[PS4] Marvel's Spider-Man - "Anything for a Story" by Fantastic Ike

[Fantastic Ike]

Will be asking for help with the chords at the end later, probably tomorrow. But I think I should've taken care of most of the other problems.

[Libera]

I guess it's more about making it a little more consistent.  Compare bar 17 to bar 20: do these really need to be presented differently?  I find it hard to hear any real difference between these aurally.  But yes, simplifying, particularly in bar 18 would go a long way.

You may have gone too far haha.  This texture is now great but you've lost some of the dissonance.  Maybe change the RH Ebs in bars 18-20 to Dns?  That way it is also consistent with bar 17 as well.

Will be asking for help with the chords at the end later, probably tomorrow. But I think I should've taken care of most of the other problems.

The main thing is I don't really hear these Fs and Gbs in the chords, and especially not the Cb + Ab in bar 41-42.  It sounds like it should start with the harmony on Eb + Bb in bar 35, which then stays until bar 38 when it moves to Dn + An (keep the restrike in bar 37).  Bar 41 sounds like it should just be another Eb + Bb.  Bars 42/44 also sound like they should have the extra Bb on beat 1.  I think the chords move a lot less than you might think, but the bass moving makes it sound like more is going on than it really is.

Other things:

-The con pedale marking should go below the lower staff, at the very beginning.
-Some of the LH markings are colliding with stems.
-Speaking of the LH markings, they're a little confusing in places.  Are you really intended to play that opening note with your left hand?  It seems like it would be far easier with your right hand.
-The staves don't need to be super wide on system 5 page 1.  Just move the mp to the left and you can have the staves at a much more reasonable separation.
-Conversely, bars 18-20 may need a bit more space between the systems to handle the articulations (or you could use a sim at some point to get rid of the LH articulations, which might be a better option).
-Similarly, you could use a sim to get rid of the dynamics in bars 25-28 if you wanted to, and maybe another one for 35-44 for the LH again.

[Fantastic Ike]

I think that's everything, hopefully it's getting up to NSM standards

[Libera]

You may have gone too far haha.  This texture is now great but you've lost some of the dissonance.  Maybe change the RH Ebs in bars 18-20 to Dns?  That way it is also consistent with bar 17 as well.

I was suggesting changing the right hand Ebs to Dns rather than the left hand ones.  I think it makes more sense that way because then you get consistency in the left hand with bars 13-17.

-The con pedale in bar 1 needs a bit more space, which you could find by stretching out the distribution across to the bottom margin a little more, or by just widening the gap between the first and second systems a little.
-The dynamics in bar 21 need a little more care.  If the mp is just for the RH it should go above the stave and the pp for the left hand should start at the start of the bar.  Unless I'm confused at what you are trying to write here.
-Watch for collisions between the ties and the notes/accidentals in bars 35-42.  Those need tidying up.
-Make sure all of the systems RH margins are aligned to the page RH margin.  Some of them are off at the moment.

I think that's everything, hopefully it's getting up to NSM standards

I think we are close now!

[Fantastic Ike]

I think that's everything. Dunno how the margins got off though.

[Libera]

The ties in 35+ still need care.  Here is how 35-36 might look:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

[Fantastic Ike]

Sorry! Thought it had gotten fixed the first time around. Hopefully now it looks good

[Libera]

Ok I hope these are the final things.

-The systems on page 2 need more space for the 8vas to be clear.  Spread the systems out so that you make use of all the page (up to the margins obviously) and make the 8vas be closer to the staves.
-The url/copyright info is slightly misaligned, though I swear I've checked that before and it's been fine.
-Those final ties in bar 41-42 are still slightly colliding.

[Fantastic Ike]

Okay, think that's all good now.

[Libera]

Ok the url still wasn't aligned but in the interests of sanity I've made the edit myself.  I also made some minor adjustments to neaten up the sheet in a few places while I was there, fixing misaligned notes in 17-20, aligning some dynamics across the whole sheet and spreading out the systems a little more on page 2 (so that it matches page 3).  Anyway, I'll accept now.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot