[PC] Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling - "Lost Castle of Ancient Worship" by Bloop

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
Console: PC
Title: Lost Castle of Ancient Worship
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop

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[Bloop]

I simplified the higher pizzicato string part in m4 to the L.H. figure, as aside from that measure it won't be possible to play in the rest of the arrangement and I didn't want this one measure to stand out.

[Libera]

This looks great.  Just a few small things from me:

-The chord in bar 2 is voiced very heavily.  Might I suggest making it a little lighter?  I think it sounds a bit much in comparison to the rest of the arrangement.
-Is some of the harmony in bars 6-13 intentionally omitted?  I think it sounds fine but maybe could be a little more consistent, like adding the A and Bb in bars 10-11.
-I would suggest not writing the D in as a third layer and just bringing it into the chord.  I don't think you get much benefit for making it look a lot more complicated.
-Have you considered 2 bar systems at the end and moving an extra system onto page 1?  That final system starts to look kind of awkward with the semiquavers.  Not a huge deal though.

[Bloop]

-Is some of the harmony in bars 6-13 intentionally omitted?  I think it sounds fine but maybe could be a little more consistent, like adding the A and Bb in bars 10-11.

Not intentionally haha, I think I just didn't hear the attack of the lower notes in m10-11. I played around a bit with the rolled chords and the grace notes, since it's pretty hard to decide where to place the grace note in relation to the rolled chord. I don't think I missed that much in the other bars though?

Did everything else too! Thanks for taking a look!

[Libera]

Not intentionally haha, I think I just didn't hear the attack of the lower notes in m10-11. I played around a bit with the rolled chords and the grace notes, since it's pretty hard to decide where to place the grace note in relation to the rolled chord. I don't think I missed that much in the other bars though?

That looks good now!  Everything else looks good too.

Apologies that I didn't notice this last time but finale's default placement for the slur at the end of bar 18 is kind of silly and could probably look a lot nicer.

Will approve though in the meantime.

[Bloop]

Fixed that as well!

[Latios212]

Looks good, a few things before accepting!
- The bass changes in m. 13, 23, and 5 from the A-based ostinato to a Bb-based one. The second half of m. 25 dips down to G - double check these places
- I think the E at the beginning of m. 10 would be better off as a grace note like in m. 22
- Also in m. 10/22 maybe the D would be better in the lower layer too to keep the melody isolated?
- The low A's in the last page sound a bit empty, and particularly anticlimactic in m. 26. Perhaps consider octave doubling below?
- How about a dynamic change or something at m. 30 to indicate more buildup of tension especially since the low bass voice isn't starting to move like in the original?

[Bloop]

- The bass changes in m. 13, 23, and 5 from the A-based ostinato to a Bb-based one. The second half of m. 25 dips down to G - double check these places

Oh wow, I never noticed it wasn't just all the same haha. Should be fixed! I heard the second half of m13 go down to a G too.

- I think the E at the beginning of m. 10 would be better off as a grace note like in m. 22

I had that before but I actually changed it to include it in the arpeggio, since having it as a grace note makes the order of notes to be rolled a bit ambiguous and awkward. It sounds a bit weird to play it like E-A-D-F

- Also in m. 10/22 maybe the D would be better in the lower layer too to keep the melody isolated?

Good point, my original reasoning for having the D in another layer (because the player won't be able to hold it for the full bar) doesn't apply to other parts of the sheet anymore anyway

- The low A's in the last page sound a bit empty, and particularly anticlimactic in m. 26. Perhaps consider octave doubling below?
- How about a dynamic change or something at m. 30 to indicate more buildup of tension especially since the low bass voice isn't starting to move like in the original?

I think leaving out the lower octave together with the pedal usage helps with giving m26 the soaring vibe it has in the original, but I added a staccato octave below the first note in m26 as an ending for the pizzicato ostinato/percussion part, and added octaves from m30 to indicate the buildup.

Files updated!

[Latios212]

Okay, all looks good to me! Accepting

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot