of the LH part. You could either widen the space between the LH/RH staves or flip the LH octave down.
- Also about the chord, I would suggest adding accents and the fifth (D) to give it some more punch.
- The left hand in m. 23-24 and 31-32 should be an octave lower.
- Extra mf mark in m. 25 is not needed
- I don't think you need the (pp) in m. 9, it's not really any different from the beginning is it?
- I would suggest reducing the space between systems a little bit so you have room to put the footer within the page margins. See this topic: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10719.0

Wait, I'm confused. Was there already a feedback or did you just put it in a quote?

Latios212

Sorry, updated the formatting.

Quote from: Latios212 on May 02, 2021, 04:19:27 PMThe updaters would like their hearing back... you linked the wrong version. That one is a joke version and has a pretty nasty jump scare in the middle. Don't know if that was accidental or not, but please be mindful. I have modified your above post to put it behind a spoiler warning.
Also this. Please don't do that in the future.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

PokeMaestro

I have to apologise to the updaters and feedback people. I had no bad intentions, just wanted to make a joke. I realised that it wasn't fun and I won't do this again.

PokeMaestro

Okay, the sheet is updated.

Quote- URL missing a / at the end
Actually the URL isn't missing, or what exactly did you mean?

Quote- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system
What horizontal line? I wrote like this because it's also in the urtext edition.


Quote- For the "surprise" chord in m. 16 the ff doesn't have enough room - it's colliding with the stem of the LH part. You could either widen the space between the LH/RH staves or flip the LH octave down.
I flipped it down.

Quote- Also about the chord, I would suggest adding accents and the fifth (D) to give it some more punch.
Cool idea, updated.

Quote- The left hand in m. 23-24 and 31-32 should be an octave lower.
Hm, in the orignal both octaves are played, but in the lower octave it sounds better, you're right

Quote- Extra mf mark in m. 25 is not needed
deleted

Quote- I don't think you need the (pp) in m. 9, it's not really any different from the beginning is it?
In the absolutely original it's written with a pianissimo, so I thought the player could choose if he wants to play in more quiet or not.

Quote- I would suggest reducing the space between systems a little bit so you have room to put the footer within the page margins.
I did not really unterstand the topic you've linked, so I've tried a bit in the sheet. I don't know whether that is it.

Latios212

Quote from: PokeMaestro on July 12, 2021, 11:56:41 AMI did not really unterstand the topic you've linked, so I've tried a bit in the sheet. I don't know whether that is it.
Here's a file with some adjustments: https://www.dropbox.com/s/86amf7x8yecg8c7/Surprise%20Record.musx?dl=0
- Page margins were good at 0.5 except 1 inch on the left is rather much. I decreased it to 0.75.
- The system margins should be zero on the left and right so that they line up with the page margins you set. (Except for the first system which needs some space on the left for the "Piano" staff name)
- Footer text set to be within the page margins and game title centered on the page

Quote from: Latios212 on July 10, 2021, 04:21:30 PM- URL missing a / at the end
Quote from: PokeMaestro on July 12, 2021, 11:56:41 AMActually the URL isn't missing, or what exactly did you mean?
It was this on the sheet: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org
It should be: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/

Quote from: Latios212 on July 10, 2021, 04:21:30 PM- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system
Quote from: PokeMaestro on July 12, 2021, 11:56:41 AMWhat horizontal line? I wrote like this because it's also in the urtext edition.
This:
I think that's what I'm used to seeing more, although I guess what you have is fine too.

Feel free to update the submission with my file above, I think that's mostly all I had to say about this sheet :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

PokeMaestro


Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Static

#11
Note-wise, I don't have anything to say. This is great. I just have a few arrangement suggestions:
  • m17-32 has a wide variety of dynamic contrasts that I think would be helpful to notate. It's definitely not just mezzoforte the entire way through.
  • The 8th notes in m24 and 32 sound the same length as those in m21-22. I think they should be staccato.
But the real issue I have with this submission is that I'm not sure it's really necessary. It's not so much of an "arrangement" by Wakai than it is a note-for-note rendition of Haydn's 94th Symphony. The few differences there are are either very minor (the specific octave placement of the bass, for example), or are just notational changes that you made (like writing m23 without the grace note). Anyone else have thoughts here?

PokeMaestro



Quote
  • m17-32 has a wide variety of dynamic contrasts that I think would be helpful to notate. It's definitely
  • not just mezzoforte the entire way through.
    The 8th notes in m24 and 32 sound the same length as those in m21-22. I think they should be staccato.

Updated, added some cresc. brackets.

QuoteAnyone else have thoughts here?

For the sake of completeness, I would advocate inclusion in the NSM library. Also, this record is very well known/popular among Nintendogs players, I don't know if that would be worth leaving it out. Besides, it's only a small fragment from the second movement of the 94th, so from there it's also a unique piece somewhere I think :)

Static

After some discussion, the updaters have agreed that it would be best to not accept this sheet. While we do allow remixes/arrangements of existing works, this is essentially verbatim, even if an excerpt. I understand the desire for a fully complete library, but the sheets hosted here should be original to the game.