The Great NSM Novel

[Mashi]

Now, now, Saria.  You're satire in the novel.  You're the cute and frivolous character of the story, not the annoying and stupid one.  And besides, SlowPokemon has had nearly all the characters do something frivolous and has expressed a few traits of people to a radical degree simply to make things more interesting.  He's not trying to poke fun of you, we still view you as the most adorable poster on the forum, Saria!

[Nebbles]

Saria, you're getting really offended over something that is not offensive. As Mashi said, Slow's just making some certain traits of ours more radical and whatnot. I honestly can't remember how he wrote me... but if he wanted to poke fun at something about me like he's done to everyone else, I wouldn't mind! It's good to laugh at yourself once in a while.

[Winter]

Oooh my turn! Make fun of me next! Make me do something satirical!

[Raymondbl]

Lmao at the Sipan and TalesExlife part.  I really did laugh hard, it was pretty hilarious. 

[Saria]

Oh do you? Tell

He's busy because he has a life.

Why do you think it takes me forever to get stuff done on the site?  Oh right.  I has a life.  : p 

[Ruto]

But that was last year...why are you looking that far? XD

[SlowPokemon]

CHAPTER EIGHT
Nothing?

    "You guys have nothing?!" JaMaHa said incredulously. "Nothing whatsoever?!"

    "Well, not really nothing," admitted Winter. "Just a bunch of useless information. Cobraroll wrote a story called The Gnat Hat."

    "What is a gnat?" Jub asked in bewilderment.

    "A small insect," said Mashi.

    "Ohhhh, those little black things that just look like floating dots?" said SuperFireKirby.

    "Yes, those. I've always found them rather annoying," said Slow.

    JaMaHa sucked air into his cheeks, then slowly let it out.

"Guys."

No one heard him. Roz and SFK were now having a shouting match over whether gnats were black or really dark brown.

"GUYS," he said louder.

    "They are BLACK, you numbskull!" seethed Roz. "Are you just trolling me?"

    "I think that's RACIST of you to call the poor little GNATS a certain COLOR!" shouted SuperFireKirby importantly. "It hurts their FEELINGS, man!"

    "SHUT THE HELL UP!" shouted JaMaHa.

    Everyone stopped talking and gazed upon the mayor with terror. Then they all broke out in nervous chatter.

    "Jeez..."

    "Why does he have to be so mean..."

    "Who pissed in HIS coffee, HUH?"

    "Was he abused as a child or something?"

    "Is he drunk?"
   
    "What? JaMaHa's an alcoholic?"

    "I can't believe he used profanity! Is he allowed to do that?"

    "He sure as hell is, he's the mayor..."

    "What if he goes crazy and destroys the city?"

    "I've always thought that backups thing might not have been n accident..."

    "Guys, seriously, sorry for bursting out like that," said JaMaHa ruefully. "But you never listen when I'm talking." As the ten citizens immediately began to indignantly protest, he shouted, "Atten-TION!" and they abruptly stood up straight and stayed silent. "Good," he said. "Now, you must realize that we have to have some information to conduct a proper investigation and find Concerto."

    "But this town is so BORING!" complained SuperFireKirby. "Like, nobody knows ANYTHING."

    "That can't be true," said JaMaHa hopefully. "Somebody must have SOME leads..."

    "Well..." said Mashi thoughtfully, "DrP did mention something about an argument with Concerto recently..."

    JaMaHa sighed. "Any lead that doesn't involve the nicest guy in town...?"

    "Oh!" said Slow suddenly, then turned red as everyone turned to look at him. "Uhm, sorry, Mr. JaMaHa, sir..." he said nervously. "Just, er, well...uhm...when we were...that is to say..."

    "OUT with it already!" SFK said, exasperated.

    "Ruto mentioned that the last time she saw Concerto was at the Tinychat Bar," said Slow. "Remember? I mean...it couldn't hurt to go ask Shadowkirby some questions..." Shadowkirby was the proprietor of the Tinychat Bar, a place where locals went to talk with friends and neighbors often.

    "Well, if that's all we've got," said JaMaHa resignedly.

    "Wait," said Roz. "We still haven't interrogated everyone in town, though."

    "True," said JaMaHa. "Tell you what. You guys go do your interrogating thing a little longer. Everybody meet up at the Tinychat Bar in an hour. Good?"

    Everybody agreed and they tried to figure out who was left.

    "Let's see who's left..." said Roz to Slow. "Let's you and me go see if Dahans knows anything about this."

    "Okay," said Slow agreeably.

    Winter was talking to Nebbles and ETF. "No one's spoken to Wrydryn yet," he said.

    "Sounds fine," said Nebbles, and ETF nodded.

    "Hey, DUDE!" said SuperFireKirby, grinning broadly. "Let's go see what K-NIGHT has to say about this!"

    Dude tried to appear as least annoyed as possible as he scanned the room and muttered "Is there anyone else available...?"

    "What was that?" said SuperFireKirby. Dude, startled, quickly said, "Nothing! Nothing!"

    Mashi said quietly to Jub3r7, "I think Finger has yet to be interrogated."

    "Oh, uh, yeah!" said Jub3r7 brightly. "He's always fun."

    "Where does that leave me?" said Kefka.

    "You come with me," said JaMaHa. He motioned for Kefka to come closer, then leaned in to speak quietly. "Kefka, I need to tell you something."

    Kefka recognized the look in the mayor's eyes and said, "Maybe we should go outside...?"

    "I think that would be good," said JaMaHa, and they walked outside. It was roughly 7:00 PM, but in winter the sky was dark and snow was falling lightly. Neither said anything for a while. Finally JaMaHa took a deep breath. "Kefka, you're a moderator now. So I would hope you can be trusted with this information. I don't want you scaring the townsfolk. But the fact is, Concerto was - is - my right hand man. So as such... he has some very big responsibilities."

    "Such as...?" Kefka said.

    "Kefka, I don't want you to be alarmed, but... Concerto is the only one who knows the current password required to make backups for the city," said JaMaHa.

    Kefka gaped at JaMaHa in disbelief. "What?"

    "Do I really need to say it again?" hissed JaMaHa. "He was the only one who held the password. We thought that would be safer. If potential hackers wanted to breach our system, they would come after the mayor, right? Not some city official."

    "That didn't work out very well, did it?" said Kefka, trying to contain his anger. "Now that city official is missing, and we have no way to make backups until he's back." He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He had to ask. "When are backups next due?"

    JaMaHa swallowed. "Tomorrow night."

    Kefka simply nodded and looked out over the oblivious city, the snow falling lightly.

    "We're gonna need to step it up a little, then, huh."

    JaMaHa nodded.

[K-NiGhT]

I'm gonna be in it? YUS

[SlowPokemon]

Well you've become an integral part of the forums.

[K-NiGhT]

Is that what happens when you get 1000 posts? XD

[Winter]

My oh my.

[spitllama]

I'm not an integral part of the forums

[blueflower999]

Slow, you are a genius for writing this. Keep it up! 

[Mashi]

00:29      *** mib_jjxnxy joined #NinSheetMusic
00:29   mib_jjxnxy   Whaaaat
00:29      *** mib_jjxnxy is now known as Concerto
00:29   Vera   
00:29   Cirno   hai
00:29   Vera   I found Concerto.
00:29   Concerto   Why is everything so
00:29   Concerto   Pretty
00:29   Cirno   i know
00:29   Vera   Concerto, where have you been???
00:30   Cirno   register your nick
00:30   Concerto   Skydiving
00:30   Cirno   so we can op you
00:30   Concerto   On Mars
00:30   Vera   I see.

Bonus points if you incorporate a correlation between Concerto and Mars into the story!

[Ruto]

Omg keep writing XD