[Wii] Rhythm Heaven Fever - "I Love You, My One and Only (Remix 8)" by Latios212

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Rhythm Heaven
Game: Rhythm Heaven Fever
Console: Wii
Title: I Love You, My One and Only (Remix 8)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212

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[Latios212]

A few notes about this one:
- There's definitely some vocal harmonies in the original but I was having a hard time writing in something that worked well on piano, so I just left it as single notes for now
- Is the "Double time swing" tempo text in m. 5 clear enough to a reader? Or would something like (quarter = half) be better alongside some text indicating swing?
- I'll align the swung notes with the triplets when we're just about done

[Bloop]

- There's definitely some vocal harmonies in the original but I was having a hard time writing in something that worked well on piano, so I just left it as single notes for now

Yeah trying to include everything will probably make it a bit too blocky. You could try adding some more harmonic colours though, like adding a B on the upbeat of m6, and something more dissonant on the upbeat of m12 (I don't really hear anything alterations besides the b9, but a #5 or just the 7th might give that same effect). Also, during the solo lines, adding a second voice to the harmonized parts ("Tell me, tell me" and "hurt me, hurt me" for example) probably helps with accentuating those parts too.

- Is the "Double time swing" tempo text in m. 5 clear enough to a reader? Or would something like (quarter = half) be better alongside some text indicating swing?

Since you have the new tempo marking alongside it, it should be clear enough that the quarter notes become half notes. However, I noticed the first 8th notes on beat 3 in m1 and 2 seem to start just before the beat, which would be the swung 8th in double time. I can live with keeping it as 8th notes too, but if you wanna include that in the sheet, it might be best to write the first few bars in double time too already.

The general gist of it looks good, just a few other comments:
-m1-4: There's an electric piano playing some chords here too along with the melody, did you leave that out intentionally?
-There's a little bass fill at beats 3-4 of m40 (and the few times this bar comes back)

[Latios212]

Yeah trying to include everything will probably make it a bit too blocky. You could try adding some more harmonic colours though, like adding a B on the upbeat of m6, and something more dissonant on the upbeat of m12 (I don't really hear anything alterations besides the b9, but a #5 or just the 7th might give that same effect). Also, during the solo lines, adding a second voice to the harmonized parts ("Tell me, tell me" and "hurt me, hurt me" for example) probably helps with accentuating those parts too.

Chatted a little bit on Discord and added in/adjusted some harmonies. I added in B's for the upbeats in m. 5-11, and changed the D# to an E in the upbeat of m. 12 which I think sounds nice! I also added harmonies on those call/response parts in m. 13-16 and similar. Lastly, I added sixths to some places in the middle of the song - m. 36-44 and its later iterations. m. 65-67 also, but I adjusted them a bit in m. 66-67 to not clash with the left hand part.

Since you have the new tempo marking alongside it, it should be clear enough that the quarter notes become half notes. However, I noticed the first 8th notes on beat 3 in m1 and 2 seem to start just before the beat, which would be the swung 8th in double time. I can live with keeping it as 8th notes too, but if you wanna include that in the sheet, it might be best to write the first few bars in double time too already.

I'm not suuuper sure about this - and also it'd mess up the current spacing across 3 pages... so I think I'll leave it as is for now

The general gist of it looks good, just a few other comments:
-m1-4: There's an electric piano playing some chords here too along with the melody, did you leave that out intentionally?
-There's a little bass fill at beats 3-4 of m40 (and the few times this bar comes back)

Got these! For the first few bars I added a harmony note or two wherever they fit, that part is rather subtle

Thanks for checking, I updated the files

[Bloop]

I'm not suuuper sure about this - and also it'd mess up the current spacing across 3 pages... so I think I'll leave it as is for now

Ah yes, that does mess with the system spacing a bit.. It's probably not too important, but maybe let's see what another updater thinks ^^ The rest looks good, so I'll approve for now!
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[Libera]

-Have you considered G# -> B for the grace notes in the pickup, rather than E -> G#?  I feel like the shorter interval B -> C# emulates the sliding onto the C# better than the perfect fourth G# -> C# which sounds a bit more like an arpeggio than a slide.  Maybe just personal preference on my end.
-The rhythms at the start sound kind of off (beats 4 of bars 1-2).  It's hard to tell because there's not much context, but I think the swing has actually already started at that point (so swung sixteenths I guess...)
-In bars 13/15 etc. why not have the harmony voice on the seventh for beats 1/4, like it is in the original?  The tonic is being played by the left hand anyway.
-It sounds like you're missing out the bass movement on beat 4 of bar 34.
-In bars 45-51/61-67, the bass part changes up compared to the other two sections for the 'chorus'.  The main thing I'd suggest adding in is some of the chromatic descents, like the G# -> Gn -> F# in bar 46->47/62->63.  Could be cool.

Otherwise looks good.

[Latios212]

-Have you considered G# -> B for the grace notes in the pickup, rather than E -> G#?  I feel like the shorter interval B -> C# emulates the sliding onto the C# better than the perfect fourth G# -> C# which sounds a bit more like an arpeggio than a slide.  Maybe just personal preference on my end.

I did play around with this a little bit, and I do like the E-G# that I wrote in better. The slide in the original covers the range uniformly so writing just the upper notes feels a bit "lopsided" towards the upper half. Plus, it makes the C#m key immediately obvious. Personal preference for sure but yeah that is what I was going for.

-The rhythms at the start sound kind of off (beats 4 of bars 1-2).  It's hard to tell because there's not much context, but I think the swing has actually already started at that point (so swung sixteenths I guess...)

I wasn't too sure, but Bloop mentioned this too so both of you are probably right. I wanted to keep the shift to double time between m. 4-5 (partially to avoid having super empty measures at the beginning), so I've denoted swing 16ths for the intro and swing eighths for the rest. Hope the tempo markings are clear and concise enough?

-In bars 13/15 etc. why not have the harmony voice on the seventh for beats 1/4, like it is in the original?  The tonic is being played by the left hand anyway.

I initially thought they sounded a bit funny as parallel fourths, particularly the A-D# tritone in m. 15-16, but trying it out again I'm fine with it... I think. Updated m. 13-16 and 21-24!

-It sounds like you're missing out the bass movement on beat 4 of bar 34.

Hmm I'm not sure I follow what you mean here. I think I can hear something like this when listening a little closer...

Spoiler

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[close]

but that upper B# is uncomfortably close to the melody and the lower A is awkward to play before those octaves, and this song is fast enough I think a little gap here is fine. Let me know if you meant something different, though.

-In bars 45-51/61-67, the bass part changes up compared to the other two sections for the 'chorus'.  The main thing I'd suggest adding in is some of the chromatic descents, like the G# -> Gn -> F# in bar 46->47/62->63.  Could be cool.

Ooh you're right, I missed that nice movement. I've adjusted beats 3-4 of m. 45, 46, 61, and 62 accordingly!

Thanks for checking, files updated!

[Libera]

That all sounds/looks great!  Happy to accept.

Although, did you still want to do this?

- I'll align the swung notes with the triplets when we're just about done

[Latios212]

Ah yes, thank you for the reminder. Files updated!

[Libera]

No problem.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot