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[Atcero]

Oh boi replacement time! Last one for Dawn of Sorrow too

Name I took from the updated name format they had but can easily be changed back to The Pinnacle if needed.
There were a few chords I was not able to fully hear so I could not fill them in fully, but all the chords I do have in there should be correct.

Other filez: [PDF] [MIDI]

[Bloop]

-m1: I hear an F# instead of an E in the L.H. Also, I hear the R.H. here an octave higher.
-m2: You could maybe add the E and D# from the background synth-choir-ish voice in the L.H. on beat 1 and 3. The one on beat 1 can be a half note, but the one on beat 3 can be a quarter note since it's cut off by the D# on beat 4 anyway.
-m3-6: The bass notes here should all be E. You can use the B and A# in m5-6 as snare imitations then. The bass note on m6 beat 4.5 should be a B(n) though.
-m7 and other places: Anytime there's this R.H. rhythm like in beat 3-4, it should be a quarter triplet I think. However, that's really annoying to play with the bassline, so I'm doubting whether it's actually better to just keep it like that haha. You could compromise by just making it a quarter triplet when the L.H. is doing straight 8ths instead of the 16th rhythm like here in m7.
-m8 and 12: The D in the R.H. on beat 3 should be a B (below)
-m15-18: Same as in m3-6, bass notes should be E (also m18 beat 4.5 too here). Make sure to write the Bb's in m16 and 18 as A#'s, like in m3-6.
-m20, 22 and 24: Bottom B in the R.H. should be an A, which goes to a B on beat 3.
-m27-29: Bass notes should be E once again
-m30: Surprise, here the bass notes are D#!
-m31-34: Bass notes should all be C#. The D# on m32 beat 4.5 should be G#.
-m32 and 34: You can write the Gn's as Fx's (because they lead towards the G#: in C minor, it would be F# to Gn, but in C# minor everything gets another sharp)
-m31-36: I don't specifically hear the melody doubled an octave above, but I do hear a quieter flute line a 6th above (which you could also write a third below, so the melody isn't in the bottom voice)
-m38: Cn should be B# (leading tone towards the C#). Also, I think it might sound better to have the L.H. in beat 3-4 just play the bass notes (G# G# D# G# G# (last one up an octave)), instead of trying to add the drum fill in as well
-m41: I hear some C# in beat 3-4 in the R.H. rhythm as well (actually up an octave, but best to keep it below the melody here too)
-m42: Cn here should be B# too, same reason as m38.
-m44: Gn in the R.H. should be Fx (leading chromatically towards G#). Also, if you decided to write the rhythms before as quarter triplets, this rhythm should look like this:

-m46: Another Cn that should be a B#.
-m47-62: I imagine this is mostly the part where you couldn't hear the chords? The (synth) brass parts seem to just be playing chord tones underneath that don't have a particular melodic phrase, so I'll just tell you the chords and you can decide how to put the chord tones in. I hear the melody up an octave too btw.

Spoiler

47: C#m
48: G#m
49: A, B/A (so B major with A in the bass)
50: G#m7, C#m
51: D#ø, G#7
52: C#m, C#m7/B
53: A#dim, D#7 (D#, Fx, A#, C#)
54: G#
55: C#m
56: G#m
57: A, B/A
58: G#m7, C#m
59: D#ø, G#7
60: C#m, C#m7/B, A#ø
61: A (maybe add a courtesy accidental to the L.H. here?)
62: G#sus4, G#

[close]

I hear the melody an octave higher here btw. Also, make sure any Cn's here are B#'s too.
-m53: The jump up from the low octave D# in the L.H. to the octave G# in the next bar is a bit big, maybe you could raise these D#'s up an octave?
-m54: The accents on the snare drum are on beats 1.5, 2, 3.5 and 4 (instead of 2, 2.5, 4 and 4.5). Maybe you could do something like this instead?

-m58-59: Make sure to remove some of the harmony notes in the L.H. here, since they don't really belong here.
-m63-68: I hear this in the R.H.:

-m66: You might wanna put the new R.H. and the violin run here in the same layer, since you won't be able to hold the low 5th at the same time as the violin run.
-m68: Funnily enough, the one time you did use B#, this one can be an Cn together with the Fn a 5th below :p That's because this part is modulating back to Em, and the Fn-Cn is the b2/b6 from the bass note.

[Atcero]

Got that all updated, thank you so much!

I did not put in the triplets however to keep ease of playing up if thats ok.

I also forgot to do formatting on page 3 I will get that done I'm sorry :cri:

[Bloop]

There's still quite a lot of stuff that hasn't been changed in the current mus file in the dropbox, are you sure you updated with the most recent one?

[Atcero]

Looks like a lot of my changes didnt save?? Weird, ill redo that cause yeah i had it all done, weird. I'll get that done by tonight!

[Atcero]

All right so looks like my desktop and laptop saved different versions onto the dropbox so i think my laptop isnt logged in properly.

All the changes however should now be in, thanks for letting me know!

[Bloop]

Some things that popped up/I forgot before:
-m2: I actually meant adding in the E an D# in the L.H., not the R.H. There's more room for it there too, and it resolves nicely to the E in m3.
-m13-14: I missed this the first time around, but the bass notes here should be A-B-C-D (instead of E-F#-G-A)
-m16 and 18: Beat 4.5 here should be an E too (with "m18 beat 4.5 too here" I actually meant "this should be an E too", sorry if that was a bit unclear on my part :p)
-m25: Bass notes here should be A-B too, like m13.
-m27-29: You forgot changing these bass notes to E's.
-m32 and 34: The E below the Fx should be a D#.
-m38: You forgot my comments about this measure: Cn should be B# (leading tone towards the C#). Also, I think it might sound better to have the L.H. in beat 3-4 just play the bass notes (G# G# D# G# G# (last one up an octave)), instead of trying to add the drum fill in as well
-m44: The Gn at the end of the R.H. here should be an Fx. Also, the bass should go to A# in beat 3 (I thought it was like that before?)

About the newly added harmony:
-m47-48: Is there a particular reason the added harmony is in the first layer here? They should look the same as m55-56.
-m50 and 58: The C# in beat 1 here should also be a D#. Also, you accidentally deleted a note in the melody in m50: beat 3-4 should be dotted quarter + eighth.
-m51 and 59: You can delete the low F# on beat 1, as it isn't holdable with the melody going to An. In beat 3, the chord tones should be B# and D# (any more isn't playable, this is actually not entirely playable until the end too but it's the best possible). Lastly, the Cn in the melody should be G# too.
-m52: You can delete the low C# on beat 1 for the same reason as m51. F# on beat 3 should be a G#, but I think I'd write these chord tones as E-G#-B instead, since the C# is played on beat 3.5 already too.
-m53: Ax on beat 3 should be A# instead, but the F# should be Fx
-m60: I think you can make the harmony in beat 3 a half note instead of a quarter note.
-m61: You can delete the lower C# on beat 1 for the same reason as m51.
-m62: The Cn here should be B# too.

That should be all I think!

[Atcero]

Sorry about the missed stuff, that was cause of the transfer from laptop file to desktop file was wonky :cri:
Got everything else updated, thanks so much!

[Bloop]

Looks good now, I'll approve!

[Libera]

Definitely spooky enough.  Feedback:

-The beginning of the sheet is quite cramped at the moment (compare bar 15 to bar 27).  I think it would do the sheet a lot of good if you were to spread out the first 6 or so systems, even if that means adding an extra page on at the end.
-I'm not hearing the same notes that you've written in for the RH in bar 2.  It sounds like this to me:

Spoiler

[close]

There is an F# on beat 1 but it doesn't sound like it's in the arpeggios.  I've written in a suggestion for how I might write out the left hand here to try and incorporate all of the harmony in a consistent manner.
-My main concern is with the left hand accompaniment pattern throughout the whole sheet.  It seems to arbitrarily change (sometimes low -> high, sometimes high -> low, sometimes incorporates the snare drum pattern, sometimes doesn't etc.).  Is there some rationale behind this which I'm not seeing?  At the very least, I think that the snare should be treated the same in bar 54 as it is in bar 55+, which would look something like...

Spoiler

[close]

-A slightly separate matter is where in a few places the bass remains constant for a while and then drops down a fifth on the last eighth of the bar (e.g. 6, 27, 31...) but you've placed this note in between the alternating octaves, which doesn't really give the same feel at all.  I'd recommend lowering this note below the lower octave so that you still get the sense of the bass 'dropping down' at the end of the phrase.
-The D# on beat 1 of bar 40 actually stays on a D# on beat 3 rather than dropping to the B, and you don't need the B anyway for the harmony since it's already in the left hand.
-Definitely don't miss out the E and the D# in bars 45 and 46.  Especially as there isn't anything interesting going on rhythmically, you really want the full harmony there I feel.
-The chords aren't wrong in 47+, but I feel like it's a bit odd for the quietest place in the arrangement to suddenly go to full chords.  I'd suggest sticking to three notes at once in the right hand i.e. cutting out the E in bar 47, and the B/E in bar 50.  You could then keep these in 55+ to help with the increased dynamic.
-I wouldn't miss out the F## on beat 1 of bar 53.
-The Cn on beat 4 of bar 59 should be a B# (like in bar 51).
-I think for phrasing purposes, it would help if the forte was marked at the beginning of the phrase (bar 55) and the player was directed to cresc. through to it, rather than stopping a bar earlier.  I think it would be a lot more natural to play, and helps you to see where the new section starts properly.
-At the moment you've just got two notes (E and A#) in the second half of bar 60, so I'd keep the G# going there to warm the harmony up.  It sounds a little bare suddenly at the moment.
-I'd put the D# in bar 62 to really get that Vsus4 -> V resolution going.
-You're missing the thirds from all of the chords in the RH in bars 63+
-The run in bar 66 should look like this:

Spoiler

[close]

with the partial beam break on beat 4.  (It helps a lot with readability when you have triplets mixed in with regular notes).

Let me know if you need any clarification on anything.

[Atcero]

Thank you so much! Got that all updated minus a few things:

-A slightly separate matter is where in a few places the bass remains constant for a while and then drops down a fifth on the last eighth of the bar (e.g. 6, 27, 31...) but you've placed this note in between the alternating octaves, which doesn't really give the same feel at all.  I'd recommend lowering this note below the lower octave so that you still get the sense of the bass 'dropping down' at the end of the phrase.

I am not fully sure what you mean by this so if you could provide and example just so I am sure what youre saying if thats ok. I think I understand but just wanna make sure (and you can ping me in discord if that works better for that)

and then this

-My main concern is with the left hand accompaniment pattern throughout the whole sheet.  It seems to arbitrarily change (sometimes low -> high, sometimes high -> low, sometimes incorporates the snare drum pattern, sometimes doesn't etc.).  Is there some rationale behind this which I'm not seeing?  At the very least, I think that the snare should be treated the same in bar 54 as it is in bar 55+, which would look something like...

I am inconsistent with the bass going low to high or high to low, which can be changed no problem in places without the snare if it fits better (most likely making them go high to low to fit with the bass in m7 unless it has a note or snare)
With the snare, I have it out for some parts of the song cause it doesn't seem to be the most prominent to me at least until the end. I do see where youre coming from with that in m55 onwards, but I do feel it looses a lot if it goes to that simpler bassline in this arrangement, which I've tried to avoid for this song in general. So if possible, I would like to keep the bass how I have it written past those measures.

[Libera]

Atcero and I talked these points through extensively over discord, as well as tidying up formatting and making sure all of the edits had been completed.  I will accept now!