[3DS] Pokémon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire - "Leader's Theme (Team Magma/Team Aqua)" by Yugikun

Started by Zeta, December 27, 2014, 09:23:57 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Leader's Theme (Team Magma/Team Aqua)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Yugikun

[attachment deleted by admin]

SlowPokemon

Lots of nitpicky stuff to make your sheet better.

Official name of the track according to the official US iTunes release: "Leader's Theme (Team Magma / Team Aqua)" and the composers are Jun'ichi Masuda and Shota Kageyama. Since Kageyama is arranging a theme that was composed by Masuda, you must credit them both.

Since that's an official release, you'll have to change the title and composer.

Delete the second page of empty space. Delete "Pno." abbreviation from every line after the first.

The copyright needs to be formatted. Include the é in Pokémon, and separate the words of Game Freak. I would also change the slash in "Omega Ruby / Alpha Sapphire" at the top to a & sign, as that's more professional and what the Pokémon company itself uses.

Use a key signature. It's D minor, and modulates to E minor at m. 13.

mm. 1-13: the LH interval that raises is spelled B-flat / E-flat rather than A-sharp / D-sharp -- this would be much more obvious if you had a key signature.

In my opinion, the piece should be at half tempo and the note values halved. It seems silly to make the phrases so long, especially when it causes you to do something like add a rest at the beginning of mm. 6, 8, etc.

I'd consider adding phrase markings or at least dynamics or articulation of some sort, since your sheet is pretty bland right now.

Otherwise good.
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

Yugi

I'm making the changes right now, but I should probably say that the ORAS arrangement on site has the exact same formatting problems, and should be fixed.

Yugi

Made every possible change I could. Someone will need to change the key for me.

SlowPokemon

Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.


Yugi




Maelstrom


Yugi


Yugi

honestly there aren't any problems with the sheet so all someone has to do is change the key signature and accept it


SlowPokemon

Quote from: Yugi on January 15, 2015, 01:34:53 PMhonestly there aren't any problems with the sheet so all someone has to do is change the key signature and accept it

A mod hasn't said there were no problems with the sheet tho
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

Bespinben

1.) At the very end of the repeat, measure 10, beat 4.5 - that dyad is supposed to descend a chromatic half-step down, not a diatonic whole step. In short: it's Eb & Bb, not D & A.

2.) I'm curious to understand why you wrote the bass line in that specific inversion (the fifth on the bottom [A], and the tonic on top [D]. If there's nothing specific you're trying to achieve with that in terms of the texture, I would recommend moving the tonic down an octave as D2, keeping the A where you currently have it. Same for the rest of the bass. This is truer to the original at any rate, and it provides a nicer contrast when the quartal, 4th-based melody comes in because you've been playing open fifths in the bass instead of 4ths already.

3.) Just want to point out that the 3:2 polyrhythm expected to be played in your arrangement is pretty fast (ex: measure 3, beat 3, the overlap between the bass 16th triplets and the straight melody 16ths). It's actually a bit faster than what I demand in my most recent "Ragged Mountain" arrangement, if that says anything. It's certainly possible, no doubt, but I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the sudden difficulty spike there.
Quote from: Nebbles on July 04, 2015, 12:05:12 PM
Someone beat Bespinben to making PMD music?! GASP!

MLF for Chatroom Mod next Tuesday