FireArrow's Arrangements: (NEW: Big Christmas Update :D)

[DonValentino]

Nice work, Fire. Other than the things Jompa pointed up, it's very very nice.

[FireArrow]

Woah, thanks guys! It actually took me quite some time to work out the main theme, but once I finished  that it it was pretty straight forward from there. However, I'm very unsure about some of the songs because of how dry they feel.

This is very good. The only thing I can complain about is the difficulty level (like spit said with the octaves).
And also about those sixteens at measure 16 trough 19 - couldn't you just write eights, and assign staccato to them?
And the Db in measure 17 and 19 - wouldn't you want to have those as C#?

1.I'll remove the octaves, it just doesn't sound right without them.
2. Something I learned from the live feed back thread is that staccatos mean "seperate it from the next note" not "shorten it." So I'd be able to do that for the first 5, but not the last one as no note follows it. I guess I could notate it that way, but I feel it would be easier to read if they were uniform. Now that I think about it, I need to remove the staccatos from the end of the into.
3. It's a broken G diminished chord, but it is a bit confusing to go from C# to Db in one measure. Thoughts?

[TheZeldaPianist275]

...okay, I admit it.  This is too catchy.  Fire, I'm literally pressing replay over and over.

[FireArrow]

Haha, thanks. I had the same problem while arranging this song, it's a pretty brilliant composition (most of Mario Kart Wii has great songs.)

[Jompa]

Actually Fire, at measure#17 it modulates:
It was in A minor up until now, but at 17 it goes into Phrygian Dominant "mode" (coincidentally I am composing a piece in Phrygian Dominant right now). It is worth mentioning that this actually is major - so you'll have to change the key! The scale is A Bb C# D E F G A, so you'll have to use loose accidentals for the Bb F and G.
Which brings me back to the Db - there is no Db in A major - in this situation it is pretty obligatory to use C#.

[FireArrow]

Oh, haha, I thought I was being smart by recognizing a chord. 

When you say change the key signature, do you just want me to notate it with accidentals or actually put a C# and Bb in the key signature?

[Jompa]

Change it to A major with three sharps - that's all you really have to do (just make sure all the pitches stay the same).
After you've done that there will be loads of accidentals for all the Bb, F and G, but that is just how it is supposed to be:)

[FireArrow]

Ok, I'll get on that now. Would you recommend doing the same in the intro and measures 7-11?

[Jompa]

Not at measures 7-11, because the song never actually modulates here. Just loose accidentals - you were probably concerned about that C#, but that is only there because it leads to the next chord, Dminor.
At the intro it appears as though the song starts in A major, but then halfway through the first measure it modulates to A minor, which it stays in until measure 17. If you wish to include this key change on the sheet, you will have to change the time to 6/8, in order to have a modulation here.

I also noticed that the notation in measure 2 is a little messy.

[FireArrow]

Ugh, I forgot an 8th rest in the L.H.

Fixed.

[Jompa]

Fire, I want this arrangement to be perfect when it's done, therefore I am writing all of this, and I hope you don't mind the extra work you'll have to do:

1. In the first measure - first layer in the right hand:
in 12/8 the beats are on the dotted quarters. I could explain this further, but my point about this is that you cannot put down a half rest here. You have to put a dotted quarter rest followed by an eight rest.

2 In the second measure - both hands:
I know you already changed away from this but the following is the "correct" (at least the simplest, not to mention best looking) way to notate this:
Both hands should follow this rhythm:
eight - sixteenth - sixteenth - eight - eight(rest) - eight - eight(rest) - eight - eight(rest) - eight(rest) - dotted quarter(rest)
If you want a note to be shorter, staccato it!

3. At measures#3 to #6 & #12 to #15 - in the left hand:
I see on top of every third or so eight that there are dots above them.
Are those assigned for the eights or the dotted quarters?
It says on Finale that you assigned them to the eights but... I don't really see the point of assigning them to the eights, if that's what you did.
And if you assigned them to the quarters, they shouldn't be above the eights - because then they look like they are assigned to the eights.
But of course, if you think it is necessary to have them there, then that's just good:)

4. At measures #10 and #11 - left hand:
I don't know about you, but I would do something about the ledger lines in the left hand. an ottava alta assignment, or a clef change or something.
Of course, it's up to you if you at all want to change it.

5. At measures #16 to #19 - right hand:
Do you remember what I said at point #1 above, on how the beats work in 12/8?
At these measures you can't have a half rest followed by a quarter rest to make up half a measure - it's agains the 12/8 beats.
You'll have to change that to a dotted half rest.

6. At measures #16 to #19 - right hand:
I already pointed this out, about the sixteenths each followed by a sixteenth rest. And I never understood why you would want to have it like that, instead of just eights (with staccatos). I think you should change it. It makes it much prettier.

7. In the last measure - both hands:
the rests after that last sixteenth are wrong.
First off, you should change the sixteenth to an eight (I don't know if you want a staccato or not). Then that eight should be followed by two eight rests.
If you do that, it will be correct

8. (This is a weird one) Measures #16 trough the end:
Equip a big note value.
then click on at least one of the notes in each of these measures - only click notes that are at lower note values that the one equipped.
The point of doing this is:
After you changed the time signature, the notation didn't quite "go along with it". Therefore it must be updated, and this can be done for each measure by changing (or just clicking - if you want them to stay the same) one of the notes in the measures.
If you do this, the last bit will basically "fit" better and look better.

[Sebastian]

Good work on thwomp desert. I hope you fix all those things jompa recommends. I really like this song and I really want to see it perfect.
Great Job!!

[FireArrow]

Woah, I'm so sorry I missed this! I really appreciate you putting all this effort into my arrangement, I should buy you a cookie or something (I'm not even kidding.) Anyways,  I did most of what you said, but there were somethings I didn't agree with. I also noticed an error regarding accuracy at the end of the song.

2 In the second measure - both hands:
I know you already changed away from this but the following is the "correct" (at least the simplest, not to mention best looking) way to notate this:
Both hands should follow this rhythm:
eight - sixteenth - sixteenth - eight - eight(rest) - eight - eight(rest) - eight - eight(rest) - eight(rest) - dotted quarter(rest)
If you want a note to be shorter, staccato it!

You can't staccato a note if there isn't one after it.

3. At measures#3 to #6 & #12 to #15 - in the left hand:
I see on top of every third or so eight that there are dots above them.
Are those assigned for the eights or the dotted quarters?
It says on Finale that you assigned them to the eights but... I don't really see the point of assigning them to the eights, if that's what you did.
And if you assigned them to the quarters, they shouldn't be above the eights - because then they look like they are assigned to the eights.
But of course, if you think it is necessary to have them there, then that's just good:)

They're assigned to the eighths. The eights that I marked are different from the rest, but whether it be a staccato or accent, I don't know.

6. At measures #16 to #19 - right hand:
I already pointed this out, about the sixteenths each followed by a sixteenth rest. And I never understood why you would want to have it like that, instead of just eights (with staccatos). I think you should change it. It makes it much prettier.

I guess I could do that to every note but the last one in the phrase if you think that would look better.

7. In the last measure - both hands:
the rests after that last sixteenth are wrong.
First off, you should change the sixteenth to an eight (I don't know if you want a staccato or not). Then that eight should be followed by two eight rests.
If you do that, it will be correct

I think the value of a sixteenth fits that note perfectly, and I can't staccato it for reasons already stated. I did move the sixteenth rest be next to the sixteenth note though.

[Jompa]

Oh, You can definitely staccato a note even if there isn't a note following it!
Staccato means to shorten the duration of a note and that the space between it and the next note will be replaced by silence <-- this is the definition I believe you are defending. However, rests count as well! Basically you can staccato ANY note, because regardless of what follows you'll be replacing the space between it with silence - and it doesn't even really directly affect what follows.
You can staccato any note you want to be shorter in duration. Trust me, you definitely can!
Think about it; it would be silly if we couldn't.


If you accept that, then I have some more criticism:

Criticism

I'll just start over with what you have now:

In measure 1:
You fixed the rest-problem, but you should move that eight downwards, to make it look like it is grouped with the layer at the bottom.

I still think you should do this (trust me, you can staccato even if there isn't a note after it.)

2 In the second measure - both hands:
I know you already changed away from this but the following is the "correct" (at least the simplest, not to mention best looking) way to notate this:
Both hands should follow this rhythm:
eight - sixteenth - sixteenth - eight - eight(rest) - eight - eight(rest) - eight - eight(rest) - eight(rest) - dotted quarter(rest)
If you want a note to be shorter, staccato it!

Which of course means you can do this too:

6. At measures #16 to #19 - right hand:
I already pointed this out, about the sixteenths each followed by a sixteenth rest. And I never understood why you would want to have it like that, instead of just eights (with staccatos). I think you should change it. It makes it much prettier.

You never really fixed this:

At measures #16 to #19 - right hand:
Do you remember what I said at point #1 above, on how the beats work in 12/8?
At these measures you can't have a half rest followed by a quarter rest to make up half a measure - it's agains the 12/8 beats.
You'll have to change that to a dotted half rest.

Last measure:
Yeah, if you want a sixteenth there then that's cool. But I don't really see the difference between that and a staccato'd eight.
I'd probably staccato it anyways, even as a sixteenth.

After you changed the arrangement, I noticed you did something weird:
From measures #20 through #23 there is this sixteenth note followed by a sixteenth rest in each measure.
But why not just have those as eights?

[close]

[FireArrow]

At least according to Olimar, a staccato means to separate a note from the following note, not to shorten the length of a note. If you want to shorten the length of a note, just use a shorter note value. I've had lots of arrangements where he's changed a staccatoed eight into a sixteenth for that very reason.

Not to say you're wrong, you may be right, but if I ever want this to get on site, I'm gonna have to go by his rules.

I did fix the rest in measure 1 though.