Relationships

[Bubbles]

There's no competition. Don't make a relationship with anyone into a game that you need to win.

[Tobbeh99]

There's no competition. Don't make a relationship with anyone into a game that you need to win.

Wise words. But easier said than done, since the girl is a "really special girl" and I've seen few girls like her.

[mikey]

look man relationships aren't about getting the girl it's about becoming closer with people.  If you like her, ask her on a date.  If she says no, you can try again in a couple months or just drop it.  It's not difficult.

[Tobbeh99]

Maybe you're right Noc. Idk, my life is/feels kind of complicated.

[mikey]

MAN JUST ASK HER TO GO ICE SKATING WITH YOU THIS FRIDAY NIGHT

[Zunawe]

You're not trying to win a prize. There's not even some part of it to universally be called "successful." It's a relationship; it develops forever. You're not doing yourself any favors by dancing around the subject and trying to "outmaneuver" other people. Just make it as simple as asking her out. If she says yes, good for you. If she says no, you're not lost in some "what if" fantasy. That's all you have to do. And if you feel like you need to take some time to figure out whether you're interested in her before asking, take that time. But once you start trying to make her like you, you're going down a dangerous path.

Ninja'd: I can confirm that ice skating makes a really good date.

[SlowPokemon]

look man relationships aren't about getting the girl it's about becoming closer with people.  If you like her, ask her on a date.  If she says no, you can try again in a couple months or just drop it.  It's not difficult.

This is the smartest thing anyone's ever said in this thread

[Tobbeh99]

MAN JUST ASK HER TO GO ICE SKATING WITH YOU THIS FRIDAY NIGHT

You're not trying to win a prize. There's not even some part of it to universally be called "successful." It's a relationship; it develops forever. You're not doing yourself any favors by dancing around the subject and trying to "outmaneuver" other people. Just make it as simple as asking her out. If she says yes, good for you. If she says no, you're not lost in some "what if" fantasy. That's all you have to do. And if you feel like you need to take some time to figure out whether you're interested in her before asking, take that time. But once you start trying to make her like you, you're going down a dangerous path.

Ninja'd: I can confirm that ice skating makes a really good date.

So chill out Noc. The way I'm going with this is that I'll probably try socializing with her more, I mean we work at the same workplace, and probably also with other people involved so that it's more a relaxed situation rather than "Now it's only you and me" situation. And then maybe she'll like me more and want to know me more and want to in the end build a relationship with me, or maybe not and she'll say something along the lines of "you're ok, but not the one I'm particularly interested in" and I'm actually fine with that even though it's a pretty hard blow. And Zun, obviously I thought this through and come to the point that she'll have to "decide" (by time, not immediately), and if she likes me most of all people then I'm super-happy and also super-lucky! Bu if she doesn't loves me the most, I'd just have to accept it, take a really deep breath and say to myself "this is really really sad, but Tobbe, there might be some other really good super-special girl like her out there, or maybe someone you'll truly love in some way or the other who'll love you in the same way you do, so Don't give up, when you miss the first buss be patient and wait for the second one to come and it will hopefully come to you and be as awesome as the first one". So y, it's a tough spot for me, mentally, to be in atm, Zun and other people and I hope you understand it. But to help myself, I'll try be as normal as posible and to not get into all this too much, and instead focus on other things like "all the work I got at my job atm (Christmas time=more job)", and "having great time with families and friends, I mean it's Christmas Time now - best time of the year! ", and "just chilling out for own personal, and others as well's, best."

[Nebbles]

You're not trying to win a prize. There's not even some part of it to universally be called "successful." It's a relationship; it develops forever. You're not doing yourself any favors by dancing around the subject and trying to "outmaneuver" other people. Just make it as simple as asking her out. If she says yes, good for you. If she says no, you're not lost in some "what if" fantasy. That's all you have to do. And if you feel like you need to take some time to figure out whether you're interested in her before asking, take that time. But once you start trying to make her like you, you're going down a dangerous path.

Ninja'd: I can confirm that ice skating makes a really good date.

Borrowing off this - you cannot force anyone to like you. Relationships and people do not work that way. You shouldn't trying to manipulate yourself to seem more presentable over other people to try and land a date.

[Tobbeh99]

Borrowing off this - you cannot force anyone to like you. Relationships and people do not work that way. You shouldn't trying to manipulate yourself to seem more presentable over other people to try and land a date.

Lol have you guys ever listened to what I've said!? Obviously I'm trying to just chill out and be myself, and trying to ignore this stuff......... we'll see how many time I'll have to repeat myself (maybe as many as the mods consider it to be spam, lol )

[EFitTrainr]

Your post being marked as spam is far more likely than these guy's words of advice making it through your thick skull.

[Tobbeh99]

We'll see ShadowKirby, we'll see!

[Dude]

Let's set that aside for now and talk about some real problems, shall we?

So I want a partner in life and I'm sexually attracted to guys, but the idea of sex scares me. Is that something that's... bad?? Like I get nervous thinking about it and kinda think it'd be a bad idea but..  I love dudes, man.

Hlp

[Nebbles]

There's definitely nothing wrong with it. Everyone feels different ways about having sex, and in your case, you could only feel comfortable about sex depending on the right person, perhaps? I can't say for certain since your own feelings are your own, but being nervous about sex is totally normal.

[mikey]