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grgwnw's Arrangements

Started by grgwnw, February 08, 2022, 01:00:47 AM

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grgwnw

This is the Google Drive folder for all of my arrangements. I just finished my first one: Smile from Persona 4. I would definitely appreciate some feedback!

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1SA8rEDdjgWVXAaASru3qh1yVUfqzUwnR?usp=sharing

Source Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1MmNjHLtUE

Kricketune54

Following up what I said on Discord, welcome to NSM!

Going to organize feedback by formatting and note stuff.  If you want a full overview of sheet submission expectations, definitely check out this video I put together which should give you a good rundown


I would also recommend checking out sheets that have recently been added to the website for additional examples  :)

Formatting
-As mentioned before, NSM sheets have a bit more structure.  If you're planning on submitting, follow the MuseScore Conversion guide
-There's some general sheet info stuff also is missing on your sheet such as composer and arranger credits, as well as the copyright info at the bottom.  Additionally, sheet titles are on each page after page 1 at the top of the page.
-What is the rational behind doing half note = 50 instead of quarter note = 100 for the tempo?  It seems unnecessary, as the song isn't in cut time and also doesn't have a double time feel, so I would go with the latter option.
-One thing that is kind of preferred with doing sheets on here is to link an audio source.  The audio source I found and used to compare to this arrangement was this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNDMYTI4Hbg
-I've never played Persona 4, but at least the videos I were finding of this song had it so that after what you have as m34, instead of looping back to the beginning, it seemed to repeat back to m9, but then repeat m9-16 twice before going to the part at m17.  As far as how to show this, I think instead of a repeat at the end, put a D.S sign at the end and then put the at m9.  I would also make a repeat between m9 and m16, but put a note at m9 that says only repeat after passing the D.S
or something else conveying that

Notes
-Dynamics at the beginning of a piece always give the performer a cue for how loud or soft they should play the piece, so make sure to add one in at the beginning (perhaps mezzo forte - mf)
-I would do a key of E major instead of B - on the general thread of key signature, make sure when you are assigning a key signature that the accidentals make sense within that key signature.  In this song's case, there are very few instances where a flat should be the accidental.  For example, measure 1 in the Right hand (RH) should look like this
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-There's a couple instances like m19 and m27 beat 1 - ties really should not exist between two eighth notes on the first and second part of the beat.  Instead, this can just be notated as a quarter note.  I think this article on grouping and note beaming would really help, and I know it's posted elsewhere on the forum as well.
-Further on the subject of note subdivisions, m18 RH is incorrect - the following is the correct way that this rhythm should be written
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Essentially, when you are in 4/4 time, there should note be a note grouping across beat's 2 and 3 (unless it's a dotted half note, or a whole note, but those are not subject to this rule), this would be done with a tie instead.
-The LH part for m4 should go as follows:
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Additionally, remove the Gb in the RH because that's not there to begin with
-m12 sounds more like this in the LH
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-m19 LH beat 3 (currently an Eb and Gb) - for piano arranging, if there is an eighth note falling on the first part of a beat and is followed by an eighth rest, it is preferred to be written as a staccato quarter note.
-m21 also has a beaming issue in the LH - for the C# on beat 2.5, it should be an eighth note tied to another eighth note rather than a quarter note

There's decent amount of stuff going on  and parts introduced in this song, and it is understandably hard to hear some of these parts.  A lot of us here have a process where we use Audacity or Bandlab to slow down parts or pitch them up or down an octave to make out certain parts easier in a song.  I'd highly suggest doing this throughout, because I think it would help hear some of the parts as I have annotated in the screenshots, but also to give a check to some sections I didn't quite cover notewise such as m27-34.

If you're kind of newer to arranging, I would encourage you to start with something more beginner friendly (perhaps with an easier key), not as a means to discourage you away from doing what you're doing, but to make the highest possible arrangement accuracy possible.  A lot of people do NES or Game Boy stuff to start because those systems have fewer voices to transcribe and arrange into piano parts, and make there way up as far as song complexity (I kind of wish I had realized this when I started putting arrangements up here). Once establishing a bit of an arranging foundation, move on up from there!

luisfowler

#2
Quote from: grgwnw on February 08, 2022, 01:00:47 AMThis is the Google Drive folder for all of my arrangements. I just finished my first one: Smile from Persona 4. I would definitely appreciate some feedback!

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1SA8rEDdjgWVXAaASru3qh1yVUfqzUwnR?usp=sharing geometry dash subzero

Source Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1MmNjHLtUE
Great work, bro! I like your arrangements.