[Wii] Rhythm Heaven Fever - "Screwbot Factory 2" by ThatHiddenCharacter

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Rhythm Heaven
Game: Rhythm Heaven Fever
Console: Wii
Title: Screwbot Factory 2
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ThatHiddenCharacter

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

[Kricketune54]

Is this factory in a pyramid?


• Need to update tempo marker to current format/style
• I think you could add a pickup measure with the fall at the start of the song if you'd like.
• Make sure all of your slurs have grace notes (m32 LH)
• Given the 8vb extends through the whole piece, you could hide it after m4 or write it like this:

Spoiler

[close]

• m1 and m2 beat 3.5 staccatos need a reposition (too close to notehead). m7 RH 4.0, m26 LH also has a weird looking staccato and m30 - would give staccatos a check throughout. Sometimes MuseScore transition is a bit funky for these.
• I think at parts, the measure distribution looks a bit cramped or a bit too spacious. For page 1, could do 3-3-3-3-3, page 2 3-3-3-3-3, and a page 3 consisting of 3-4-3-3-3.


• m4-6, 8-14 LH - any instance of this particular pattern on beat 2.75 hearing Cn not Bn.
• m7 LH just hearing the first note, no second Cn
• m9, 13 beat 2.5 and 2.75 hearing Cn's not Bb's
• m9, 13 2.5 RH add a staccato
• m16-22 RH in this section you could add some middle pitches at parts (from the choral held notes). for example, m16 beat 1 could add a Bn between the G's, and m17 beat 1. Could apply similar thinking throughout this section (I would stay away from beat 3.75 and 4.5 for difficulty).
• m16-18, m21-22 LH hearing 4.5 as a Cn
• m24 LH 4.5 should be a Fn
• m45 beat 4 LH the single note tremolo isn't really used for piano given you're not going to be able to do much faster on a single pitch. Would recommend doing a normal two note tremolo between two octaves. Also, I think progression wise, having these notes for m45 LH be Cn would make a little more sense despite the song finishing on Cn's anyway. Just thinking how notes go Gn-G#-An-Bn in previous measure. Let me know your thoughts!

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Also, I think progression wise, having these notes for m45 LH be Cn would make a little more sense despite the song finishing on Cn's anyway. Just thinking how notes go Gn-G#-An-Bn in previous measure. Let me know your thoughts!

I've already tried a bunch of different pitches for that section, and (in my opinion) G was the only one that actually sounded good and cohesive.

Otherwise, files are updated!

[Kricketune54]

I've already tried a bunch of different pitches for that section, and (in my opinion) G was the only one that actually sounded good and cohesive.

Hmm yeah relistening I have to agree.

• Pickup measure you could make this bar 1/8 in length, remove the need to have any rests before the fall.
• m3 RH 4.0 hearing Db again
• m5 the simile could be a bit smaller - I would use the default expressive text simile found in the expression selection tool in Finale. Easier to move around as well.
• m7 RH 4.0 this staccato is still too close
• m16, 20 RH 3.0 I would recommend using Cn instead of Ab, the Cn I hear a bit more prominently but it's also a bit easier to play than Ab.
• prior to m20 RH there's a very cool strings 16th run up at the end of m19. You could add this, or just add like an Fn grace note to m20 RH 1.0.

• m21 LH 3.0 hearing this Fn down an octave like m18
• m22 RH 3.0 hearing an Ab 16th grace note ahead of current Bn one - so both should be 16th length
• m22 LH hearing this no different as m17 or m18 LH.
• m23 LH I hear for the .5 value of every note, a 16th length restrike of the first pitch (ex. on beat 1.5 hearing Gn, 2.5 hearing G#)
• m28 LH hearing this a bit differently (see screenshot)
• m34 RH 1st layer 3.75 is slightly forward of the Db above it. Can reset position.
• m36 LH I think this starts on a Db and goes down to a Dn
• m37 RH 2.75 the En should be a Dn, and the Cn a Bb

• m39 RH the ties on 1.75 need a bit of flipping - also hearing Ab instead of Gn and no En. On 2.5 only hear 3 pitches top to bottom - Dn-An-En
• m42 4.75 this staccato is still too close
• m44 RH 4.0 hearing Db just like m3.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

I've updated the files, but I did have a lot of disagreements that I (stupidly) posted in the Discord. I'm just copying them to here.

• prior to m20 RH there's a very cool strings 16th run up at the end of m19. You could add this, or just add like an Fn grace note to m20 RH 1.0.
Would something like this be acceptable? (see screenshot)
Obviously with cleaning up the layer situation (I might just change the G's on b1 to half notes and b3 in layer 2 to quarter notes so that everything can be on one layer)

• m21 LH 3.0 hearing this Fn down an octave like m18
Listening to the song pitched up an octave (since that's really the only way to make out the bass in this one), it sounds distinctly an octave higher than the other Fs.

• m23 LH I hear for the .5 value of every note, a 16th length restrike of the first pitch (ex. on beat 1.5 hearing Gn, 2.5 hearing G#)
I'm not hearing that at all. The only thing I hear that could sound like that is the arpeggio synth in the background, but not the bass itself.

• m28 LH hearing this a bit differently (see screenshot)
I disagree, it clearly sounds like the D# is the held note on beat 2, not the Bb on beat 1.75. I will agree about the C being held on beat 2.75, though, and will fix that.

m34 RH 1st layer 3.75 is slightly forward of the Db above it. Can reset position.
That's because it's beat 3.5, not beat 3.75.
The harmony instrument strikes just before the strings melody

m36 LH I think this starts on a Db and goes down to a Dn
I don't believe it really has much in the way of pitch, I've just done Eb since it closes off the melody that would have hit an Eb chord

 m42 4.75 this staccato is still too close
Cause there's no notes on 4.75 in this measure
Actually, there's no notes on 4.75 in any nearby measures except for m44, which doesn't have a staccato there
Never mind, that's not the case
Not sure what's happening with the m42 comment, then

I normally would've just waited to say all this stuff in the thread after I've updated the files, but since I'm going to be waiting for a couple other things for both this and Screwbot Factory, I figured I'd bring them up here so that they can be cleared up in the meantime
I'm going to assume you meant m43 beat 4.5

Otherwise, anything not mentioned, I did. I also just realized that I think you say beat x.75 when you mean beat x.5 a lot. Cause that would explain a lot of the points that don't make sense because there aren't notes on beat x.75 in those places.

[Kricketune54]

Sorry for an extended wait here - in the future could you please make any copy paste posts you do from Discord or elsewhere more readable? Adding the "quote" tag around this block of comments you left made it very hard to follow which comments were mine and which were yours.

Would something like this be acceptable? (see screenshot)
Obviously with cleaning up the layer situation (I might just change the G's on b1 to half notes and b3 in layer 2 to quarter notes so that everything can be on one layer)

I do think this is a good change at m19, the way you have it. I do think it's an An for the 2nd note in the run though, not Ab.

Listening to the song pitched up an octave (since that's really the only way to make out the bass in this one), it sounds distinctly an octave higher than the other Fs.

I still disagree on this but we can table for next updater.

I'm not hearing that at all. The only thing I hear that could sound like that is the arpeggio synth in the background, but not the bass itself.

Relistening I hear what you have now.

I disagree, it clearly sounds like the D# is the held note on beat 2, not the Bb on beat 1.75. I will agree about the C being held on beat 2.75, though, and will fix that.

I had to slow this down a bit more, but I hear what you have now.

m34 RH That's because it's beat 3.5, not beat 3.75.

I see this now, but it's confusing when you have a dotted 8th length note in layer 1, and 8th note length note in layer 2. I would remove the layer 2 8th note to avoid confusion (the note that should be on 3.5 in layer 2 is a Bb fwiw).

I don't believe it really has much in the way of pitch, I've just done Eb since it closes off the melody that would have hit an Eb chord

Okay! Revisiting this this makes sense to me.

Not sure what's happening with the m42 comment, then

Yeah sorry I'm not sure why I put 4.75 as the beat - I think what I meant was in m42 the staccato on beat 4 LH was closer to the notehead than finale will typically default staccato placements to. I don't know if this is something we are too strict about though as an updating team, and it's really not obvious or wrong looking.

Some closing thoughts
• m15 LH I don't hear a note on 3.0 (Dn)
• m24 LH 1.5 the lower Gn is a bit awkward to play, you could remove it without losing much imo
• m24 LH 2.5 you could remove the staccato here
• m41 RH you could add some grace notes add of the G - maybe D Bn Ab?

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

in the future could you please make any copy paste posts you do from Discord or elsewhere more readable?

I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make it readable.

I still disagree on this but we can table for next updater.

Sounds fair.

• m15 LH I don't hear a note on 3.0 (Dn)

You're right, relistening I can tell it was one of the drums I was hearing there.

m24 LH 1.5 the lower Gn is a bit awkward to play, you could remove it without losing much imo

I assume you mean 1.25, and I agree.

I've made all the changes, I believe. Other than the one we're waiting for another updater for.

EDIT: I also just noticed that there was an invisible dynamic from the XML import this entire time that I had missed. I fixed it as well.

[Kricketune54]

Okay just a few small things I noticed, but there small, so I will give a conditional approval just to address them before next updater's review.

• m25 the time signature changes to "C", usually try to be consistent and having this written as 4/4 if that's what was used previously at the start of the sheet.
• The top system on page 2 looks a tad high, though you could lower page 3 as well to be consistent.
• m41 RH I think the slur looks slightly cleaner flipped above the grace notes than below.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

• m25 the time signature changes to "C", usually try to be consistent and having this written as 4/4 if that's what was used previously at the start of the sheet.

Oops, I didn't catch that. Thanks for pointing it out, I hate inconsistencies like that as well.

• The top system on page 2 looks a tad high, though you could lower page 3 as well to be consistent.

Oof, that was an issue with my other submission as well, and I forgot to apply those changes to this one.

Files are updated!

[Latios212]

Alrighty, let's finish screwing these bots together...!

The main thing I want to mention - Keep in mind that while they are there in the original, the way the grace notes are written in m. 17-22 is very performer unfriendly. There is no time to play these like the pitch bends they are using fingers 4 and 5 on the right hand while also being able to get into the hand position that the octave chords demand. I would strongly recommend cutting them out (or alternatively getting rid of the lower octave notes, but I feel like the octave notes are more important). If you leave it as is, the performer will awkwardly struggle to play it at speed unless they decide themselves to cut either the grace notes or octaves.

Other stuff:
- In measure 3 (and 44), is there any particular reason these are written as grace notes while the previous measures use 16th note triplets on the beat? The figures sound like they are articulated the same to me and I think the triplet would be better to indicate that the first note of the figure starts on the beat as opposed to before it like the grace notes may imply. (If you do this, we might need to redistribute measures based on how cramped m. 3 gets...)
- Small thing - but the 8vb line in m. 4 should not have a small end bracket at the end. I... forgot how to make it not have one. I'm pretty sure we have other sheets by other arrangers that do that, feel free to ask for help
- LH of m. 20-21 has notes flipped down when they shouldn't be
- The RH clef changes seem to have disappeared in m. 25-28
- m. 33 should have Cb instead of Bn
- m. 33 LH beat 3 also sounds like Bb (lower) instead of Db
- Is the end of m. 45 supposed to be a tremolo? The rhythm doesn't add up.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

- The RH clef changes seem to have disappeared in m. 25-28

Not sure how this happened.

- Is the end of m. 45 supposed to be a tremolo? The rhythm doesn't add up.

I figured out what I did wrong.

I also noticed that I had forgotten to fix the composer credit in this one after our discussion about it in Screwbot Factory, so I fixed that as well. The files have been updated!

[Latios212]

Awesome! Just a final couple of things:

- LH of m. 20-21 has notes flipped down when they shouldn't be

Beat 3 of 20 and beats 3-4 of m. 21 as well

And with measure 44 having a lot more stuff in it, I think it'd even things out visually to move m. 43 to the previous system.

That's all, I'll accept after the above are adjusted! Great work!

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Awesome! Just a final couple of things:
Beat 3 of 20 and beats 3-4 of m. 21 as well

And with measure 44 having a lot more stuff in it, I think it'd even things out visually to move m. 43 to the previous system.

That's all, I'll accept after the above are adjusted! Great work!

Done!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot