[3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Sheer Mountain Range" by Cashwarrior1

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon
Game: Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Sheer Mountain Range
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Cashwarrior1

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[cashwarrior1]

My main goal is for this to be playable (hard to do when you don't have a keyboard lol) but it definitely is a hard one. I was having difficulty deciding if this should be put in a key signature or not, and what key it would even be in. Also, at measure 80 and 81 I did add additional arpeggios in the left hand because I felt it kept the energy up.

[Kricketune54]

m.1-2 Is this cresc.-decresc. pair necessary?  I know that's what's happening in the original but I was wondering your opinion of just putting another dynamic on m.2 instead of the current cresc. and decresc.  Maybe a mp?

m.4 RH this trill part actually is 5 notes instead of 4.  Maybe add a 5th note after the current four you have and make the eighth rest a 16th instead.  Same applies for m.8 in the RH.

m.9 I don't hear the Dn in the LH, but I do hear a Cn here.  Also not sure about the Gn in the RH, and even if it is I think that it doesn't help including it, as the chord sounds like an F major chord (with the Gn3 in the LH augmenting it)

m.24 move the cresc. down a bit from where it is under the triplet so it's centered a bit more

m.27 center the mf between the staffs

m.33 I think these notes need some more space between them - perhaps a staccato and accent or just a staccato (like in other places already in this arrangement) to delineate the note length a bit better.  I tried doing quarter notes instead of dotted quarters and while that might be more accurate I think it looks confusing.

m.34 extend the cresc. to the last note in the LH

m.55 move the pedal star mark down slightly so it's centered to the Ped. mark it pairs with

m.56 move the mp down a tiny bit so it's centered on the cresc.

m.68 and  m.70 someone else might have more knowledge but I am not sure if those trills are playable with three notes

m.84 I think the RH would be more accurate as a dotted whole note here... but I can understand why you arranged as dotted quarters  instead



Not super knowledgeable of SPMD but this was cool! 

[cashwarrior1]

m.1-2 Is this cresc.-decresc. pair necessary?  I know that's what's happening in the original but I was wondering your opinion of just putting another dynamic on m.2 instead of the current cresc. and decresc.  Maybe a mp?

The player should make the decaying piano notes gradually become louder

m.68 and  m.70 someone else might have more knowledge but I am not sure if those trills are playable with three notes

Those are mordents, and it's just played on the top note. They're not that difficult (also I already had two piano streamers sight read it lol)

Updated.

[Bloop]

I'm really liking all this PSMD music, even though I've never played the game. It's so deliciously dramatic with some nice chord progressions :3
Anyway, onto my list of comments:

-m1-3: I don't really hear the dynamics going softer in m3, I feel it's more like pp in m1 crescendo-ing to p in m3? (pretty much one step softer than what happens in m5-7)
-m8: I hear a fifth here too instead of a third (d-a trills instead of b-d)
-m3-4 and 7-8: I believe the last note in m4 and 8 is just as short as the ending notes of the little mordent-flourishes at m3-8, so it's good to be consistent here (either both measures ending with 16th note+16th rest, both ending with 8th notes, or maybe even both ending with staccato 8th notes). Also, in all these measures, you could shorten the first 2 dotted quarter rests to dotted half rests if you want. Also, a question: these mordents/trills are meant to be played by both hands too, right? I initially interpreted the line as just the R.H. leaving the chord to play the trills, but I don't believe that's the case. Maybe instead of the lines you could also just write 'Both hands' at the trills, so it's just a bit clearer.
-m18: I hear F and G instead of G and C at beats 3.33 and 3.66.
-m19-32: I hear all quarter+8th figures in these measures with the first quarter note staccato, except for beat 4 in m31: this should actually be 8th+quarter note (without staccato)
-m26: Maybe you can tie over the top C on beat 3.66 to beat 4 because of the high flute line?
-m33: Except for the bass note, I can't really hear any Ab/Eb related stuff in this bar. I hear mostly C's and G's:
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-m34: I also don't think I hear the B on beat 1 here, maybe you could change it to the G below? Also, on beat 3.66 in the L.H., I hear a low B (the same as on beat 3) instead of an A.
-m38: I think I hear G instead of A throughout beat 3.
-m49: I hear this in the R.H. on beats 1-2:
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-m50: Maybe you could add a Bb below in the R.H. second layer too, just to get that schweet V-I resolution?
-m52: It's really hard to hear, but I feel like the L.H. arpeggio is just a straight Ab major chord without too much additions.
-m56 and 58: I hear an Ab in the R.H. on beat 1.66 (just above the G on beat 1)
-m61 and 65: I hear something entirely else in the R.H.:
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-m63: I hear an A instead of a B on beat 3 in the R.H. (the 3th quarter note after the quarter rest)
-m66: I think I don't hear the Bb in the R.H. but Ab's, but maybe it's an idea to enharmonically rewrite this part in sharps rather than flats:
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-I hear a high D on beats 1 and 3 of m68 and beat 1 on m69 too (the high flute)
-m69: With some practice, I think it's possible to play the full harp line here:
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Notes in brackets are notes I play with the left hand (should probably have a little marking with 'L.H.' too, as well as maybe the notes on the bottom staff with a marking saying 'R.H.'). You might wanna figure out if you wanna change the notation a bit if you change it to this. If you'd rather keep the whole of beat 2 empty, that's fine too, as it's definitely a bit easier: in that case, I do hear some different notes (just take beat 2 of 3 of the above and put it down an octave)
-m70: I don't hear the mordents here.
-m71: Same thing as in m69, as well as definitely different notes here:
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-m72-73: The L.H. here is drastically different than the rest of this part (74-79), but it's pretty much the same as the original. Maybe you can change this so it's like m76-77? (as that's a bit easier to play than to change the whole thing to the grace note octave + chord thing haha)
-m74: The in-between notes in the R.H. on beat 2 are just additions from the L.H. chords right? Maybe you can then change the C to D, as there's no C in the actual chord.
-m82: I hear Ab-Db-Ab on beat 3 in the L.H. (Ab above the Db). Technically the last Ab in the bar should be an octave higher, but I'm fine keeping this down so it's easier to go the the next bar.
-m84: Bass note on beat 3 should be a G.

I was having difficulty deciding if this should be put in a key signature or not, and what key it would even be in.

I think it's fine having it keyless, it modulates a lot and doesn't really stay in one key for a long time. Reading accidentals is probably easier than reading naturals :p

[cashwarrior1]

I'm really liking all this PSMD music, even though I've never played the game. It's so deliciously dramatic with some nice chord progressions :3

Yes I love the harmony in the dungeon music especially

Also, a question: these mordents/trills are meant to be played by both hands too, right? I initially interpreted the line as just the R.H. leaving the chord to play the trills, but I don't believe that's the case. Maybe instead of the lines you could also just write 'Both hands' at the trills, so it's just a bit clearer.

Yeah I intend it to be played with both hands. I just put the 'Both Hands' text for measure 3.

-m26: Maybe you can tie over the top C on beat 3.66 to beat 4 because of the high flute line?

I personally think it sounds better with just silence, but I did add in the tie and the player can choose if they actually hold it lol.

-m61 and 65: I hear something entirely else in the R.H.

Ah, that definitely sounds better

Notes in brackets are notes I play with the left hand (should probably have a little marking with 'L.H.' too, as well as maybe the notes on the bottom staff with a marking saying 'R.H.'). You might wanna figure out if you wanna change the notation a bit if you change it to this. If you'd rather keep the whole of beat 2 empty, that's fine too, as it's definitely a bit easier: in that case, I do hear some different notes (just take beat 2 of 3 of the above and put it down an octave)

I don't have a piano to figure out exactly how I'd go about playing this, so I'm going to leave beat 2 empty and just say each three notes you switch hands (I think that would work out nicely, too)

-m72-73: The L.H. here is drastically different than the rest of this part (74-79), but it's pretty much the same as the original. Maybe you can change this so it's like m76-77? (as that's a bit easier to play than to change the whole thing to the grace note octave + chord thing haha)

Yeah... I had this idea that it would be so cool to play it like that and stuff and I tried doing it and quickly realized that it wouldn't really be sustainable 😅probably should've changed it earlier :p

Thanks for the feedback!!
Updated.

[Bloop]

Awesome! Just a few things that popped up:

-m4 and 8: You can compress the first two dotted quarter rests here to a dotted half rest too, like you did in m3 and 7
-m8: I hear the A-B trill in the R.H. an octave higher
-m34: On beat 3.66, I actually meant the B an octave below the one you have now.
-m69: The G on beat 4 in the R.H. (or the first L.H. note above the bracket) should be an A. Also, maybe you can center the L.H. marking under the bracket in this measure and m71, instead of it being to the left. Also, I just noticed the pedal-lift markings should be horizontally aligned with the pedal-press markings: the one in m69 is a bit too low, and the one in m71 too high.

Everything else looks good, nice work!

[cashwarrior1]

Updated.

[Bloop]

Awesome, then I'll give this a big approval!
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[Static]

This is lookin pretty good...

• m9: I feel like the hand placement here is self-evident, but it's fine to leave the direction in.
• m18 LH beat 4 (9th eighth note out of 12, whatever): The D is just a quarter note, it's not re-articulated.
• m19-32 LH: The quarter notes that the slurs lead to (i.e. the 1st and 3rd quarters in each bar) sound staccato to me; the alternating note lengths give the accompaniment its bouncy feel there. Also, feel free to use simile after the first bar or two, since the articulations are always the same throughout. There are some changes in m26+ but the performer should be able to infer the same style.
• m31 RH: The last quarter note in the melody should also be staccato.
• m33: This chord is missing a D (Gsus4 with Ab in the bass).
• m34 LH: I'm hearing this as the bass line here:
  
• m44 LH: There shouldn't be a G here; it's like Eb9sus4 or something. Eb, F, Ab, Bb, Db are the notes, which still shouldn't be much trouble with just the LH. If you wanted to leave out a note, I'd go with F.
• m52-57 RH: All the dots on beat 1 should be lined up vertically.
• m63 RH: It's sometimes hard to tell because the instruments swap voices, but I think it's just sus chords like in m61. The lower octave is there too, but it sounds like there's more in the middle:
  
• m72 LH beat 1: There's a missing bass note here.
• m82-83 LH: Bass line sounds more like this to me:
  

[cashwarrior1]

• m72 LH beat 1: There's a missing bass note here.

There's supposed to be a bass note on beat 1 for this entire section, I just think it has a better effect with beat 1 empty

Updated.

[Latios212]

This is really solid, nice work and sorry for taking a little while to get around to checking it

Cleanup of a handful of small things:
- There's extra space around the roll at the beginning of m. 9
- I would recommend adjusting the slurs in m. 19-25 to make them look a bit more natural; they're almost vertical now. Probably try moving the left end left and maybe up a bit.
- Right now it looks like the simile applies to the triplet in the RH of m. 20, which doesn't make any sense. This would be better off below the LH part in m. 21 instead.
- In measure 26 you could write the top C in a separate layer as a dotted half on beat 3 instead of including it with the chords.
- I don't think the last melody note of m. 32 should be staccato.
- Have you considered inverting the RH chords in m. 60 up once? Based on the original, I think when listening I'd prefer to hear the Eb-Eb-D movement on top of the chords instead of the bottom. (Especially since the next few similar phrases do have that kind of motion going on.)
- The mordents should be raised a bit in m. 68 to not be so close to the stems
- m. 69/71 LH, flip beat 1 down (and make sure the staccato is above the chord)
- m. 79 - I know you have big hands but could we please omit the E on top of the LH chords they're not that crucial here since you already have E's in the RH chords
- m. 83 beat 3 - the D in the beat 3 chord should be a Db (you could omit the C on the bottom if you want for ease of playing, but leaving it is fine too)
- Last measure - similar comment as with m. 26 above in terms of writing the melody as one sustained D in a separate layer on top.

[cashwarrior1]

- I don't think the last melody note of m. 32 should be staccato.

I assume you meant m. 31

- m. 79 - I know you have big hands but could we please omit the E on top of the LH chords they're not that crucial here since you already have E's in the RH chords

I may have went a little overboard here 😅

Updated.

[Latios212]

Sweet, looks great! It's accept time~

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot