Halloween Horror Special 2020 part 1
fuzzyface.exe
The following account is transcribed from a series of audio recordings by a Mr. [REDACTED] regarding Case 3217. It concerns an anomaly that supposedly manifested itself on the internet, on an as-of-yet unknown website. Aside from the accounts of Mr. [REDACTED] and two other subjects, no evidence of this anomaly or its origin could be verified. None of the three subjects have been located for further verification and are currently regarded as missing or deceased. Likewise, none of the individuals named in any of the accounts have been located or found to have existed in the first place.
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07/12/20XX
So last week I had a mental breakdown. Mondays, huh? They just kinda creep up on you, and then it happens all at once. The breakdown, that is, but maybe the Mondays too. Maybe you feel it coming for a while as the stress builds up, and you think you can handle it, until one day it all boils over, and suddenly you can’t, or maybe it just surprises you out of nowhere… anyway, it happens. Happens to everyone, I’m told. That doesn’t make it any less embarrassing when it happens to you. I broke down in the middle of the office and… you know what, never mind, I don’t need to talk about that. What’s important is I had a lot of vacation time built up, and was, uh… “encouraged” to use as much of it as I needed. Get some rest, maybe go to a therapist, and… y’know, I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with therapists. A bad one can leave you more messed up than when you came in the first place. The first therapist I tried kept trying to make me hold these vibrating disk-things while telling me to envision a “neutral space,” whatever that was supposed to be. And… you know, let’s just move on. One of my friends—someone not from the office—recommended some sort of “holistic” therapist, whatever that means. I didn’t really get a good feeling from it, but I trusted this friend, and the first session was free, so I figured, what the hell, might as well try! I was pretty desperate.
Honestly, the therapist was pretty weird, and I’m not planning to go back there, but I guess it helped more than it hurt. Dude called himself “Dr. Ivan Schumacher.” Had a very slight accent I couldn’t place. He’s the one who suggested I start journaling, and, well, I guess I’m doing that now. Took a little bit, but I’m doing it. He also gave me some resources that pointed me toward a small online community forum for mental exercises and meditation. It seemed fairly chill, and I guess it’s good to start small. Maybe it’s something that can help me center myself at the end of the day or maybe even in the moment when I feel the stress coming on. The only thing is it’s hard to find the time to do that. I’m the kind of person who likes going and going without stopping. Taking too much time to pause and sit makes me feel weird. Eh, who knows.
07/19/20XX
So I’ve been looking at that website I found. Haven’t made an account, I’m too nervous even though it’s technically anonymous, in theory at least… but I’ve been looking. Lots of off site links. Some of them to websites that haven’t really been maintained very well, look like they’re out of the 90s. But they house things some people said have really worked for them. Some of them just lists of things to try, others actual programs you have to download. And, you know, maybe if it works for one of them, it might work for me too, hey? And I have good antivirus, so what’s to lose?
07/23/20XX
Earlier today, I found a new program. A user named “zarxx” was talking about it. He only had five posts on the forum, and three of them were about this program, but like I said earlier, I’m willing to try anything… almost anything. The website looked like a lot of the others: teal background, sidebar, heavy use of a yellow-orange font, weird graphics. A lot of the pages were either “under construction” or not really that relevant, but I downloaded the program and tried it out. It’s called “fuzzy,” all lowercase letters. The tagline is “Bringing you vibes that will make you feel truly FUZZY.” There the word is in all caps. The program looks at least a little bit newer than the website, it’s clean and uses more “normal” colors. Lot of silver.
The program has a bunch of exercises—like really, a BUNCH of them, like maybe hundreds, even a thousand, it doesn’t count them. They all have different names of stuff that I guess is supposed to be relaxing, like “water” or “in the field.” When you click on one of them, it tells you to put on headphones and try to focus on the screen for as long as you can, to try and shut out everything else. It plays some noises and some very colorful visuals. Some of the things it shows are recognizable, but occasionally there’s something that you can’t quite place. It’s very interesting. Don’t know if I’ll go through more than a few of the exercises, but it’s… interesting.
08/05/20XX
Ok, so I went through more than a few of the exercises in the “fuzzy” program. It’s oddly enrapturing. It draws you in, and you kinda just… get lost for a bit. I don’t know why, but… it does. I don’t know how they did it, but I think I like it. I think I’ll…
08/10/20XX
I ran into one of my old friends today. I haven’t seen him in such a long time, but he seemed confused when I said that. He tried to tell me I just saw him last week, but I don’t think I did. He must’ve been the one who was confused. He asked me how my vacation was, and I didn’t really want to answer that, so I kinda just walked away and came back here. Come to think of it, I don’t really know why I went out anyway.
08/16/20XX
I’ve gotten deeper into that “fuzzy” program. I don’t know how many of the exercises I’ve gone through, but it feels like I’ve done a lot of them—but I still have a lot to go. Maybe… maybe I’ve done a few of them more than once, I’m not sure. I dunno, it just makes me feel pretty relaxed when I go through it. I don’t know how long the exercises go on for before they loop, so I just listen to them for an hour or so before I move on to the next one. I… I don’t know how many I’ve done each day, I… you know, I can’t really remember that. The hours really kind of slip by when you’re really into it. And… what… what day is it, anyway?
08/20/20XX
I called work today to try and extend my vacation time a bit. Said I was seeing a new therapist, and it was going well, but I needed more time to focus on myself and the treatment. That was a lie. I don’t know if they’ll need a note or something, but they didn’t ask. They seemed pretty sympathetic. Was my breakdown really that bad? I don’t really remember a lot of it. I guess it must’ve been pretty bad… but it all seems like such a distant memory. I look outside, and I see so many wonderful colors—so many colors I’ve never seen before. I don’t know how I ever could’ve been so unhappy with so many wonderful colors like this just outside my window, and in my room, and all around me. So many wonderful colors. Maybe I was blind before. I was too busy to see the world around me for what it was. So many wonderful colors.
08/24/20XX
I think I’ve found out that most of my day is occupied by doing the exercises on “fuzzy.” It’s really something, I just can’t stop it. It makes me feel good. Makes me whole. I don’t know when I find time to eat, or sleep, but I think it happens. It must be happening, right? I guess when you’ve found something that really makes you happy, everything else just kind of fades away in comparison, yeah? Is that a bad thing? I still have a lot more of the exercises left, I can’t quit now. Maybe when I finish, it’ll all make sense. Yeah, that… that… seems right.
09/15/20XX
My vacation time ended a while ago, I think. Work keeps calling and asking when I’ll be back. Sometimes I tell them I just need more time, sometimes I tell them to fuck off, sometimes I don’t even remember what I tell them. Sometimes people will knock on the door and tell me things, whisper things at me. One time someone yelled at me. At first, I tried responding to them, being nice to them, telling them that everything is ok. That seemed to make them happy at first, that seemed to placate them for a time, but then they kept coming back, and I started hiding.
I’ve closed the blinds because the colors from the outside were too intense. It doesn’t help much, because I think the colors in my room are getting stronger too. But the colors on my screen keep calling to me. I’m safe with them. I think I can finally feel my face tingling.
10/11/20XX
Work keeps calling. Don’t they get it? I’M NOT COMING BACK!!! They’re trying a lot of different things to try and get me to come back. Sometimes they claim they’re my mother, sometimes they claim they’re Joe… didn’t Joe die when I was a teen? I think someone broke into my house today. I couldn’t tell, everything is starting to blur. I remember talking to someone. Even the colors are fading, getting mixed into a huge jumble. But it’s ok. I have my phone, and I have my computer. I must be keeping them charged somehow. Maybe they’ve found a way to charge themselves? I’m having trouble hearing myself, but I think that’s because I’m tired. I think I’ve been falling asleep listening to the exercises, or… yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Hello? HELLO? HELLO?!
11/01/20XX
Everything is a haze. I don’t know where I am. My vision is too damn everything blurred together to make sense of it, and the sounds. Damn, the sounds. I must have my phone, and my computer too with me, I think. Do I? I think I see the glimmer of a screen through all the nonsense, and sometimes I hear something too. Those are the things keeping me relaxed at the end of the day.
11/03/20XX
...and sometimes, I feel something caressing my head. That must be my headphones, right? When’s the last time I took them off?
(DATE UNKNOWN)
I think I’ve made a terrible mistake. I must be alive. I don’t even know if I’m alive any more. I must be. Everything’s a blur. Sometimes I hear screaming. I see things that pop out from the sights, they’re there and then they’re gone. I don’t know if I can ever come back from this. I’ve made a mistake. I shouldn’t have touched that GODDAMN program… “fuzzy.” I went too deep into it, and I think it did something to me. I don’t know how… please, please, I just want someone to help me, take me away from this. I think I lost my computer. I don’t feel much of anything any more, but I think I got up and just started walking. My body feels numb. My body? I feel numb, every part of me. That’s what it is, yeah? Numbness? All I can really feel is an intense... feeling in my face. I know it’s my face, it has to be. So I think I still have a face, that’s good. And that makes me happy. It’s the only emotion I’ve got left. Even the encroaching dread doesn’t really feel real in comparison. But I’ve made an irreversible mistake, I know I have, and I’m happy, because my face feels fuzzy.
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The phone was recovered at [REDACTED] on [REDACTED]. It appears to not have been used for several weeks before being located. This is the most recent incident detailed in Case 3217. It is unknown at this time if any more incidents will occur.
STAY TUNED FOR PART 2: LAMENT FOR A MODERN LAZARUS