[Wii] Rhythm Heaven Fever - "Screwbot Factory" by ThatHiddenCharacter

[Latios212]

Alright, I've decided to keep thing consistent and accurate, since it sounds perfectly fine to me, I'm keeping them as C's.

Sorry for the wait here! I'm fine with your decision. I'd probably have written it as a Bn but the major seventh is pretty quick to pass and keeping the bass rooted in C makes sense musically.

Otherwise, I believe everything should be updated fine.

Skimming through everything else, I think the rest of my comments were addressed, except this one:

- m. 29 beat 2.5 chord sounds like C instead of Db.

Lastly, you can move the music down on pages 2-3 a little bit to give the header and page number a bit more room. I think that's all that remains from me, nice work!

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Skimming through everything else, I think the rest of my comments were addressed, except this one:

How correct you are.

I have updated the files.

[Latios212]

Lastly, you can move the music down on pages 2-3 a little bit to give the header and page number a bit more room. I think that's all that remains from me, nice work!

Missed this too?

Anyway, everything else looks good so I'll approve! Nice work, glad to have more Rhythm Heaven sheets!

You cannot view this attachment.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Missed this too?

What, no. I did move them down. Quite a bit, too.

[Latios212]

What, no. I did move them down. Quite a bit, too.

Ah, I see. I don't mean to overindex on this point, but I did want to make sure I explained myself properly (reference post).

With what you have right now, the header has a disproportionately small amount of space above the top staff. By contrast, the bottom of the page has a lot of whitespace, which makes the distribution of stuff on the page look a little lopsided.

Spoiler

[close]

If you lower the top staff some more to give the header more space underneath, you also help the page look a bit more balanced.

Spoiler

[close]

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

I think I realized what happened. These are older arrangements of mine, so it's very likely I made them with the old template I had which doesn't fit some of the current standards for submissions. Does it look better now?

[Kricketune54]

Looks good, not a whole lot for me to comment on here!

• m2 both staffs and m38 RH I think staccato is too short - you could do portato (staccato and tenuto marking) to indicate space between pitches... but not full staccato.
• m10 LH 4.0 hearing Dn under here as well
• m11-12 RH I think you could tie the half note to an 8th note as it doesn't really sound like a gap to me
• m12 RH 4.5 hearing this C and the Bn in m13 up an octave. You could pull up m16 and m17 same spots as well, but I do understand if you want to keep this as is.
• m29 RH 1.75-2.0 hearing Fn on bottom not Gn
• m31 RH 1.0 hearing Dn on bottom not En

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

• m10 LH 4.0 hearing Dn under here as well

You're right.

• m12 RH 4.5 hearing this C and the Bn in m13 up an octave. You could pull up m16 and m17 same spots as well, but I do understand if you want to keep this as is.

I spent some time debating whether it was an octave higher or not, but came to the conclusion that it sounds more like it's just a change in the shehnai's timbre as it goes into its lower register. I've messed around a bit with shehnai sounds in the past, and it does do that as it gets lower. Well, it's either a shehnai or a zurna, but both kinda do that same thing either way.

Files are updated.

[Kricketune54]

I spent some time debating whether it was an octave higher or not, but came to the conclusion that it sounds more like it's just a change in the shehnai's timbre as it goes into its lower register. I've messed around a bit with shehnai sounds in the past, and it does do that as it gets lower. Well, it's either a shehnai or a zurna, but both kinda do that same thing either way.

Yeah reexamined as well, I think you are good to keep as is.

I do have one really minor comment before I accept, the sempre 8vb text should be be sized the same way as other expression elements, meaning the font should show up a little smaller than currently.

You can duplicate one of the the expressions (personally I like doing this as opposed to having a text element) and make the text "sempre 8vb", or decrease the size of your current one to 9 pt font so it matches that expression font sizing.  Currently "sempre 8vb" looks a little too big.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Done diddly done! Files are updated. Sorry it took so long, my computer is doing that whole crashing thing again.

[Kricketune54]

Perfect, no worries on time.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Kricketune54.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot