[3DS] Pokémon X/Y - "Lumiose City" by braixen1264

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon X/Y
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Lumiose City
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: braixen1264

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Bespinben]

*M. 1, 3, & 21 - The beam break in the RH is unnecessary. Highlight the broken note, and press "/" to fix this.
*M. everywhere - RHYTHM NOTATION. The melody is highly syncopated, so you gotta show the 3rd beat.
  --Example, measure 2 ~~ The RH should be written as quarter, 8th, 8th-tied-8th, dotted quarter.
  --Apply similar in measures 4-8, 10, 18, 22, 25-28, 30, and the LH of m. 31.
*Fix the measure layout to be 4 measures per system. This will fill up the two pages whole (achieving optimization of space), and will prevent from having a nasty stretched out 3 measure system at the end.
*Change the title to "Pokémon X/Y'
*Fix the URL to http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/

[Tobbeh99]

Here's for comparison:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AfxpCJXcr0

Next time, make it a habit to include a youtube or an audio file in your comment when making a submission.

[braix]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/20onrup1fbvrfuw/Lumiose%20City.pdf?dl=0
Is this correct or no? Also I'm not too sure about m.31. Should I make some of those notes rests to keep the stacatto?

[Sebastian]

Nice job!
I only have time for a little feedback.
- Measure 10 2nd beat: You don't need that tied and in the original it's short. So, change it to an untied eighth with an eight rest.
- Measure 11 & 12: There are a few wrong melody notes through here.
- Measure 31: I never put staccatos on ties so I would put an eighth and then an eighth rest for those both.
- As it says in G-Han's rules, you will need at least one dynamic.

[braix]

Updated the links in the original post.

- Measure 11 & 12: There are a few wrong melody notes through here.

Also I can't tell where the wrong notes are
(btw I'll add a dynamic soon, I didn't have time to add it in now)

[InsigTurtle]

I don't see anything wrong with m.11
First two notes of m.12 should be a Bb below, then a D below.

Also, I think the B naturals in 13-14 should be C flats?

[Sebastian]

Updated the links in the original post.
Also I can't tell where the wrong notes are
(btw I'll add a dynamic soon, I didn't have time to add it in now)

Whoops.....my bad. Measure 12

[Bespinben]

the B naturals in 13-14 should be C flats

Yes.

Also, the arrangement seems a little sparse in general... maybe incorporate some of the chord backing in the RH where suitable.

[Tobbeh99]

The arrangement needs dynamics.
Maybe like this:
measure 1: mf
measure 10: 4th beat cresc.
measure 11: f
measure 14: dim.
measure 17: mf

also measure 11-16: I think it would be nice if you added octaves to those notes one octave higher. In measure 11 one notes one octave higher, and then in measure 12 3rd beat, add a low octave to the D, and in measures 14-15 add octaves one octave higher.

[Bespinben]

Also, the arrangement seems a little sparse in general... maybe incorporate some of the chord backing in the RH where suitable.

Have you seen Justin Ang's arrangement of this Braix? I normally don't like any of his arrangements, but this one at least shows what I had in mind about expanding some of the harmonies without adding any undue difficulty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQnUpWhsjNI

...and also, our very own DuskPiano of NSM-land made a very nice arrangement as well of Lumiose City for his X/Y medley, which you could also draw ideas from:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzjwonGEeHY

[Bespinben]

Braix yoohoooo~

[braix]

Holy crap where was I
Oh
I'll get back to this sorry ahaha

[Latios212]

Holy crap where was I

you got lost in Lumiose City

[braix]

Edited the post with updated links.