[MUL] Genshin Impact - "Once-Colored Memories" by BratscheCube

Started by Zeta, July 24, 2021, 03:35:24 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Genshin Impact
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Once-Colored Memories
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: BratscheCube

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BratscheCube


Static

Welcome to NinSheetMusic! You submitted this at a good time, since we're actually doing a Color-themed Arrangement Project right now. If you'd like, you can make a thread in the Projects board for your sheet to save yourself a sub slot, but be sure to do this by tomorrow (that's the deadline).
Deadline's passed but that's OK - as your first sub it's better to get used to how the normal submission process works anyway.

Anyway, here's a bit of feedback:
  • This is one of those rare instances where I think "Transcribed by" would be more appropriate than "Arranged by". This makes the most sense for solo piano pieces where all you're doing is writing what's there and nothing's getting moved around.
  • I hear m12 as 16th note rhythms similar to the rest of the piece with the F# and E being tied across beats 2-3 and 3-4, respectively. Rhythm is kinda subjective in a free-flowing piece like this, but the rest of the piece makes me feel a 16th pulse even at the end.



BratscheCube

QuoteDeadline's passed but that's OK - as your first sub it's better to get used to how the normal submission process works anyway.

Sorry I missed it! I forgot I posted this here for a hot minute lol

QuoteThis is one of those rare instances where I think "Transcribed by" would be more appropriate than "Arranged by". This makes the most sense for solo piano pieces where all you're doing is writing what's there and nothing's getting moved around.

Yeah, I wavered back and forth on this, but ultimately I decided on "arranged by" as that's what the official formatting guidelines say.

QuoteI hear m12 as 16th note rhythms similar to the rest of the piece with the F# and E being tied across beats 2-3 and 3-4, respectively.

Again, I went back and forth about this bar. It could just be my ear, but I do hear it as a triplet rhythm (could also be a ritard). With the rest of the piece being based in the 16th syncopations, I think you could make the argument that the triplets are there for variety's sake, but that might be splitting hairs lol

Static

Quote from: BratscheCube on July 28, 2021, 08:58:41 PMYeah, I wavered back and forth on this, but ultimately I decided on "arranged by" as that's what the official formatting guidelines say.
There's a few specific cases that aren't covered in the guidelines (well not yet). Either way is fine though, it's really up to you.

As for the rhythms, both ways are easy to read so I'll leave that up to you as well. There's not really a lot to go off of, so the rhythm can be interpreted in many ways.

The only other thing I have left, which I didn't catch before, is that the copyright info is outside of the page margins. You can fix this by using the Text Tool, right click on the handle, choose "Edit Frame Attributes", and change the Vertical (V) value to 0 (under Alignment and Positioning).
There's also enough room at the bottom of the page to move all the systems down a bit, so that you can move the composer/arranger text down. Ideally it should be below the game title.

mastersuperfan

Welcome to NinSheetMusic! This is a good sheet notewise, so other than the first point below, I'm going to be focusing on formatting and visuals in my feedback here. It will seem strict and nitpicky at times, but it's important that sheet music not only sounds and plays good but also looks good and is clean and easy to read.

- Strongly seconding Static on the rhythm in m12 being syncopated 16th-note rhythms. I'm really not hearing triplets at all, and they don't make much sense to me in the context of the rest of the piece.
- Your mus/musx and PDF files are different (different tempo indication, different URL)—did you forget to update one of them? The URL on the mus/musx is missing the capitalization, but it's fine on the PDF.
- Your header is a bit cramped, while you have extra white space on the bottom of the page. I would recommend moving all your systems further down, as well as moving the composer/arranger info down too.
- The tempo marking is misaligned—the left edge should be aligned with the left edge of the time signature. To make Finale do this automatically (assuming you're using full Finale, given that you uploaded a musx), you can edit the tempo marking, go to Positioning, and check the box that says "Use Tempo Marks Category Positioning."
- Mezzo forte in m7 seems a bit strong to me, given that it's still a very subdued, quiet piece. Maybe mp instead? This dynamic marking could also be moved slightly to the left such that it's centered with the noteheads on beat 1.
- The crescendo in in m6 should be moved down a bit so that it's centered between the LH and RH staves.
- In m4/6/8/10 RH, I would recommend writing the quarter notes followed by eighth rests as dotted quarters instead. Since the pedal is being held, the sound will sustain anyway, so there isn't really any audible rest in the melody.
- I would suggest moving m10 down from the third system to the fourth system. The third system is a bit cramped right now, but the fourth system can easily accommodate four measures because the last measure is just whole notes.
- This is going to be annoying to do, but: I think there could be a bit more consistency in the positioning of the pedal changes. Sometimes the pedal change is positioned very far to the left of the beat (m2), sometimes it is positioned at the center of the beat (m5), and anywhere in between. It doesn't need to be pixel-perfect, but the positioning of the pedal change relative to the beat should be relatively consistent throughout. The start of the pedal line in m1 could also be moved a little more to the right (it's pretty far left of the note right now). ALTERNATIVELY, the easy way out is to hide all the pedal markings and just put "con pedale" in the first measure. The piece just changes the pedal every measure as the chord changes, so you don't really need to write that out for it to be obvious to the player.

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions or need assistance with anything!
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Static

Just giving this one a bump, let us know if you're still around to work on this

Latios212

I sent BratscheCube a message and they said it'd be fine to finish up this sheet for them. I made most of the edits suggested above; a few things to note:
- I didn't touch the "Arranged by" though have no objection to changing it
- Hid the pedal markings and put in a "con pedale"
- Changed the rhythm in the second to last measure
- Additionally hid the breath marks since they don't really make much sense here for piano where the whole thing is pedalled

Files are updated, and I'm done with this one~
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Static

Looks great! I just updated the "Transcribed by" text, but if you'd prefer "Arranged" though, let me know and I'll change it back for you.
In the meantime I'll accept, nice work


Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Static.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot