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Author Topic: Relationships  (Read 209886 times)

blueflower999

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1035 on: February 10, 2014, 11:25:49 PM »

If you have to consider divorce and commitment before marriage then you're probably not marrying the right person.
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FierceDeity

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1036 on: February 10, 2014, 11:34:53 PM »

Or you're a human being who acknowledges the fact that things can change and not everything can be predicted.
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mikey

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1037 on: February 10, 2014, 11:38:30 PM »

Or you're a human being
check
who acknowledges the fact that things can change
only if I let them
and not everything can be predicted.
yes they can!

Seriously though he said BEFORE marriage.  You would think (hope?) that when you're marrying someone you won't want to leave them.
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1038 on: February 10, 2014, 11:42:26 PM »

I think he just worded it strangely. It's something that's impossible not to worry about, not because you don't trust the person but because you can't help feeling scared. It shouldn't prevent you from getting married though.
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blueflower999

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1039 on: February 10, 2014, 11:44:13 PM »

Or you're a human being who acknowledges the fact that things can change and not everything can be predicted.
Life can be unpredictable, but that doesn't mean that you say "Ah screw it, whatever happens happens" when making a commitment like marriage.  :P
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MaestroUGC

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1040 on: February 10, 2014, 11:44:48 PM »

Thousands of people do everyday.
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1041 on: February 10, 2014, 11:45:43 PM »

Doesn't mean they should. Marriage isn't really something to be taken lightly. Though it is becoming more and more that way.

Also we just passed the two year anniversary of this thread this week.
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MaestroUGC

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1042 on: February 10, 2014, 11:50:23 PM »

I never said it was a good thing. The thing is marriage is a risk you're either willing or unwilling to take. Infidelity is only one thing that can go wrong in a relationship, there are still far more variable that will impact a marriage than that.

If the idea of getting married frightens or worries you now, then don't get married now. Don't even plan for it. Don't even fantasize about marrying someone if it concerns you that much. Just be with them and grow with them until you think you can handle it.

Or unless you guys figure out something else that works for you.
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Ruto

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1043 on: February 10, 2014, 11:51:37 PM »

I think you'll be fine if you know when exactly to bail out (meaning you don't stay in an unhappy marriage for a decade) and you didn't throw a huge wedding reception...
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MaestroUGC

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1044 on: February 10, 2014, 11:55:42 PM »

Ruto you don't seem to enjoy the idea of marriage in and of itself, do you?
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FierceDeity

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1045 on: February 11, 2014, 12:01:58 AM »

Quote
things can change
only if I let them

Scenario: You marry a woman, live happily for a few years, but then, due to circumstances out of your control, she undergoes some traumatic event. Her personality changes, as can be expected, but being a good person, you stay with her so that she can have at least one good thing in her life. Yet, this isn't enough, as she starts lashing out at you at every given opportunity, making it impossible to actually be there for her. You try counseling, you try therapy, she is either unaccepting of or unresponsive to it all. There is no longer any reason for you to be with her, as all of your best efforts have failed to remedy the situation, and so you split apart. Would you say that you let that happen? You assume too much of your own abilities, and not enough of random chance.

Quote
not everything can be predicted
yes they can!

I suppose, if we were given an infinite amount of time, resources, and sensory capability, then yes, everything could be predicted down to the atomic level. However, we do not now, nor will we ever, have these things. There are so many things that can change the course of a relationship that we will never have the ability to fully predict, and that is why it's sensible for ETF to be worried about the implications of such a commitment.

Life can be unpredictable, but that doesn't mean that you say "Ah screw it, whatever happens happens" when making a commitment like marriage.  :P

But...that's my point. I'm saying that by ETF considering divorce and commitment before marriage, this says nothing about the person she'd be marrying. It says that she's being careful and NOT just saying "Ah screw it, whatever happens happens".
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spitllama

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1046 on: February 11, 2014, 12:11:33 AM »

I was thinking about this over the weekend (don't ask me what started it).

You know how people complain that there's no punishment for cheating? Why not just make it a standard thing that couples can write into their marriage contracts (or make a separate one) that outlines the repercussions for cheating? Obviously you would define what that entails in advance. It's not exactly the most romantic thing, but if I found out my wife was sleeping with another man and we got in a divorce, I would be more than happy to take all of our possessions, or whatever is allocated through the deal.
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MaestroUGC

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1047 on: February 11, 2014, 12:15:24 AM »

I do believe you can already do that in a prenuptial agreement. In fact, that's the whole point of the document.
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ETFROXX

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1048 on: February 11, 2014, 12:18:59 AM »

I think he just worded it strangely. It's something that's impossible not to worry about, not because you don't trust the person but because you can't help feeling scared. It shouldn't prevent you from getting married though.

I really hope that was a typo.

As has been said, it has nothing to do with the person I'm marrying. I'm just being realistic. I know that even the most perfect relationships can fall apart. That's just life, and it's scary. Shit happens, y'know?
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #1049 on: February 11, 2014, 12:20:12 AM »

I really hope that was a typo.

Haha no, I was talking about Blueflower. No worries Miss Jordan.
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Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.
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