Kricketune's Halloween Sheet

[Kricketune54]

Kirby Halloween sheet going strong into its 3rd year for me!

The intro was definitely the toughest part to come up with.

Not every part in the intro lines up exactly how it is in the intro, specifically that the second measure has a rest before the tremolos (the thinking being that would give the player time to play the run with both hands and to then do the tremolos) as well as the second run in m5 technically happens at the same time of the notes of the previous measure.


Additional Notes

m19, 21, and 23 the LH is a combination of the harp and the low quarter note strings (harp part is down an octave from the original), but I felt m20, 22, and 24 worked better feeling a bit more static (the harp notes don't blend as well here either).

m26 I didn't think the harp run fit well so I added chord notes underneath the melody in the RH.

m33 beat 4 reorganized this chord

[XiaoMigros]

• m33 b2: I think there's a C# here
• m25: The Fn can technically be spelled either way, but it would look neater as E#
• m19, 21 & 23: Showing the quarter rests in the RH would provide more clarity
• m34 b2 should be spelled as A# and C# (F# chord)

As for the intro:

• I'm not sure how much sense it makes writing this in 4/4. Maybe something cadenza-esque would be more fitting? I like what you have written currently, it just feels a bit too linear.
• The long runs shouldn't have fixed tuplet values, so hiding the number would be best.
• It might be worth writing the F# in m2 as Gb, so all the notes are legible
• Since this section is played freely, I don't think rit. markings are needed.

[Kricketune54]

Hi Xiao, thank you for the feedback, sorry it took a little while to get to.

I don't disagree with the cadenza idea. I don't know how to hide the tuplet numeric values though. Beyond that I have updated the sheet with the note fixes as well.  Keeping the rit. but hiding them as to keep the audio playback somewhat representative.  Thanks!

[Kricketune54]

I was able to figure out how to remove tuplet numbers, I also have updated some eighth note beaming in the Cadenza section.

[Bloop]

Cadenza:
-Since the intro is now a cadenza, you can hide the time signature (with the measure tool) and force show it in the true m1 instead. Maybe you can do the same thing with the key signature, and show accidentals again at the start of the 8va part in the R.H. (as people might forget the D#'s after a while)
-I think the harp run at the start of the cadenza starts on a G, and also plays the C# and D# after the first B (albeit a bit softer and quicker)
-The Eb's in the L.H. might be better written like D#'s, since they're like that in the R.H. as well.

The rest::
-m11: I don't hear the E on beat 4 in the R.H. here
-m14 and 18: I think it might be better for the L.H. to continue with the harp part, so there's a bit more motion in the sheet instead of a triple octave doubled melody line.
-m19-20: Maybe you could write the second layer in these measures like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
I think I hear all these voices in the harp part, though transposed in octaves in the R.H. if needed.
-m21-28: You could consider doubling the melody an octave above: there's not an instrument that's playing in that octave in the original, but the melody is played by both harpsichord and oboe, so having it in octaves and piano gives it a bit of the same punch. If you wanna keep it as a single line though, I'd suggest moving the top notes in the R.H. in m28 down an octave, so the melody is still on top. In both cases, the note in the R.H. on beat 3 in m29 should be a half note.
-Maybe you could consider writing m13 and m21 in a different dynamic? I'm thinking mp in m13 and f in m21, mostly to evoke the feel of the part rather than the actual volume. m1 is soft but punchy, m13 is a bit denser in orchestration but sounds lighter because of the legato, and m21 is the climax.

[Kricketune54]

Cadenza:
-Since the intro is now a cadenza, you can hide the time signature (with the measure tool) and force show it in the true m1 instead. Maybe you can do the same thing with the key signature, and show accidentals again at the start of the 8va part in the R.H. (as people might forget the D#'s after a while)

Implemented this

-I think the harp run at the start of the cadenza starts on a G, and also plays the C# and D# after the first B (albeit a bit softer and quicker)

This is the hardest part of the song to figure out lol. Not sure if what i did reflects exactly as this feedback intended but I have updated.

-The Eb's in the L.H. might be better written like D#'s, since they're like that in the R.H. as well.

Got it, fixed.

The rest::
-m11: I don't hear the E on beat 4 in the R.H. here

Gotcha, I think I heard reverb

-m14 and 18: I think it might be better for the L.H. to continue with the harp part, so there's a bit more motion in the sheet instead of a triple octave doubled melody line.

Fixed this

-m19-20: Maybe you could write the second layer in these measures like this:
I think I hear all these voices in the harp part, though transposed in octaves in the R.H. if needed.

I don't hear a D in m19 but as a means of cleaning up m20 a bit I don't think it's bad to move the E# in m19 down to the LH so it moves up to F# in m20. Admittedly I was having trouble figuring out how to do m20 chordwise and I think this works

-m21-28: You could consider doubling the melody an octave above: there's not an instrument that's playing in that octave in the original, but the melody is played by both harpsichord and oboe, so having it in octaves and piano gives it a bit of the same punch. If you wanna keep it as a single line though, I'd suggest moving the top notes in the R.H. in m28 down an octave, so the melody is still on top. In both cases, the note in the R.H. on beat 3 in m29 should be a half note.

Played around with this and I think I'll go with the added octaves. Thought it might end up too bright but it matches up well with the previous section imo

-Maybe you could consider writing m13 and m21 in a different dynamic? I'm thinking mp in m13 and f in m21, mostly to evoke the feel of the part rather than the actual volume. m1 is soft but punchy, m13 is a bit denser in orchestration but sounds lighter because of the legato, and m21 is the climax.

Yes I think that's good, and i think it would also good to sort of translate the harp movement of m20 into a cresc. . I have also added mf at the repeat as well as before m1.

Thanks!

[Bloop]

For the cadenza, you could've left all the current E#'s as Fn's. Also, not sure if you forgot the cautionary accidentals on the D#'s, but I'd suggest something like this:
You cannot view this attachment.

Aside from that, the forte in m21 could be moved up a bit so it's more centered, but that's all! Great sheet ^^

[Kricketune54]

Gotcha, I have changed E#'s to Fn's, and added some courtesy D#'s... I guess I didn't quite realize that is what you had meant! Fixed the Forte in m21 as well.

Thanks!

[Bloop]

Nice, I'll approve!
You cannot view this attachment.

EDIT: Didn't notice this at first, but you can also add the melody notes in m28 (the B - A# - B) up an octave, since currently the melody suddenly drops out there. I'll let the approval stand though so another updater can take a look ^^

[Kricketune54]

Added!

[Libera]

-For the intro scale, I guess the specific notes don't matter that much, but I think it should end on C# -> D# -> Fn, like in the original.  Also, I'm pretty sure there's a Cn (the one above middle C) in the middle of the run, which changes the tone a little bit away from the rest which sounds whole tone to me.  The starting notes sound right to me though.
-Without reference to the original and with no direction in the sheet, I think it's pretty hard for the performer to play the cadenza in such a way that it sounds very close to the original.  At least giving them something to tell them that it slows down would be pretty helpful, although maybe you can implicitly do that with note durations.  At the moment, I think the performer is going to assume that the eighths at the beginning are at least roughly equivalent to the eighths at the end, when in actuality they're completely different lengths in the original.
-Accent on b4 left hand in bar 8?
-It sounds like there are F#s on every each chord in bar 12.  Maybe put them in above what is currently in the left hand?  Same for bar 28 I think.
-Has the harp accompaniment been simplified in bars 13+?  It sounds to me like it is a lot more chromatic and less repetitive than what is written in.
-I might just be imagining it but I think there is an E#/Fn in bar 19 and a C# in bar 20.  It would certainly round the harmony out a bit more.

If you have any questions feel free to ask.  I'll be around all day.

[Kricketune54]

-For the intro scale, I guess the specific notes don't matter that much, but I think it should end on C# -> D# -> Fn, like in the original.  Also, I'm pretty sure there's a Cn (the one above middle C) in the middle of the run, which changes the tone a little bit away from the rest which sounds whole tone to me.  The starting notes sound right to me though.

I assumed with previous feedback that this was the thinking as well, but truthfully the reason I had the G and B after the C#-D#-Fn progression was that it sounded like those were two chime pitches that I felt were creating the same Bn chime ring that happens at the end of the run. But I see how ending on an F makes more sense so I've shuffled that around a bit.

-Without reference to the original and with no direction in the sheet, I think it's pretty hard for the performer to play the cadenza in such a way that it sounds very close to the original.  At least giving them something to tell them that it slows down would be pretty helpful, although maybe you can implicitly do that with note durations.  At the moment, I think the performer is going to assume that the eighths at the beginning are at least roughly equivalent to the eighths at the end, when in actuality they're completely different lengths in the original.

messaged on Discord but hope this works

-Accent on b4 left hand in bar 8?

Good callout added

-It sounds like there are F#s on every each chord in bar 12.  Maybe put them in above what is currently in the left hand?  Same for bar 28 I think.

I honestly don't think there

-Has the harp accompaniment been simplified in bars 13+?  It sounds to me like it is a lot more chromatic and less repetitive than what is written in.

Not sure I understand this point - this rhythm and notes, albeit not the same octave as the original, is exactly how I hear the harp part at least for m13-14 and m17-18.  I had established going with the simpler and more prominent bass/brass instrument notes in m16. Upon relistening to m15 though I did hear some differences and changed that.

-I might just be imagining it but I think there is an E#/Fn in bar 19 and a C# in bar 20.  It would certainly round the harmony out a bit more.

I agree with you on m19 - referring again to Bloop's feedback that E# got bumped down to the LH. While I don't hear a C# in m20 I think I do hear a D, which I personally feel works better at least for the first half of the measure. Open to more discussion on this measure but I've added the E# you've mentioned and the Dn I mentioned.

If you have any questions feel free to ask.  I'll be around all day.

Sorry this took a while to get to I've been out and about today
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[Libera]

In the interest of time, Kricketune and I ironed this stuff out over discord.  Most of the changes discussed above were made, as well as a few other miscellaneous presentation changes.

Accepted!