Hello there! Have you ever wanted a normal life? One of consistency and purpose? One that perhaps isn’t surrounded by questioning the existence of potatoes and Australia? Well have I got news for you: don’t we all? If you vote me, I promise I’ll... uh... one moment.
*beep boop boop beep boop* *Riiiiiing* Hey, uh, yeah, is this the part where I— yeah? If you say so, but I don’t know if— Are you sure...? Okay... *click*
Sorry about that. Anyway, if you vote me, E. Gadd, for mayor, I promise I’ll focus more of my time into inventing semi-useful things, masterpieces that neither blow nor suck!
#EGaddforMayor2018
I’m E. Gadd Industries, and I approve this message.